Perhaps in the same way I'd assume someone giving me a card on my birthday isn't creating some kind of guilt trip or forcing empty social ritual upon me.
I never even thought to consider a birthday card as being manipulative. Maybe because I don't expect people to manipulate me. Actually, it's pretty pointless to try because I can tell. You may be able to lie to me outright though. Why be so distrusting of people at any rate? What abyss will a card cast one into after all?
If you're told to put on a necktie for work and you refuse on "personal" grounds, you should take it as a sign that you're more insubstantial than you thought. If putting on a tie makes you evaporate, then just give up now.
I believe she does this because she's not comfortable being in a leadership position, doesn't like to delegate work, but also realizes she can't do the work by herself, but is uncomfortable outright telling someone what to do. She is not a very direct person at all, but hints and insinuates at things she wants done. For the most part, I catch on to her insinuations but she often uses these same tactics when she's upset or in a foul mood.
So you're feeling the passive-aggressive tactic here?
So she'll say things like "I'm doing the work of 7 people," and depending on how I feel like responding I'll be silent and wait for her to tell me what she wants to do or say "OK, I'll do XYZ." Or she'll give me a project to do, tell me to do it how I want to do it, and if one piece of the project entails emailing a specific agency with a certain request I'll go to her and ask her is there anything she'd like me to emphasis in the communication. She'll say no no do it the way you like, I send the email, and then she'll send me back a critique of everything I should've said that I didn't. This has happened so many times I can't even count them.
That would make me crazy. I had a foreman like that. He'd tell us to get on our projects and then come by and shut them down for NO apparent reason. It was very defeating.
Would you say this is Fi behaving badly? Is this behavior that supersedes function and type? Because we certainly don't get very much of this on the forum, it's only Fe who gets pinned with this scarlet letter.
The misconception is that Fi is more "reasonable", or it's about "bad experience" therapy. Many Fe users on the board, including myself, have borne it patiently, and don't deserve the bashing. I don't abide that sort of thing IRL and I'm stunned that I'm so patient with it here. I still don't entirely "get" the whole centrality around Fe being "social" order. I'm constantly missing cues (while catching others) yet my Fi sister, the fish jump into her boat and I cast my line right into a tree.
I can read bad people and liars very well IRL, and I can never explain why I can see through them much to my frustration.
Also, I find that exchanging gifts and that sort of thing is easier with Fe users because it's less personal. When I give them gifts, they are more easily able to find meaning in the mere act of giving, whereas the few Fi users I've encountered have placed more emphasis on the meaning behind my choice of gift. And TBH, even though I kind of admire the idea of personalizing all of my gifts to the individuals that are close to me, doing so would exhaust me beyond belief. Even if I undertook such a project, I'd probably talk myself out of doing it because it's difficult and embarrassingly sentimental. And I'd probably get it wrong (i.e., I'd not really know what to give them because I don't hold on to emotional keepsakes). With Fe users, I don't have to worry as much. They'd be pleased even if they knew that I'd got everyone the same thing. And they are, in my experience, much more prone to being pleased with practical gifts than dominant Fi users (well, maybe only INFP).
Interesting angle, Orangey.
Do Fi users need to show up to the pillaging uh, 'competetion'? Perhaps bearing vials of our own blood to be awarded later?
I've had 8 vials drawn in the last three days. I'm good!
I did not realize how 'hot' Fe discussion is here. I experienced some very positive Fe usage in a discussion last night, too. In conversation, I like to avoid situations where a new topic or development comes up and makes some people uncomfortable, or is deemed inappropriate. My worry is, that a Fe-user may unintentionally encourage someone to volunteer something that is not quite appropriate for the current conversation, as if the Fe-user is surprised by the result of their Fe.
Ok, again this sounds like an unrealized fear or paranoia. There's no basis in fact that an Fe user is going to steal your soul. Ask yourself: What makes them so unreasonably powerful in your mind? What makes you so easy to subjugate? The implication is that you can't defend yourself? Why do you need to defend yourself? These questions are directed outward, not specifically at Lamp.
If it's ridiculous then you can see your way out.
Agreed. People are getting fired up and there's a reason for it, so being dismissive is counter-intuitive to the resolution.