deanmartin12345
New member
- Joined
- Mar 31, 2013
- Messages
- 4
- MBTI Type
- ESTP
I have been dating this ENFP girl for about 6 months. I am an ESTP. She's pretty typical ENFP - easily distracted, has a hard time following through on things she's into because there are too many possiblities, her head is very much in the clouds and not necessarily paying attention to things like rules, details, etc. She is extremely smart though, charming & charismatic, funny, and super social. Like at a bar she'll run around and talk to everyone. She gets easily distracted by sparkly things.
We got together about 6 months ago in September and then in November she asked me to be her boyfriend. We are both 24. She tends to be idealistic in relationships - like on Valentine's Day when I got her a gift, she told me how much she loved it and how I'm totally the best. She'd often say things like that. She's a very sensitive person as well but is pretty openly sexually liberated (the relationship moved pretty fast in that sense when we first met). We told each other I love you about a week before Valentine's Day. Since then we would say it to each other unprompted. We always did fun stuff together and had a great time. Before I left town for 10 days, nothing seemed wrong.
However, when I was out of town out of the blue she sent me an email telling me that she wanted to end it because she's just not feeling the emotions she needs to feel in a relationship. I was surprised because the week before when I was still gone, she had called me out of the blue and told me "I love you, I miss you, and I'll see you when you are back". But then I got that email one week later. She told me that I'm an awesome, fun person to be around (she has never been bored with me) but that she doesn't feel the deep connection she wants to. Like that we aren't creating a world together, we don't have the kind of love that can transcend her problems, and she doesn't feel the same way about me when I am with her as when I am not.
She also mentioned that she doesn't feel like we spend enough time together (which I told her I am more than happy to do), that she feels like her simple dreams of being a teacher are not compatible with my dreams of doing amazing things and that she isn't sure if the reasons I like her are good enough - she keeps saying I could like anyone for those reasons. She also says that she feels self conscious around me. I told her that I'd love to spend more time with her but breaking up seems to be the wrong way to do that and that she can tell me anything so she shouldn't feel self conscious around me. She has also told me that she's not even sure if she should be in a relationship right now because her life is a little up in the air in August and so she's not sure if it's the best thing for her right now. Also, she has really disliked her job ever since I've met her. Finally she's taking steps towards getting a new one and leave soon. I feel like part of her feels that she may need time to work on herself and get through this before being in a relationship.
I've met with her twice since she sent that email and every time at the end of the conversation we kiss and she says she's going to think about continuing it. I also randomly bumped into her a few days ago and we had a great 30 minute conversation and touched but it doens't really feel resolved. Do any other ENFP's have any idea what is going on/what she is feeling? Or why she could change so quickly? Or if it is worth it to try to keep it alive? She seems a bit confused to me. Thank you.
We got together about 6 months ago in September and then in November she asked me to be her boyfriend. We are both 24. She tends to be idealistic in relationships - like on Valentine's Day when I got her a gift, she told me how much she loved it and how I'm totally the best. She'd often say things like that. She's a very sensitive person as well but is pretty openly sexually liberated (the relationship moved pretty fast in that sense when we first met). We told each other I love you about a week before Valentine's Day. Since then we would say it to each other unprompted. We always did fun stuff together and had a great time. Before I left town for 10 days, nothing seemed wrong.
However, when I was out of town out of the blue she sent me an email telling me that she wanted to end it because she's just not feeling the emotions she needs to feel in a relationship. I was surprised because the week before when I was still gone, she had called me out of the blue and told me "I love you, I miss you, and I'll see you when you are back". But then I got that email one week later. She told me that I'm an awesome, fun person to be around (she has never been bored with me) but that she doesn't feel the deep connection she wants to. Like that we aren't creating a world together, we don't have the kind of love that can transcend her problems, and she doesn't feel the same way about me when I am with her as when I am not.
She also mentioned that she doesn't feel like we spend enough time together (which I told her I am more than happy to do), that she feels like her simple dreams of being a teacher are not compatible with my dreams of doing amazing things and that she isn't sure if the reasons I like her are good enough - she keeps saying I could like anyone for those reasons. She also says that she feels self conscious around me. I told her that I'd love to spend more time with her but breaking up seems to be the wrong way to do that and that she can tell me anything so she shouldn't feel self conscious around me. She has also told me that she's not even sure if she should be in a relationship right now because her life is a little up in the air in August and so she's not sure if it's the best thing for her right now. Also, she has really disliked her job ever since I've met her. Finally she's taking steps towards getting a new one and leave soon. I feel like part of her feels that she may need time to work on herself and get through this before being in a relationship.
I've met with her twice since she sent that email and every time at the end of the conversation we kiss and she says she's going to think about continuing it. I also randomly bumped into her a few days ago and we had a great 30 minute conversation and touched but it doens't really feel resolved. Do any other ENFP's have any idea what is going on/what she is feeling? Or why she could change so quickly? Or if it is worth it to try to keep it alive? She seems a bit confused to me. Thank you.