runvardh
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- Joined
- Jun 23, 2007
- Messages
- 8,541
- MBTI Type
- INFP
- Enneagram
- 6w7
- Instinctual Variant
- sx/so
Wow, this took my breath away. Well said indeed. And I apologize in advance for what will surely be a long post...
To the member who called us pansies: do not commit the common error of mistaking our kindness for weakness.
Listen: I've had my share of physical altercations. I'm 11-1, and the one "loss" was my allowing the guy one punch because I knew I deserved it. I only allowed him one though, and he sensed that, and he wisely let it go.
A few memorable ones:
- My father visited me in college a few months after he had a minor heart attack. We got a bit drunk at my favorite local (my father less than me of course), and we hit it off with a group of guys who were friendly enough, but a bit rowdy. Fine. Upon leaving the pub though, the rowdiest of them pushed my dad playfully in the chest, but enough to make him falter. In a flash, that fellow was on the street beneath me, and he was about to die for all I cared. To say I "saw red" would be a massive understatement. Two of his mates could see what was coming, and they wisely grabbed his arms and literally dragged him down the street away from me. The fellow that was left of that group apologized while walking backward and said this of his friend: "He's one of the best college wrestlers I've ever known and I've never seen him go down so fast. Thanks for not hurting him." I would have killed him without remorse had he actually been a threat to my dad.
- A few years ago at a club in a rural southern town, a drunk young fellow started harassing and dancing "too close" to a couple female friends of my ex-wife. He actually reached out to touch one of them. Big mistake. I couldn't hear a thing, but I could see what was happening. If that guy had not been faster of foot than I, he would have regretted ever waking up that day. He and his buds left the club right quick.
- At a pool party a few years ago, another drunk fellow (this one much bigger and stronger than I), was playing like he was gonna throw a pregnant friend of mine in the pool. He actually picked her up, and she screamed. Game over. I pried his grip free and spun him around as quick as you please, and helped my friend back to her seat. He turned to face me, saw the look in my eyes, and rapidly backed off. Good move. I saw him sitting quietly later, obviously brooding and feeling foolish, and my impulse was to go shake his hand and tell him "no hard feelings, but stay away from my friends." My ex-wife said, "F**k him, he deserves to feel bad." She is most decidedly not an INFP. (Edit: my friend's non-INFP husband was right there, and he did nothing. He thanked me later when nobody else was around.)
I could go on, about protecting my Cross Country coach in high school from a bunch of bikers, or taking on three bullies to protect three of my non-INFP male friends right after high school, but by now I've made my point, which is this:
Hurt me? Fine. I can take it. But stay away from those that I love. I have a hero complex, and when protecting a loved one, I have absolutely no fear of harm, or even death. I'm pretty sure this is a common trait of the male INFP.
Just some words to the wise, and to correct a common misconception about my "type." I'm as gentle as they come, and I would literally give any of you the shirt off my back, but tread carefully around my loved ones... there is a raging beast lurking just beneath my placid surface. As angel_m said above, it does scare me what I'm capable of.
Okay, I'm calming down now. Just remembering those incidents made me shake with fury. Carry on good people.
Abstract, out.
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Edit: I paused my DVR to write that post. (Been traveling for work and taking the day off.) Anyway, I'm in the middle of "Sense and Sensibility" and I'm loving every minute of it. I'm actually sitting here giggling and clapping at this "chick flick." Yeah, I'm sensitive, and I do have female traits, but again, the male INFP is somewhat of a paradox in that regard.
I love chatting happily with women, but in a breath, I would draw my sword and gladly die to protect their honor.
I was born two hundred years too late.
It's always easier to be ready to put a man's nose into the back of his skull when INFP. Too many jackasses require pain to learn and some just need their stupidity "cured".