She might not know how you feel or that you would feel empty when she talks about her boyfriend.
No, it's in general. She also has family problems and work problems. In the past I could listen to it without much issue, because I always felt a warmth and comfort around her. It's why I managed to remain friends with her even when I felt the friendship was so uneven. That warmth and comfort is now gone... even when we just small talk.
Whatever connection she had to my deeper side was sick for a long time, but I didn't realize it, and the events killed it off. Like I said, it wasn't just the fact that she found someone, as some hurt was inevitably going to come from that. It was the call on Christmas, the snide remarks, ringing my doorbell, still on the phone with her BF, going into the room I was in, and sweet talking with him for 5-10 minutes before hanging up and putting her attention to me, etc. It was the twisting of the knife...
I'm wondering if it is because she is overwhelmed with her problems with BF and his family. She sounds to me like she needs a counselor to talk to - someone who is not personally invested in her life but is reliable and available. In some ways, there is an element of that to how she seems to be approaching Udog. She is placing him in that kind of role, which is not quite right for a friendship, but suggests it is something she needs.
It's always sort of been my role, although it's less about advice and more about her needing someone to talk to to fully feel and understand her emotions. I might have offered unwanted advice (I didn't understand that Fe sometimes just needs to talk to understand what it's feeling), but I never judged her character. In fact, that she seemed to care about such things made me think more highly of her. I don't know how many people in her life did that did that for her...
I think it might be helpful to her if you told her the truth -- if you feel like being helpful one last time -- that you feel she only calls when she wants something, and that she doesn't fulfill the the obligations of friendship, only expects them from you. That your feelings were hurt when she took 2 weeks to return your phone call. That you're tired of talking about her upsets with bf and family. She might be very hurt/embarrassed, and you might have a couple rounds of arguing about it, but in the end, you could possibly save the friendship.
If she could make amends, would you be able to reconsider?
I'm going to tell a simplified and watered down version of the truth (if pressed, otherwise I'll keep it quick and informal). She needs to know this goes beyond events of the past 2 years, but she doesn't need it piled on.
Do you just not want the drama of dealing with a woman who is involved with another man?
It's more than that, although I won't deny that's a factor. Hopefully I explained it a bit better above.
Why do you ask?