This is dangerous I think. Once you realize you may be sending a signal it kind of falls back to you to reconsider how you choose to send that signal and how the respondee may take it. It may be all about intentions and the realization you are acting this way.
I hear ya, sister. I flirt with everyone. Everyone. I call it flirting now because I have been accused of it for so long and that's the word people understand, but in my head I'm just being friendly. I find nothing sexual about being friendly. My cousin (male) took me to dinner with a male friend of his. I had never met this man before and he worked in a profession I was interested in. So, being my curious self, I was asking him questions all night. After dinner he left and my cousin asked if he should set me up with that guy - since I was flirting with him the whole night. I was so baffled by that.
On the way home on the subway, an elderly lady sat down next to me and asked me about directions. She seemed so sweet and we started talking. She told me about her children and her living through all different hardships. When she got off the train, my cousin said "nevermind, I get it now. you look people in the eye intensely and pay attention them. I guess people rarely look directly in my eyes, so when they do, it feels like flirting"
When I am actually flirting, I am aware of it and it feels so purposeful and sexual and it involves my whole body. It is in a completely different style from what I just described. And I don't do that often.
I think 50% of it is intention (of the "flirter") and the other 50% of it is in the perception (of the "flirtee"). That being said, I am now conscious of how much eye contact I make with people and look away more often, even though it feels awkward and unnatural to do so.