"If you act happy...you are happy. If you act happy in no way are you exerting yourself in a meaningful way or doing something with thought or purpose that has great value. So much of what we do goes unnoticed I think"
^^^ This..also people automatically think your always Just's miss ducking sunshine, and when you need to recharge they ask "what's wrong?" "Your not yourself" they have no idea how Much energy is needed to light up the room and how exausting it can be to feed sparkle dust to other people. It's like people feel like your letting them down if your not lighting shit up.
But I will tell you when I am lighting up a room or my sparkle is on full blast, I feel like no one is as alive in that moment as I am.
the only thing I've ever attracted to myself is moths, people who are drawn to the sparkle instinctually but end up not knowing what to do with it when they encounter it, and trying to change that, oh and to sparkle just for me not for everyone else's "amusement" as they seem to think we are the entertainment. I'm not obligated to make your experience a positive one. ☄ï¸ðŸŒŸâœ¨
Okay...the way I thought this was going to go down is that I would be the one telling you this stuff... (Is that little blue icon a tampon applicator? The awesomeness of Life being regenerated for me is kinda riding on that being the case.)
I can't get medical doctors to believe there's something wrong with me when there is. When I was a little girl I was sent home with a broken bone...pneumonia that almost ended up killing me...all kinds of childhood illnesses... and the reasoning was always "trust me, *if* she had X problem she would be screaming or crying...but look at her...she seems just fine to me." <-So yah...if I have a broken bone and am unable to get that bit of info across to a doctor... You definitely know I'm lying my ass off and there's actually some huge problem that I'm hiding if I tell regular folk I don't feel up for coffee.
I know you want someone to love you for your shine because the shine ultimately represents a better way of life we believe and we want tons more people on-board. If you like the shine you are now simultaneously liking the entire philosophy... Eat dessert first; Life is uncertain. The problem is...is that philosophies attract...people that are lost...people that expect you to make the world okay for them...people that are sick...people that are dependent on the shine always shining because it reminds them of the philosophy...moths...
^^I understood none of this prior to being pushed over the edge and returning with "From now on I'm shining like a bitch."
Do not extinguish yourself...but do not allow it to be your romantic yardstick.