Saw [MENTION=5684]Elfboy[/MENTION] 's link to a questionnaire in another thread and thought it couldn't hurt to fill out... I'm pretty sure people are right about the 9w8, but we'll see if I get any other hits.
Prerequisites
What age range are you in?
30s
Any disorders or conditions we should know about?
Nope
Main Questions
1. What do you think your life is about? What drives you in life? This can be something like a goal or a purpose, or anything else that comes to mind.
I feel like I'm constantly searching for ways to occupy my time and stay entertained...while still maintaining harmony within my family. I'm constantly picking up new hobbies (writing, painting, photography, etc). Lately, I've grown obsessed with fitness to try and better myself. And, pretty much since I've had the little one my world has revolved around making sure she's happy and healthy.
2. What were you like as a kid?
I was shy at first, but quickly warmed up to people. Always running around interacting with people. Apparently, I really enjoyed taking everything apart and reorganizing it, too...
3. Describe your relationship with your parents. Does anything stand out about the way you interacted?
I'm super close to both my parents and always have been. I wouldn't really say anything stood out. I have been referred to as naive, probably because I lead a fairly sheltered life.
4. What values are important to you? What do you hope to avoid doing or being?
Family is a big one for me. Education is another one, I'm always taking some sort of class to learn about new subjects. I really just want to make sure that I never back myself into a corner (career-wise) where I absolutely cannot find a job. And I also don't want to feel like I'm ever a burden to anyone.
5. Aside from phobias, are there any fears that characterized your childhood? Have they continued into the present day, or not, and if not, how have you dealt with them?
Actually, the opposite. I was pretty fearless as a kid. Running around in the dark didn't scare me, heights didn't scare me... And now both of those things terrify me.
6. a.) How do you see yourself?
Kind, gentle, private, and generous for the most part. Guilty of keeping certain feelings to myself and not letting those I care about get too close.
b.) How do you want others to see you?
The way I see myself.
c.) What do you dislike the most in other people?
Negativity. It really drags me down when people are negative about everything.
7. Which habit do you most automatically act on? Rank the following habits from most to least automatic, on a scale of 1 (most) to 3 (least).
a.) Work for personal gain with more concern for self than for others.
(3)
b.) Strive for a sense of tranquility in yourself and the world around you.
(1)
c.) Decide what is right for the betterment of something or someone else.
(2)
8. Where does the wandering mind take you? What provokes this?
To my insecurities. Feeling like no matter what I do it's not enough and that people won't accept me for who I am. It's always provoked by my lack of self confidence. It's always been hard for me to accept what people tell me, I always feel like they are just trying to be nice and not hurt my feelings.
9.What makes you feel your best? What makes you feel your worst?
Best - When my mom tells me I'm doing a good job with my little one. It's one of the few times that I actually feel like I'm doing something right. Worst - When I'm alone and my insecurities take over and I feel paralyzed by fear of never being good enough.
10. Let's talk about emotions. Explain what might make you feel the following, how they feel to you or how you react to the emotion:
a.) anger -
Being lied to. I get so angry that I actually cry because I don't know how else to release it.
b.) shame -
Failing at something I was sure I could handle. I fall into this rut where I wonder why on earth I couldn't handle it.
c.) anxiety -
Entering a meeting/class/group for the first time. I feel like everyone is looking at me and instantly sizing me up and picking me to pieces.
11. Describe how you respond to the following:
a.) stress -
I turn into a raging bitch to put it nicely. I have a tendency to take things out on anyone around me.
b.) negative unexpected change -
Frustration. Panic. Usually I have to be alone for a little bit to process everything.
c.) conflict -
Anxious. I'll immediately start trying to diffuse the situation with humor or something.
12. a.) What kind of role are you naturally inclined to take in a group? Why?
The funny one. I always cut up and kid around with people in hopes that in a tense situation I can make people laugh and forget about it.
b.) If put in power, how do you behave? Why?
Ugh, I hate being in power. I usually have someone else handle it, even if I am the one supposed to handle it.
c.) Do you tend to struggle with others who have authority over you? Why?
Nope, I'm pretty easy going and work better when I don't have to be the one to make major decisions.
13. What do you see or notice in others that most people don't?
Their facial expression/body language tells a different story than what they are saying.
14. Comment on your relationship with trust.
We're not very good friends. I have a severe lack of trust with nearly anyone. I have a very hard time with the intangible. I have a hard time accepting what others tell me and worry they are just saying it to avoid hurting me or to be nice.
15. Briefly: What religious and/or political beliefs do you have? Do you think they influenced your responses in this questionnaire?
None. I'm agnostic. Politics annoy the hell out of me. Certainly didn't influence this.
Optional Question (due to personal nature)
Discuss an event that has impacted your life significantly; more importantly, how you responded to it.
The birth of my daughter seriously calmed me down. While I am still fairly spontaneous, I now take her into consideration first. Prior to her, I was a loose cannon. I never spent more money than I had, but I had put myself in several tight spots before. Now, I'm much better about thinking about whether it's really a need or a want.
Extra Questions
Which of the following temptations do you find yourself acting upon the most? (And briefly state why)
- To constantly push yourself to be “the bestâ€
- To be without needs, well-intentioned
- To replace direct experience with concepts
- To have an extreme sense of personal moral obligation
- To think that fulfillment is somewhere else
- To cyclically become indecisive and seek others for reassurance-
This is like a double edged sword. I can be so indecisive that I ask others for their opinion... And then I question their opinion and why they feel that way. Thus...making the decision even more complex for myself.
- To overuse imagination in searching for yourself
- To avoid conflicts and asserting yourself-
I definitely try and avoid conflicts. While I might be curious about something, I prefer to wait until the conflict has died down to get details on what was going on. And if it's someone I care about directly involved in conflict, I try to play devil's advocate to try and get them to see what the other person may be dealing with...
- To consider yourself entirely self-sufficient
What's something you are: a.) thankful you have b.) wish you could have? Why?
a) To have changed my mind about having kids. I can't imagine life without her now. She has calmed me down so much. I can't even imagine how my life would have turned out if I would have continued on the path I was on.
b) I wish I had an English degree. Hopefully I'm fixing that in a few months. I want to brush up on my English skills and start working on a novel.