The reason why it seems so clear-cut to me is because I always know how I feel that far into a relationship. Either it clicks or it doesn't, and if I were to say that I don't feel what I should feel in a relationship, there's no connection, I would mean EXACTLY THAT. To me that means there isn't anything real or intimate going on, that it's been fun, you're a nice guy, but we're not "in love" though I may like you or care about you.
As a person who has almost compulsively sought intimacy in her life, even if I am not an ENFP (and this should probably clear up people thinking that I am, that I am not as sympathetic as the ENFP females in this thread seem to be, so likely not) ...if I said those words, it would amount to "I am not feeling it. We have not established the bond we should have, physically mentally or emotionally."
To me it seems pretty simple, and in the ENFP-INTJ thread, [MENTION=6166]Orobas[/MENTION] said the other day something about an ENFP girl stringing along a guy she really had no interest in, and how she thought he was a tortured INTJ, and the ENFP had a bf, but she kept "leaving the door open" for "possibilities."
That's a bunch of fucking shit and it hurts people, okay? So she shouldn't be kissing him after she made a declaration like that. I disagree with [MENTION=6561]OrangeAppled[/MENTION] that she's "over empathizing." If she really had empathy, she'd turn him loose instead of being so selfish about being perceived as "nice" or whatever the fuck, or leaving the door open just in case she can't find a solid replacement soon enough.
That is honestly the way I view the situation. You know guys, ENFPs have flaws just like every other type, they aren't perfect people, and stringing people along opportunistically under a facade of kindness could potentially be one of them.
It's selfish. It's not kind. Kind is being forthright and honest, and letting him go. This is the kind of thing people do when they have trepidation about losing their cash cow or their regular date, what someone might do when afraid of being alone, not because they actually aren't sure they love the person.
Maybe I'm more sure of my feelings than an ENFP. Who knows. Maybe that points to Fi dom over Fi aux for me.