I now recognize that there is a root problem to having friend zone problems that isnt even related to "fixing it".
its broken down into two basic parts:
1. Focusing too much on details and not enough on big picture...dont let your attraction to them blind you to obvious signs of non compatability EARLY on
1.a BIG PICTURE MAKES IT SIMPLE:
the reality is that much of 'friendzone' guys talk about how they didnt want to make their feelings known early on because they "werent sure she liked me yet". This can be avoided by not focusing on little nitpicking like : 1-3 seconds eye contact means ____, while her flipping her hair towards mecca means _____ and _____ .... while instead focus on:
who cares how friendly she SEEMS, does she give a shit about YOUR life? does she return questions with more than you asked for? does she ever ask YOU questions about YOUR life?
who cares how friendly she SEEMS about walking with you from ____ to ____ when youre there. does she wait up for you if were to 'hang back' for 30 seconds talking to _____????
the ONLY body language give away that i take seriously is the "puppy eyes" they are the ONLY RELIABLE body language give away, the rest can always be on accident. nobody does puppy eyes on acciden! Rolling Eyes
when you focus on these more big picture questions than body language crap, you realize how ****ing stupid is to ever ask "does she like me?" if you dont know, then the answer is "no" 90% of the time.
think of all the friendzoners (including me) that could of avoided this crap if i had just asked myself those BIG PICTURE questions.
1.b DONT MAKE EXCUSES FOR THEM, THAT SHOULD OTHERWISE BE MADE BY THEM.
this is for when people read those big picture questions and act like "im still not sure!" really? you arent sure of the difference between if she is only being friendly and civil with returning questions in conversation or if she actaully gives a shit about the specifics of your life???
this is so simple i cant believe i was this dumb, lets take the original big picture questions and dissect how you shouldnt make excuses for them, where they should make their own:
-"the only reason she doesnt ask as probing of questions as i do is because she is shy/playing hard to get/just got out of a relationship"
again, dont make excuses FOR HER. if she doesnt make them, then you are to assume that she in fact doesnt give a shit about your life more than a friend level.
-"she doesnt wait up for me when im not walking step for step with her out of class because shes busy, she really needed to make that phone call instead i guess"
DONT MAKE THAT EXCUSE FOR HER!
2. Not valuing yourself enough.
How great can this person be, if they dont want to be with YOU, the greatest person in YOUR OWN LIFE???? it seems so simple, but really, i think the attraction just blinds us to seeing this oh so simple one.
do you really want to be with someone who is so dense as to not like you? (i realise this sounds narcissistic, im assuming the people reading this probably dont suffer from it )
so to review: the attraction blinds us to the following:
1. its actaully really ****ing simple to see if she 'likes' you, as long as you dont over analyze it.
2. When she does something that to outsider say, she doesnt like you, DONT MAKE EXCUSES FOR HER, that SHE should make for herself.
3. why the hell would you want to be in a relationship where you have to be constantly "proving" yourself??? seriously wtf was i thinking???