Lol. It is an existential thing, I feel like I need to give my life some meaning. I don't feel ready to die, which I suppose is normal, but I think having children will be a step in the way of feeling like my existence here served its purpose. Also, I feel like parenting would make me a more mature person, more able to respect ignorance as a natural state (INTPs seem to suck at it). Generally speaking, well married people with kids are regarded as more trustworthy, which opens doors professionally. Finally, I think children would make a marriage much more likely to succeed (not a guarantee, ofc). I'd start thinking in terms of what is best for the whole family instead of what is best for me.
I tend to think you have to cultivate some of this BEFORE having kids or getting married though. I do understand how it forces you to think about someone other than yourself, but many people don't magically transform into a more selfless person upon having children or getting married - and then who suffers?
I think if you are in the mindset that these things are necessary and that you intend to do them, then that's a good thing. I mean, I think some people don't even contemplate this at all.
I wouldn't mind dating a guy who had a child of his own (at one point I was aiming to do so), provided the child was old enough not to need diaper changes or be prone to crying on a frequent basis. I have very little desire to produce any kiddies of my own, though. I'm not really a baby person--I view babies as being investments that don't start paying off until a few years have passed--and I'm not keen on contributing to the overpopulation problem or creating little clones of myself. My only regret, really, would be the loss of an opportunity to keep a tiny bit of myself living on after my death. I also wonder if there might be something in this mess of a genetic code that's worth passing on to future generations. I do like having family around, but, once again, I don't really like the idea of creating semi-likenesses of myself. As it is, I get about as much of myself as I can tolerate.
EDIT: I'm a male.
I tend to have this view of babies also. They're usually ugly and they really don't do anything, but they sure NEED a lot. Kids aren't interesting until they can talk, IMO, or at last move around and do silly stuff. The fact that I view them in terms of my own personal amusement shows I am not really interested in parenting.
The legacy thing is strange to me and something I notice men speak of more (and perhaps why naming a child after themselves and passing down their family name and material possessions seems more of a concern for men).
My interest in spawning would be in raising another human being to be as amazing as possible, which puts a whole lot of pressure on the kid and is probably more about my ego anyway. There may be some "vicarious living" going there, which is not all that different from securing "immortality" through another's life, but is more like creating meaning where you failed to do so on your own.
There is always that risk of your kid growing up and hating you no matter how good a parent you were. When I've seen that happen, and considering how many people bitch about their parents, it doesn't make me imagine parenthood is filled with reciprocal love. It really has to be unselfish, without any expectation that this other being will bring
anything to your life.