Not a true one, more of she tells me everything I tell her nothing. And this is when she's drunk, so I don't know if I could get her to open up sober. I would like to try, but I don't know how to go about doing this.
we are friends, it's just she's not the right type of person for me to live with. So even if we didn't live together I'd probably still hang out with her.
One thing you should know about INFJs (INTJs too in my experience) is that they can appear completely immovable in their operating. So much so that you would think that talking to them is a waste of time. However, I have found that if you talk to the INJ about the way your (you and this person) model of doing things is causing you distress, that the INJs can radically shift their Ni model based on the new data.
I am not saying that you are at fault, far from it. However, the INFJ must be given the opportunity to hear your thoughts as you are expressing them to us now. You won't know what roads that may open up until you do so. If you realy want to get some resolution, you should have a full sharing talk, at least once. Don't expect the INFJ to switch then. Just talk it all over, then let them go ponder for a while. It is not unlikely that they will come back with a new model for interacting that takes more into account your needs.
Remember the following things:
1) INFJs hate feeling guilty. The more reasonable you are when you have this talk the more the INFJ will subconsciously feel an itch that perhaps they aren't being reasonable. They probably won't show this during the talk, but I assure you they will afterwards. INFJs do ruthless appraisals of their conduct on a regular basis. If they know that you are out there with those feelings, and you are a reasonable person and they like you...that shiet will bounce around in their Ni heads until they come up with "the answer". The INFJ will be proud of their "answer" which accomodates a larger vista (both your needs). They will still act like an INFJ but they will be manipulative FOR you not against you.
2) INFJs LOVE to talk about relationships and how they can be improved and OPTIMIZED. Express how the current things make for tension and that tension causes both INFJs and INFPs to behave not at their best. I am INFJ and my lovely lady-friend of six years is INFP. She uses this tactic on me all the time, to good effect.
3) INFJs need to step through their intuitions in order to understand them completely. If this INFJ is hurt or immature then the Ni models that she is running on has not been vetted yet. Your conversation with this person could be that for them. It is quite common for my Ni intuitions to make an "a ha" when I am TALKING (Fe) with somebody who is understanding. INFJs have very few people who can provide this valuable function. Again, when I have this 'a ha" while talking I don't usually tell anybody, so don't expect your friend to. They will take these 'a ha" moments and take them back to their hidy place inside and make up a new superior, more encompassing model to fly with for the future with you. The person may present this "new better way" with pride after some pondering (could take days, be patient).
4) INFJs do not like details and tend not to like to keep track of them (dog stuff). However, Se is part of the INFJ's makeup. Most the INFJs I know (including myself) tend to REALLY REALLY remember CERTAIN Se stuff. This is usually a form of ritualization. By making the Se thing more "formal" it allows the INFJ to "hold onto" it better. What does this mean? I would make part of the talk mentioning (doesn't have to be the first talk) that there will need to be a concrete discussion and WRITING down of the needs of the dog in totallity. When INFJs see their duties made so formal it tends to have a powerful effect on them. When they think about shirking, their Ni (mayby Ti) will say "remember the paper! remember the rules you agreed to! you will look stupid if you don't. our roommate will "be in the right" and will be within their rights to bring it up." That is usually what helps me. I am more evolved so usually I don't need these talks (well sometimes sure). If I think it is going to be a problem FOR ME, I will often initiate this talk to PUT MYSELF ON NOTICE. Otherwise I am very lax with Se stuff.