marmandahalf
New member
- Joined
- Apr 5, 2009
- Messages
- 233
Do any other ENTPs get some strange pleasure out of artistically sabotaging relationships? Or is that just a general dysfunction thing?
Do any other ENTPs get some strange pleasure out of artistically sabotaging relationships? Or is that just a general dysfunction thing?
Do any other ENTPs get some strange pleasure out of artistically sabotaging relationships? Or is that just a general dysfunction thing?
i talked a buddy into liking another buddy's possible gf once cuz i was bored....never ever again
Well, I have noticed when I begin a relationship that I tend to "test" people. I think it's because I am so guarded and cautious that I want to make sure someone really cares about me. This might seem like sabotage.
Self-sabotage. I know a thing or two about it. My friends always comment on my choice of romantic partners, and the lack of cohesion or pattern in my choices. They say that I piss in the gene pool quite frequently. In a way, they are correct because I never set out looking for the perfect mate, in my mind he doesn't exist. I don't even actively look for partners, it never crosses my mind to do so. I've always felt I was destined to single, and I've always been completely fine with that. Life is good either way.
I fill up my days hanging around people who *interest* me. But the problem is that pretty much everyone on the planet is interesting to me in some way. I chat with everyone from the cop to the robber, equally fascinated by both. So, as I explore humankind, I tend to fall into relationships with those who simply declare themselves to be my boyfriend. I guess after a certain amount of time has passed, and I'm still hanging around, they feel that this is the next logical step or something. It's the only thing I'm pretty passive about in life. In another thread, I've equated it with being clubbed over the head and dragged back to the cave. I usually get stunned at first, then the lack of oxygen makes me drift into sleepy acceptance for a while. After a few months I slowly process what just happened, panic, then I furiously gnaw at my own foot in order to escape the trap.
It doesn't matter if said person is in fact the perfect choice for me, the point is I feel trapped since I never made the active decision to be in that relationship. And then the need to escape becomes overwhelming, if only on principle alone.
Well, I have noticed when I begin a relationship that I tend to "test" people. I think it's because I am so guarded and cautious that I want to make sure someone really cares about me. This might seem like sabotage.
LifeExplore said:During this period, ENTPs explore the closeness until they can be certain that they have looked at all of the possibilities. Because of this, they are not likely to settle down early. When they do become involved in a relationship, they generally want to maintain as much independence and freedom as their loved one can tolerate. Their mates may need to have high self-esteem and to be independent themselves in order to accept the ENTP need for freedom and novelty.
Self-sabotage. I know a thing or two about it. My friends always comment on my choice of romantic partners, and the lack of cohesion or pattern in my choices. They say that I piss in the gene pool quite frequently. In a way, they are correct because I never set out looking for the perfect mate, in my mind he doesn't exist. I don't even actively look for partners, it never crosses my mind to do so. I've always felt I was destined to single, and I've always been completely fine with that. Life is good either way.
I fill up my days hanging around people who *interest* me. But the problem is that pretty much everyone on the planet is interesting to me in some way. I chat with everyone from the cop to the robber, equally fascinated by both. So, as I explore humankind, I tend to fall into relationships with those who simply declare themselves to be my boyfriend. I guess after a certain amount of time has passed, and I'm still hanging around, they feel that this is the next logical step or something. It's the only thing I'm pretty passive about in life. In another thread, I've equated it with being clubbed over the head and dragged back to the cave. I usually get stunned at first, then the lack of oxygen makes me drift into sleepy acceptance for a while. After a few months I slowly process what just happened, panic, then I furiously gnaw at my own foot in order to escape the trap.
It doesn't matter if said person is in fact the perfect choice for me, the point is I feel trapped since I never made the active decision to be in that relationship. And then the need to escape becomes overwhelming, if only on principle alone.
Yeah Femme, that's what I was getting at. Very well said.
Relationships don't feel free when I wake up and find myself trapped in one. If there was someone who would let me dip my toe in the water - slowly and consciously - and allow me to ease in at my own very slow pace... If a man really really could handle me getting out occasionally and let me dive back in again, then I would be in heaven. But that's never been the case, even if I promise not to swim anywhere else in the interim. Possessiveness is the biggest, ugliest turn off for me. I don't think anyone should ever try to own another human being. And that's what it feels like, even if that's not the intent.
...and shit.
I've stopped going after people for serious relationships a long time ago. But good to know that there is a potential type that could appreciate my temperament - just don't know if I'd feel the same way about theirs. I can be such an ass sometimes.