Kho
please let prayer be true
- Joined
- Apr 26, 2016
- Messages
- 147
- MBTI Type
- INxP
- Enneagram
- 4w5
- Instinctual Variant
- sx
So this is from an INTP perspective, trying to figure out my parents, who are both INFJ.
And I'm asking random INFJ's because if I ask my parents outright, they will explode or cry and I just cannot deal.
I'm trying to figure out if it's an INFJ thing, or if it's a personality disorder thing, or if it's a cultural/generational/religious/whatever thing.
Right so here we go.
I want to ask INFJ's to help me understand why my parents:
- Not only refuse to allow their twenty-something-year-old daughter move out of the house, but
- Harass me at work, calling constantly and waiting outside the workplace, when I try to move out on my own terms
- Cry and scream about my leaving the house with mismatched-colored socks (literally, if I wear something that's not 'normal' to them, they slap me until I give in.)
- Send me thousands, I mean literally thousands, of texts a week, until I give in and come back 'home'
- Yell and kick in the door when I sleep in on a Sunday until 12pm
- Cry and yell for literally hours (10 hours is the longest the noise has gone on for...) when I say I'm not going to their church
- Hit me and break the music equipment that I borrowed from a friend
- Never ever let me stay the night at someone else's place.
It used to be worse when I was a kid.
I've dealt with this for all of my life, so the other stuff is just background noise at the moment, but as an INTP, the thing that annoys me most is...
Yelling at me for not sleeping at night/ not being 'regular' like the other 'kids'(I'm over twenty...)/ breaking my stuff.
I mean I 'ran away from home' and dropped all contact for months after they broke my stuff, but
when my grandmother passed away and stuff I couldn't NOT attend her funeral, and I had to move back in for *reasons*
(they threatened stuff and harassed my friends/work, I got pretty sick from the stress, etc.)
I feel pretty trapped here right now
But anyway,
So, the thing that bugs me mainly is, like this morning for example,
I mean
Why is it anyone else's business when I go to sleep and when I wake in the morning?
This is the part I really don't understand. I mean I can wrap my head around the rest, like they associate music with demons, okay, but.
I don't give a shit if someone else sleeps ten out of twenty four hours. How does that kind of thing make you angry? Is it an INFJ thing, really?
So INFJ's, let me ask you, are you annoyed when your children/ people you know ... don't keep a regular schedule?
Like, does it anger you to the point of explosion?
Is 'being normal' a thing to fixate upon for you? Is regulating/keeping control in your home environment so very important to you?
Do you fixate upon people that really don't fit into your ideal harmonious life situation and keep trying to make it work even when they really really really hate you and sincerely want to leave?
Or can you tell me why it might be that you'd feel this way?
And how can I resolve this? Do you think my inability to emotionally connect with them on that Fi level has something to do with it?
Like maybe they love me but are exasperated because they think I can't love them back or something?
These people are like seriously obsessed with me.
But seriously. I'd appreciate any help or whatever.
And I'm asking random INFJ's because if I ask my parents outright, they will explode or cry and I just cannot deal.
I'm trying to figure out if it's an INFJ thing, or if it's a personality disorder thing, or if it's a cultural/generational/religious/whatever thing.
Right so here we go.
I want to ask INFJ's to help me understand why my parents:
- Not only refuse to allow their twenty-something-year-old daughter move out of the house, but
- Harass me at work, calling constantly and waiting outside the workplace, when I try to move out on my own terms
- Cry and scream about my leaving the house with mismatched-colored socks (literally, if I wear something that's not 'normal' to them, they slap me until I give in.)
- Send me thousands, I mean literally thousands, of texts a week, until I give in and come back 'home'
- Yell and kick in the door when I sleep in on a Sunday until 12pm
- Cry and yell for literally hours (10 hours is the longest the noise has gone on for...) when I say I'm not going to their church
- Hit me and break the music equipment that I borrowed from a friend
- Never ever let me stay the night at someone else's place.
It used to be worse when I was a kid.
I've dealt with this for all of my life, so the other stuff is just background noise at the moment, but as an INTP, the thing that annoys me most is...
Yelling at me for not sleeping at night/ not being 'regular' like the other 'kids'(I'm over twenty...)/ breaking my stuff.
I mean I 'ran away from home' and dropped all contact for months after they broke my stuff, but
when my grandmother passed away and stuff I couldn't NOT attend her funeral, and I had to move back in for *reasons*
(they threatened stuff and harassed my friends/work, I got pretty sick from the stress, etc.)
I feel pretty trapped here right now
But anyway,
So, the thing that bugs me mainly is, like this morning for example,
I mean
Why is it anyone else's business when I go to sleep and when I wake in the morning?
This is the part I really don't understand. I mean I can wrap my head around the rest, like they associate music with demons, okay, but.
I don't give a shit if someone else sleeps ten out of twenty four hours. How does that kind of thing make you angry? Is it an INFJ thing, really?
So INFJ's, let me ask you, are you annoyed when your children/ people you know ... don't keep a regular schedule?
Like, does it anger you to the point of explosion?
Is 'being normal' a thing to fixate upon for you? Is regulating/keeping control in your home environment so very important to you?
Do you fixate upon people that really don't fit into your ideal harmonious life situation and keep trying to make it work even when they really really really hate you and sincerely want to leave?
Or can you tell me why it might be that you'd feel this way?
And how can I resolve this? Do you think my inability to emotionally connect with them on that Fi level has something to do with it?
Like maybe they love me but are exasperated because they think I can't love them back or something?
These people are like seriously obsessed with me.
But seriously. I'd appreciate any help or whatever.