If I recall correctly (and my memory for facts is faulty, if these can be called facts to begin with), then the info out there on type relationships and satisfaction show the following:
- INFPs are rated highly by their partners in terms of satisfaction. So other people seem to like INFPs for romantic partners if they manage to get into a relationship with one of us.
- INFPs rate their own satisfaction with their partners much lower, perhaps meaning we are hard to please idealists (but we knew that). However, since we easily please despite not being pleased, this must means we end up with emotionally oblivious partners...
- INFP females seem to pair off with STJ males more frequently than odds should suggest (see above about "emotionally oblivious" partners)
- INFPs, along with INTPs, are the type least likely to marry, or perhaps more likely to marry later in life (?). This ties in with being hard to please idealists. Perhaps it's not that we are not picked by others, but that we ourselves are picky and discount those who would pick us.
I'm going to take a stab here & guess that the INFPs & INTPs who fall into the above category are likely 4s & 5s too.... The combo of begin an IxxP AND at the "bottom" of the enneagram means you're very much an "outsider" in life.
Lastly, INFPs are defined as rather "opposite" of ESTJs & generally "resisting" the ExxJ manner which is seen as ideal in many societies. This tends to mean we get crap projected onto us that is not true or fair. People assume if you are not possessing X good quality, then you are its opposite. But just because we may not have the associated strengths of the ExxJ types doesn't mean we are simply their a "void" of those strengths. The stereotypes & perceptions of INFPs seem to promote we are the void, or the lack of admirable human qualities aside from some cutesy, fluffy sh*t people pat us on the head over. We end up being painted as the "dumbest" & least useful of the INxx types too.
This means that people will not envision an INFP as their ideal partner, because they fail to correctly envision an INFP. It may also mean that they cannot envision a good relationship outside of the cultural concepts handed to them, which an INFP may not fit, but that doesn't mean the INFP is incapable of creating a good relationship or being a good partner (especially if you consider the cultural concepts can be very flawed & narrow). Here, the limited conception of what an INFP is and how we may function in a relationship is the issue, not the reality of INFPs.
The good news is, we do not walk around with MBTI labels stuck on our foreheads nor slapped onto our backs, and so IRL, where these stereotypes are not attached to us automatically, we are dealt with as individuals. I don't find the majority of perceptions about INFPs around here to apply to me; most seem to just regurgitate poorly written profiles without having even properly digested them to begin with (ie. how they imagine the profile plays out vs what it's really referring to). This is evident in the mass of contradictions out there regarding INFPs (although certainly real individuals are full of contradictions too).
The anecdotes of INFPs that people give also do not align with the feedback I am given from those who know me in person. I'm pretty sure they don't even align with my image here either, and they certainly don't resonate with my sense of self. In person, I am not seen as cutesy or fluffy or someone to condescend to, but am generally taken seriously and seen as insightful, intelligent and analytical as the reputations the other INxx types are automatically granted.