Pillows
New member
- Joined
- Nov 18, 2009
- Messages
- 9
- MBTI Type
- ESTP
I've always considered myself extremely good at reading people, but a certain ENTJ has stumped me! So I'm compelled to seek advice on my situation from the MBTI community in the hopes of understanding the motives that drive this type in relationships.
As far as cookie cutter type matches go, this is not it as I am an ESTP: enthusiastic and easy-going as they come. This particular ENTJ has definitely demonstrated the broad characteristics that seem to go with the package, i.e. tightly-checked emotions, workaholic schedule, really direct communication style (seriously, when I first met him I was wholly amazed at his total lack of charm ).
But the difference that separates us is intoxicating. I find his aura to be like gravity, it pulls me down from the insanity that is my mile-a-minute thought process and makes me reflect before I speak. Calming, yet stimulating at the same time.
So the situation I'm in, and the root of what's eating me is the the fact that he cheated on his girlfriend when we met, but we have since developed a consistent, yet casual relationship. The predictability is amusing, it's nearly clockwork every 10 days for the past 6 months. I've seen him following some tough emotional situations (death in the family) and to me, I feel like it gets a bit softer between us every time I see him, chipping the ice off bit by bit (myself included).
From what I've read, ENTJs aren't usually prone to casual relationships (or cheating?) I stay hopeful knowing how much he works and believing that he would have moved on by now if there was no potential. Is this completely irrational? I'd love to hear the relationship patterns of the ENTJs here, hopefully to gain some clarity on whether I'm fooling myself.
If there is potential for growth in this situation (although I hope so, I feel there's a good chance the odds are not in my favor) how can I move forward effectively?
I haven't said a word about future, expectations, or anything else that is usually scary...but I keep wondering, should I? I've become content to just continue enjoying things in the hopes of bringing his guard down...My patience is iron-clad when I fixate on getting something, but is patience what pays off with ENTJs? Where do I go from here?
As far as cookie cutter type matches go, this is not it as I am an ESTP: enthusiastic and easy-going as they come. This particular ENTJ has definitely demonstrated the broad characteristics that seem to go with the package, i.e. tightly-checked emotions, workaholic schedule, really direct communication style (seriously, when I first met him I was wholly amazed at his total lack of charm ).
But the difference that separates us is intoxicating. I find his aura to be like gravity, it pulls me down from the insanity that is my mile-a-minute thought process and makes me reflect before I speak. Calming, yet stimulating at the same time.
So the situation I'm in, and the root of what's eating me is the the fact that he cheated on his girlfriend when we met, but we have since developed a consistent, yet casual relationship. The predictability is amusing, it's nearly clockwork every 10 days for the past 6 months. I've seen him following some tough emotional situations (death in the family) and to me, I feel like it gets a bit softer between us every time I see him, chipping the ice off bit by bit (myself included).
From what I've read, ENTJs aren't usually prone to casual relationships (or cheating?) I stay hopeful knowing how much he works and believing that he would have moved on by now if there was no potential. Is this completely irrational? I'd love to hear the relationship patterns of the ENTJs here, hopefully to gain some clarity on whether I'm fooling myself.
If there is potential for growth in this situation (although I hope so, I feel there's a good chance the odds are not in my favor) how can I move forward effectively?
I haven't said a word about future, expectations, or anything else that is usually scary...but I keep wondering, should I? I've become content to just continue enjoying things in the hopes of bringing his guard down...My patience is iron-clad when I fixate on getting something, but is patience what pays off with ENTJs? Where do I go from here?