I'm sorry if my last post was offensive to you. I was just trying to lighten things up and didn't mean anything like you need to wait until you get back to kill yourself. I get that life is hard and from the bits I've read, you have some very difficult things you're dealing with. I don't want you to hurt yourself or kill yourself. I wish I knew exactly what to say that would help, but I don't, so I'm just doing my best. Again, I'm sorry.
Okay.I wasn't offended by your post at all. I was just clarifying
thank youOkay.
To clarify a bit more: you said in the OP that things had been going okay, then came crashing down. To me, it sounds like these feelings and urges come and go for you. I'm getting that you have no control over them. Besides just trying to lighten things up, I was thinking that maybe if you had something you were looking forward to to focus on, it might help you to wait out the urges until they hopefully went away or at least lessened to the point that you could handle them. But I realize that maybe that's not what you need to get through. That's fine. I don't want to make things worse for you.
Hang in there.
I can't cut her out that's not an option
unless i want to be lving on the streets no it isn't. and i'd kill myself before i lived on the streets
I could get disability but that's a last resort and i'm not sure they'd even give me it