jenocyde
half mystic, half skeksis
- Joined
- Jan 2, 2009
- Messages
- 6,387
- MBTI Type
- ENTP
- Enneagram
- 7w8
I've been trying to understand my own objections. And I think it comes down to this. The function of flirtatious behaviour in human society is broadly the same as that of courtship behaviour in lower animals - it signals sexual availability/desirability, and helps with pair-bonding.
I guess it's the dishonesty of falsely signaling sexual availability that bothers me. If you tell someone you're taken, but you *signal* availability. You are sending out mixed messages. And we all know 90% of communication is non-verbal.
I used to be paranoid about not sending out the wrong signals and so avoided anything that might be construed as flirtatious either in dress or behaviour. That's pretty boring though and cramps one's style too severely. But INTPs are pretty unavailable people in most respects. I don't like making a display of myself for the attention of random people and I don't want to pretend to be available when I'm not. So I don't really understand that impulse. ENFPs are much happier about putting on a show - you only have to look at all the self-avatars and photos posted here, as well as the expansive and animated way that they use language/emoticons/gestures to see that.
They are just naturally "skilled" at this kind of courtship display, but the appropriateness of the context is sometimes lost on them.
What you just wrote implies that you want to transcend your species. That's fine, but it has nothing to do with T or F. You say "they" put on a display, they could say that you are repressed and refuse to accept that you are also human (an animal - no such thing as "lower" or "higher", imo). Just because we can rationalize biological impulse doesn't mean we can avoid it. We understand menstruation, but we still have to do it, whether we will it that way or not. We are animals, too.