I dont know if this is going to make sense. But say a person has lived under a rock their entire life. This is in a large part their entire perspective on the world. Sure, sometimes they get word that there is something better out there, that they can somehow move out from under that rock if they just 'work hard enough' or 'think more positively' or 'think of this as a learning experience'- but the more and more they hear about this amazing other reality- and the more they find themselves incapable- no matter how hard they try- to get out from under the rock... the more defeated that they might feel. They hear of this wonderful 'success' that is just out of their reach- slmething they are told of, but they themselves, in that moment, just cannot lift that rock. Because sometimes, you can fail at something and you just do not have the honest capability to learn from it. If you are constantly slammed with failure, you can try to get back up, but oftentimes you just dont have the chance before something comes to push you down again. I think that the idea of 'failure being a great learning experience' is a good one, in theory. But it just doesnt always reflect the reality for a lot of people, and in some ways- when you hear that messege that 'you can learn from all of this, if you just try hard enough'- well it can kind of be offensive. Because a lot of people, dont have any other choice but to struggle. And when you are struggling and the honest best you can do is just stay afloat- hearing someone say that they choose to put themselves in the line of failure... it just seems dismissive of just how hard it is to constantly- when it isnt your choice- struggle with just how pervasive and unrelenting failure can be. Im not saying you are trying to be offensive. Im just saying, this is a very complex topic. Failure isnt good, it isnt bad- but for some people its not some sort of tool they can use. Sometimes its just a lot more than that.