I care way too much about what others think. Somewhere along the line, I got the idea that if I offended people, they might choose to leave me. Living that way doesn't make me happy, though; I can tell because I used to have this fantasy of flipping off those who told me to do what I didn't want to. I'm repeating myself from my info dump, but I've realized that I'll never be happy trying to not offend everyone else. I also have to watch the superiority complex. I like feeling above people, or rather, people feeling I am above them.
Identity... That's a rather sticky question. It must matter to some degree, seeing as how I'm trying to recover mine.
I think your heart-fix is 2. Neglecting your own needs in favor of being there for others usually creates an inner conflict for 2s. I've noticed many of them have a love-hate -relationship with helping other people and they wish they could stop caring about others so much, because they know how much they repress their own needs and desires. Avoiding offending others (and thus creating conflict) and the fear of others leaving you can also point towards 9.
All the compliant types (1, 2, 6) have a sense of being superior to others, but this is usually subtle. 2s feel superior when they feel others are dependent on them, but they are likely to deny wanting to be superior. The superiority complex you mentioned may have something to do with this and 2's connection to 8 (when they feel they are being taken for granted, they start controlling others).
Trying to recover your identity makes me think of 9. Nines have a vague sense of self. Have you read anything about the unhealthy levels of nine? Nines lose touch with themselves and become numb and apathetic when they are unhealthy.
I'm fairly impatient and prone to flash-like tantrums (after the problem is solved, I tend to feel bad for erupting).
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I'm pretty affectionate if I feel comfortable enough around someone and am sure they won't react badly. I prefer people to whom I can communicate my feelings toward them without scaring them off. I'm also physically affectionate, though more so on the internet.
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Speaking of friends and possessions... I'm extremely possessive and quite territorial. My criterion for "mine" tends to be whether I like him/her/it. I feel like I need to ease off on it; it should be OK if my friends have closer friends, or if girls flirt with the guy I like (and am not dating).
This seems pretty 9w8-ish. (though 6s can throw temper tantrums too, but the way you described them as flash-like is more typical for 9s) 8s tend to see their anger as justified, while 9w8s are more prone to feel guilty about it afterwards, though I could imagine 8w9 being this way.
9w8s are also described as physically affectionate and sensual. They can be protective and possessive of their loved ones and feel jealousy, especially if they feel they are being cut off or excluded from others. 8s and 6s can also be pretty possessive.
8 is hit and miss. I'm not driven; I am horribly unmotivated. I don't meet problems head on; I bury my head in the sand and hope they go away. I'm not excessively pragmatic..
This definitely sounds like a 9-thing, conflict-avoidance (denying problems) and searching for the inner energy to take action is essential for nines. Nines become more driven and motivated when they integrate to 3.
I think 8s are more active doers and while 9s can seem very active, they tend to put off the most important tasks and do more secondary activities (e.g. cleaning, work) to keep their minds off the things they
really want to do for themselves to improve their life, because they are out of touch with their instinctual energies. Eights seem to go after what they want. Nines don't always even know what they want.
Maybe you are 9w8-6-2w3. I could also see 8w9. They seem more introverted and calmer than 8w7s.
This page has pretty good wing descriptions. I think you could compare these two profiles:
eights &
nines, especially the bits about the passion, stress & levels of development.