My inner life seems to be spent discerning "what's really going here". In the past this has been problematic. I've been surrounded by S's who are much more literal my entire life. I have no Intuitive friends IRL and get my "N-action" here. I take very little in life at face value as it's presented to me. I have voiced what I was thinking many times and gotten the response "you are reading too much into this/that" or "wow that was really deep" when I didn't think it had much depth at all. I trust my Ni without doubt generally much more than my feelings.
I must test it. If the theory cannot be given an application or tested for it's validity in the realm of people I will generally disregard it. I am not going to type out a huge example (yes I'm lazy!) of this but I will give a brief one.
Those are really spot on for the most part. Its difficult sometimes having a brain that's constantly judging & then questioning those judgments in an almost self-critical fashion. Everything must be tested. I'm way too blunt because Fe helps me sort out my feelings on judgments, even if I haven't really decided they are solid. That can get me into trouble big time (getting better at that with age). Most assumptions, however, are never spoken or are dropped before they are concluded. (This makes associating with IxTP types extremely difficult because they never give enough to conclude judgments so you feel like your stuck in a loop of judging them, then yourself for doing so, but never coming to conclusions.)
If I come to a conclusion about something (like '
why someone is doing something'), I usually don't voice it. If it makes me want to act, or if I want the person to understand it, I use it in my head to come up with the colors of my dialogue / actions towards them that might bring them to realize it for themselves. Its actually easier for me to spout out judgments that I'm uncertain of then it is to say them if I'm convinced. There is this ever-looming cloud of self-judgment that makes it rule #1 not to ever
consciously or intentionally step on toes. That's not to say I don't do it, but its a big no no... and usually the source when I have self doubt. I've figured that this has a lot to do with why criticism, especially when its about me being domineering or judgmental, really hits me hard.
Conclusions, resolutions, win-win solutions... They sometimes seem like addictions or supplements. I need to have a consistent flow of them in order to feel alive in the sense that they prove to me that life is moving according to the way I naturally feel it should. So there is always a quiet cycle of analyzing & judging or looking for meaning going on in the back of my head. This usually freaks people out until they get to know me better & realize that these background judgments, when about people, hardly represent how I see them as an individual or whether or not I care for them.
I am usually only happy when dealing with external things. As in, I can reflect on happiness ("hey! I feel great!") but only for short periods of time because the happiness comes from being out of my head. When I get upset I shut down & close off & I get upset when I have to do a lot of internal thinking or evaluating. (Fi or a Ti+Ni loop make me feel confused & sometimes selfish & bitter.)
I find most experiences I try to have (like activities, even in spontaneity) are more for creating memories, strengthening connections with people, personal growth & finding meaning in life. They always have to have a reason... ("I really need to do something spontaneous. I've been too overwhelmed with routine lately.") This reasoning or justification for doing anything usually comes pretty natural, so I don't really notice it... but it's there.
I'm going to end here & post more later if I think of it.