So I recently had a major blow out with an ENFP that I went to visit. It's a long story, and I'll tell it if you like, but I would be appreciative of any general insight into where he was coming from.
Basically, we'd dated before. He moved and we stopped talking for a while. We got back in contact and he asked me to visit. I went. We made it through 2 nights and a day. The short version is that we ended up hooking up the first night. We hung out the next day and everything seemed fine. He was showing me around and making plans for the rest of my stay. Then that night the girl he was casually seeing ended up in the group of us that went out. I was really uncomfortable and felt like he should've been making it better. Instead he was kind of letting her crawl all over him. I can mask my feelings pretty well, but after a couple of drinks all bets are off. I was tearful and should've gone home but I didn't think it was fair that I should be the one sitting alone all night, so I stayed. His friends kind of figured out what was up, and I actually talked for a while to his (platonic) girl friend about the situation. She told me he's just not that nice to girls.
I got over it by the end of the night. He got more furious as the night went on, I'm guessing it was because his friends were all paying a lot more attention to me than they were to him. The next day he told me to leave. He also started spouting all this stuff about how horrible I am, how manipulative I am, how he never had feelings for me in the first place and he'd never wanted me to come. I made him uncomfortable. I made everyone miserable, blah blah blah. Later he apologized and told me he felt backed into a corner, but there's really no taking stuff like that back. He also said that I'd made him more anxious than anyone he'd ever met. I tried to converse with him rationally ie. not yelling, reminding him that he'd invited me and I gave him several opportunities to change his mind, but it almost seemed to make the situation worse. What the hell? Should I take all that stuff he said seriously? I'm pretty good at picking up vibes from others, and I really didn't sense anything was amiss prior to the drama that night. It just all doesn't seem to add up. And I am aware of the fact that he could just be a douchebag. Any thoughts?
Basically, we'd dated before. He moved and we stopped talking for a while. We got back in contact and he asked me to visit. I went. We made it through 2 nights and a day. The short version is that we ended up hooking up the first night. We hung out the next day and everything seemed fine. He was showing me around and making plans for the rest of my stay. Then that night the girl he was casually seeing ended up in the group of us that went out. I was really uncomfortable and felt like he should've been making it better. Instead he was kind of letting her crawl all over him. I can mask my feelings pretty well, but after a couple of drinks all bets are off. I was tearful and should've gone home but I didn't think it was fair that I should be the one sitting alone all night, so I stayed. His friends kind of figured out what was up, and I actually talked for a while to his (platonic) girl friend about the situation. She told me he's just not that nice to girls.
I got over it by the end of the night. He got more furious as the night went on, I'm guessing it was because his friends were all paying a lot more attention to me than they were to him. The next day he told me to leave. He also started spouting all this stuff about how horrible I am, how manipulative I am, how he never had feelings for me in the first place and he'd never wanted me to come. I made him uncomfortable. I made everyone miserable, blah blah blah. Later he apologized and told me he felt backed into a corner, but there's really no taking stuff like that back. He also said that I'd made him more anxious than anyone he'd ever met. I tried to converse with him rationally ie. not yelling, reminding him that he'd invited me and I gave him several opportunities to change his mind, but it almost seemed to make the situation worse. What the hell? Should I take all that stuff he said seriously? I'm pretty good at picking up vibes from others, and I really didn't sense anything was amiss prior to the drama that night. It just all doesn't seem to add up. And I am aware of the fact that he could just be a douchebag. Any thoughts?
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