I have been really watching my wife(ENFJ) and how she interacts and I am really starting to understand Fe and what it is. Fe is the ability to drive emotions into others. If you hurt them they are experts at making you feel bad. Its like they drive feelings in you to try to make you want to do something, not always something for you, but to kinda light a fire under your ass. The things is that they go for feeling, but stop at that, there is no making it up to Fi or with Si. With my wife she goes for making me feel bad, but wont allow me to do anything to make it up, because she wants me to do what I want to do. Its like I just want you to feel this way about what you did, but I wants you to continue to do it anyway because thats what you wanted to do.
Its like they blow up because of something but wont actually put there foot down and physically take control of a situation. Hopefully this does not offend any ENFJ/INFJ types. It is just what I have seen.
haha. she sounds so enfj. my neighbor is enfj. i have to take her in small doses. she is the neighborhood watchdog. not that they all are, mind you. but definitely multi-tasker extraordinaire.
maybe she just wants to vent and make you understand what she's feeling? my istp husband can't help but try to jump right to fixing it. he gets what i'm saying before i'm done ranting, and has already used his Ti to come up with a solution. so when i stop to take a breath, he switches in to solution mode. but i don't want him to fix it. i want him to simply understand and validate. that's it. i can fix it myself after i vent it. after i vent it, i can move to understand it. all i want from him is to actively listen.
So tell us the essence of it. I'd love to hear from Fe-users how they experience Fe, how they apply it, how it is part of them, what makes you use it, why do you rely on it and how, what the depth of Fe is and how you experience that depth, how it makes you as a person feel to use it etc.
i can try. i am an aux Fe and i'm still fairly new to mbti. i just focus on people. my focus is people and i notice their body language so i can tell how they are feeling. i subconsciously take in their inflection or tone to clue me in to how they might be feeling. what they say means something and i while i might forget or not hear details of what someone is saying, i am taking the essence of them in on a deeper level and just feeling them almost. i don't know why i use it. by now, i am used to how it feels. i align myself with the person i am speaking with, or interacting with, and i focus all of my energy on them. i can completely tune everything else out, and do. i notice nothing else. you have my complete attention, when i am at my norm or best, that is. it is very trustworthy for me, but sometimes i can use intuition too loosely and make false assumptions with Fe. i feel it very deeply. i use Te too (aux/tert) but it feels efficient and methodical and tiring. using Fe feels intense and personal. i am fatigued after spending a few hours with someone one-on-one. even in a crowd i single someone out for one-on-one conversation because i hate small talk.
i can manipulate with it, sometimes unintentionally. sometimes i can think i know better than someone what they need, especially someone not in tune with their feelings/emotions. then i can use Fe subtley to manipulate someone into a course of action. i didn't really know i did this until i thought about it after i discovered the Fe function and reading about it on here. i try not to do this anymore, but it can be almost a habit sometimes. not majorly, but in little ways.
Somehow I get the feeling that Fe is like how I act when I'm a bit drunk- I respond nicely and socialize in an active and friendly way, but I don't actually care (in a personal sense) about the other person. Meaning, I like them just fine in the context in which we are conversing, and I respect them as people, but I just don't really care about them on a deeper level. Not that I might not care about them on a deeper, more personal level in the future, or that I don't think that they deserve that kind of caring, but I just don't care about them like that at the moment. Yet, that doesn't stop me from engaging in some pretty wonderful conversations and interaction.
this is insightful and you get an A for effort but i don't recognize this as Fe, for me, at all. i absolutely care, and i care intensely in that moment. my whole world in that moment is that one other person and as long as they are talking about something real, i am immensely into it and them, but if it's too much work, or they are small-talkers, i'm gonna be nice but go find someone more interesting to talk to.