Ugh...I guess I should use the quote thing...
Really? How is it narcissistic to consider myself a speck upon a speck among specks and so on?
It's not. Actually doing this is a virtue called humility.
My purpose is to submit to the will of God so that after I die I can spend all eternity telling him how great he is? No thanks, hell for the company as they say.
Ummm...Sort of, kind of, not really. If you reach heaven you don't exactly just sit there with an old man spitting praises like a robot. I would agree, that would be torture. Heaven is often misunderstood as a place of forcefully praising God or you get thrown into hell. Heaven and hell are both choices and you freely choose one by your actions. Heaven is more rightly described as a place of pure bliss because each one in there knows the pure glory of God. It's not really a praise as a commandment, but a natural effect of awe, seeing the most beautiful thing in the world. Also heaven is a sense of completeness as God created us and He is our missing part.
The dispenser of purposes (God) is ignorant (doesn't know the africans are starving)? Sounds blasphemous.
Sorry, I guess I should have bolded the "just" part. I didn't say those who hand out purpose is ignorant, I said those who only "hand out purpose" is ignorant.
You're emphasizing determinism a bit much. The red pill isn't that bad, I feel better now than I ever did when I was a christian. And don't tell me I was the wrong kind of christian because you can't prove which version is true. I've tried, it's impossible.
Again sorry, I don't know what determinism is. I can't tell you that you are the "wrong kind of Christian" but I can kind of say that you didn't ever fully grasp the meaning of being a Christian. Maybe you did come to a point which fit you better as a person, but that maybe a point that you missed but exists in Christianity. I can't say because I unfortunately don't know you.
Read the book of Job lately?
Actually, no, but on the subject of suffering, it is allowed as a natural effect of sin. Suffering is also a means of good, not just bad. The world received salvation from suffering. Suffering is a means of purging, only bad in the sense that it only exists because evil exists.
Unless he is a Calvinist.
However, He is not. Though, the Church does allow a version of predestination which allows free will.
He has the power to end all this, that makes him an accessory at the very least.
Yes, He does, but He doesn't. Why? I don't know completely as it is a mystery. However, I do know that He allows suffering so that we ignorant beings don't suddenly decide that we are just alright by ourselves because we are not.
So God is the narcissistic jerk here? All this pain and suffering is so that in the end a minority of human souls will make it to heaven and worship God for eternity? What did he do to deserve all this praise at our expense?
God can't be said to be narcissistic because God is the definition of perfection and everything good. Yes in the end not everyone will make it to heaven, but that's not His fault, its ours. Yes He did know that some would disobey and it would bring around, but it is worth the happiness of His creatures. He deserves praise simply because He is, because He created us, and for our own happiness.
I never heard that in church.
That's a pity.
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Sorry, I can't say everything in here, and I'm not a theologian, but I'll answer what I can.