Dang, you have potential !!!! What's your sign by the way? Just wondering if you're a fellow Aries. They say Casanova and Hugh Hefner are Aries.
So, I'm reading all of this crap and I'm wondering a few things.
Is this person real or is this just a lot of BS?
If this is actually real, is this a person who was hurt and taking it out on others or unsuccessful with women when he was younger and trying to make it up now by proving how desirable he is?
:rolli:
As an INTP how could you only care about several shallow, emotionally draining, sex driven relationships?
The long and confusing posts contain logic sweety, just look a little deeper and consider the dual meaning I intentionally add in. There are many possibilities so I do not fix myself into a particular framework because tomorrow I may make some adjustments depending on the weather, my mood, economics, look in the mirror and more.Maquix - Maybe I missed it in your long, confusing, and sometimes illogical posts, but could you give a straight yes or no answer as to WHETHER THEY KNOW AND ACCEPT THAT YOU ARE DATING OTHER WOMEN AT THE SAME TIME?
And you are SOOO ENTP.
You have your own house and live alone unless someone is sleeping over !lol how do you get any alone time doing this being an IN
Thats kinda the rub.
Push comes to shove we can juggle. In fact at one point juggling seems easier to us than committing heart and soul to one. Before we do it we think up a crazy strategy on how we can do it. Seduction is however one of the areas where you have to put in a substantial amount of time in the field to prove your theories.
After awhile it gets a bit tiring and a bit old so we alter the strategy and tactics up the anti and perhaps add another to spice it up on some level. Finally we either burn out or start neglecting other areas in life and simply bail out.
The hanger ons slowly stop calling and then we find ourselves alone. At first we don't care and enjoy it. After awhile we still don't care but get a little anxious because we are a little more rusty than we thought and the phone number jar is stale. We know if we actually wait to the point where we are desperate then we will be our own worst enemy in the field.
The game is not as easy when you have not worked your way into the eye of the storm. You look in the mirror and notice your not as pretty as the last round, yet you still see potential. You dust off your coat, review your notes, walk out the door, put on your game face and thus it begins again...slugish but slowly gaining momentum.
The man is also putting his heart out there. One thing I have noticed is that I'm not really the "have sex" guy. I have to make love in order to have any staying power and make it worthwhile, enjoyable and something I can allow to grow. I've told my mates this. That I'm not into having "sex" per se and need to make love.Okay. I wasn't specific enough. The guy knows the woman wants an exclusive relationship and a commitment, but she won't ask for what she wants because she lacks confidence, etc. The guy takes advantage of her insecurity/naivety by just doing hat he wants without regard for her feelings. It's selfish and unkind, IMO.
You really froze me with this one. But, I do have a quite logical response, really.As an INTP how could you only care about several shallow, emotionally draining, sex driven relationships?
The problem from my perspective is not that the women you are seeing want an exclusive relationship, nor that you want open relationships.The man is also putting his heart out there. One thing I have noticed is that I'm not really the "have sex" guy. I have to make love in order to have any staying power and make it worthwhile, enjoyable and something I can allow to grow. I've told my mates this. That I'm not into having "sex" per se and need to make love.
So the issue is this. How can I be selfish and unkind if I am also putting my feelings out there in this manner?
If in the heat moments I assure myself that I want this person in my life forever that maybe the case. Until something happens that makes me feel the contrary. Why should I have to keep an emotion that fades away just because? If I fall in love and feel the same with another person then maybe I just have a big heart and the capacity to love endlessly. I don't know, but I can tell you that I care about them dearly and on the contrary, feel very much like they are the selfish ones, especially when they seem like all they want is to possess me and feel like they have rights to decide what I do with my life when all the while I do not boss them around with theirs.
Yup I'm real. Actually not really surprised someone would say that.So, I'm reading all of this crap and I'm wondering a few things.
Is this person real or is this just a lot of BS?
If this is actually real, is this a person who was hurt and taking it out on others or unsuccessful with women when he was younger and trying to make it up now by proving how desirable he is?
:rolli:
The problem from my perspective is not that the women you are seeing want an exclusive relationship, nor that you want open relationships.
The problem is having an open relationship with someone that wants an exclusive relationship. If that is what you want, and you truly care about the women you involve yourself with, it seems to me that instead of seeing women who want exclusive relationships (and maybe a commitment and to eventually settle down together, I'm guessing) you would involve yourself with women who want open relationships.
There are women out there for whom the arrangement you are describing would be ideal, for instance if they are focused on their career and they don't have a lot of time to invest in a relationship or they already have the life they want well-established and a partner does not fit into that life.
Why not pursue women like that instead of women to whom you don't have the ability or the desire to provide the kind of relationship they want?
I agree. It surely beats being at home alone without surprise visits and all the excitement !
Well because that is how it all started
They said or implied that they didn't care for boyfriend/girlfriend stuff... marriage and the like. But things evolve you know. Think about. Do women really get into a relationship that does not have the possibilities to evolve into something more, later on down the road?
And it's not like I do not think the same. I actually wouldn't mind having this or that relationship last forever. Things can generally be pretty good when we keep the pressure on the pedal and cruise along. It's when relationships grow stale that adding spice to your life awakens everyone in the kitchen!
I don't know if women really get into relationships that have no possibility to evolve into something more down the road. It seems like a possibility. I think you could probably find some of them at INTP central.
I guess it's difficult to understand how, when a woman's expectations do change and she wants more, that you can just cruise along knowing you have no intentions of ever meeting those expectations, knowing that she is unhappy and wasting time in, what from her perspective is, a dead-end relationship. How can you be happy knowing that you are making a loved one unhappy for your own benefit? I could see if there were children or property or even politics involved. But the only thing truly at stake are emotions and pleasure and your good feelings are coming, for all intents and purposes, at her expense. So why would you not move on?
You want to make this about the woman wanting something that you find unreasonable, but it's not unreasonable and if it was, it wouldn't matter. You want what you want, you know? You want an open relationship. The woman no longer wants an open relationship. Why does what you want trump what she wants? If you can't give her what she wants then why continue?