If I had a penny for every EN/SFJ that ends up in this situation.. I coulda sent this guy first class for you =D
Wow, ENFJ's are nice.
I have a former roommate, most likely XNTP, who technically owes me months of back rent. But you know, that was years ago.
Haha...bah...
Sparrow, you should only live with other ENFX!
I spent 4.5 years with an INTJ trying to be what he wanted (another INTJ), and I am unwilling to do that again.
Lol!!! Never again...unless it's for a really good friend <3 that isn't a complete low life and that doesn't have a history of house hopping!
So yea, inconsiderate people can really piss an idealist off lol.
Nice? More like dumb, hahaha just kidding . I barely knew the guy- It's a long story lol...lesson learned though.
Stage 1: NT meets NF. NF is enamoured of NT, falls head over heels. NT is characteristically cautious, but interested. NFs are fun, after all.
Stage 2: NF appreciates and admires many characteristics of the NT and thus begins to behave more like an NT, perhaps even fooling the NT into thinking s/he is an NT. NT then relaxes, figuring s/he's with a kindred spirit, gets more comfortable with the relationship, starts acting like normal NT self, expecting to be understood.
Stage 3: NF feels NT cooling off and wonders what s/he is doing wrong. Tries to be more like NT to compensate. This doesn't feel right. NF gets needy and/or begins to consider is her/his duty to draw the NT out of her/his shell, encouraging the NT to express all those feelings buried deep inside. NT doesn't get it.
Stage 4: NT feels pressure from NFs emotional demands, needs distance to figure things out. (This might be only INTs. I'm not sure.) NF panics, becomes more needy. NT withdraws more...NF needs more...and so on and so on.
Stage 5: NF suddenly realizes that the reason things aren't working is that the NT is cold and unfeeling or not nurturing or some other horrible thing. Abandons NT without looking back. (This is especially likely with the NFPs.) NT is confused and (sometimes) relieved
I did this when I was in college, and initially he promised me to stay for only one month but ending up being three months.
It didn't end well, of course. And we just ended up cutting ties, unfortunately.
Though the reason why I extended the time of staying with me has largely to do with feeling sorry for him, as he got kicked out by his Dad due to getting his g/f pregnant. *sigh*
Earth is destroyed. 4 horsemen ride off into the sunset.
The End.
Stage 1: NT meets NF. NF is enamoured of NT, falls head over heels. NT is characteristically cautious, but interested. NFs are fun, after all.
Stage 2: NF appreciates and admires many characteristics of the NT and thus begins to behave more like an NT, perhaps even fooling the NT into thinking s/he is an NT. NT then relaxes, figuring s/he's with a kindred spirit, gets more comfortable with the relationship, starts acting like normal NT self, expecting to be understood.
Stage 3: NF feels NT cooling off and wonders what s/he is doing wrong. Tries to be more like NT to compensate. This doesn't feel right. NF gets needy and/or begins to consider is her/his duty to draw the NT out of her/his shell, encouraging the NT to express all those feelings buried deep inside. NT doesn't get it.
Stage 4: NT feels pressure from NFs emotional demands, needs distance to figure things out. (This might be only INTs. I'm not sure.) NF panics, becomes more needy. NT withdraws more...NF needs more...and so on and so on.
Stage 5: NF suddenly realizes that the reason things aren't working is that the NT is cold and unfeeling or not nurturing or some other horrible thing. Abandons NT without looking back. (This is especially likely with the NFPs.) NT is confused and (sometimes) relieved
I like the twist, this is usually where NFs turn up useful and why NFs should not try to be NTs to generate NT 'like' I tend to like people being themselves rather than trying to impress me with 'me-ness' after all, I hear myself all the time; I didn't write the NT/NF death spiral however; you'll have to take that up with Adam.
Have I pissed any idealists off yet or do I need to start talking about how useless donating to charity is
No. I know deep inside their lurks a heart yearning for love and hugs and perhaps a kitten or two.
...or calling a disabled person "cripply"...
I only donate to charities after doing alot of research, so the charity kick wouldn't do it for this NF.
You've got to think large scale fi/fe violation. Like kicking a puppy, or calling a disabled person "cripply", or claiming that starving ethiopian children is all a hoax since they have swollen bellies.
Ethiopia famine aid 'spent on weapons' said:Millions of dollars in Western aid for victims of the Ethiopian famine of 1984-85 was siphoned off by rebels to buy weapons, a BBC investigation finds.
Former rebel leaders told the BBC that they posed as merchants in meetings with charity workers to get aid money.
They used the cash to fund attempts to overthrow the government of the time.
One rebel leader estimated $95m (£63m) - from Western governments and charities - was channelled into the rebel fight.
Caught out apparently, I should return to my pre-retirement level of rudeness then.
If you aren't providing satisfactory windup material for the NFs to indulge in then you are doing it wrong.
I only donate to charities after doing alot of research, so the charity kick wouldn't do it for this NF.
You've got to think large scale fi/fe violation. Like kicking a puppy, or calling a disabled person "cripply", or claiming that starving ethiopian children is all a hoax since they have swollen bellies.