Do you ever feel like you are very weird, very odd, and if you let people see what you are really like you will never be accepted or even be shunned?
I've never been into the mainstream like most people are, so I automatically know I am different from most people. In a lot of ways, my differentness comes from me being an N vs the S people. A lot of things people like to talk about tend to be very S oriented subjects (celebrities, sports, what is going on, the next concert, etc). Every now and then I can jump into some S related subjects, but, for the most part, S related subjects just bore me. My favorit S subjects are not mainstream, so that doesn't help too much.
Being around other Ns makes talking much easier because we tend to share common interests. Also being around Ss who like the same non-mainstream subjects as me are also easy for me to talk to.
Because I never truly took the time to embrace myself on a lot of subjects Ss enjoy, I feel like I can be a boring person. I love talking with other people, but I can sit silent in a whole group because the subject being talked about is either A: something I have no interest in, B: something I know nothing about, or C: both. I fear other people feel the same way on the subjects that interest me (in other words, I don't care too much for their favorite subjects while they don't care too much for my favorite subjects), so never bringing up my favorite subjects is a common senario.
This bothers me less now than what it use to be because I know there are people who enjoy the same subjects as I do. There are just less of them. Actually taking the time to learn about what interests other people has been very helpful as well.
Do you find you hold parts of yourself back from others, understanding they will find them unacceptable?
Truly, I love being open, honest, and blunt. Problem is, there are people who are very critical and close minded.
I can't stand close minded people, and I almost never open up to them because being shot down just doesn't appeal to me. I don't care if you have made your decision as long as you have took the time to see all of the angels, or at least listen to a different side.
Critical people are different as constructive criticism is very useful. For those people, they have to prove to me they truly care and earn my trust. Thing is, if you do nothing but criticize with no encouragement, you will have a hard time getting me to open up.
I will admit, you have to show me you truly care about me before I can begin to open up to you. Some people do this very quickly while others take more time.
Do you hold back parts of yourself in fear of overwhelming others with your emotions, your intensity, your depth of thought or feeling, or your insights they may not "get"? (I could see all of these things from the different NF flavors)
As I said, I love being open, honest, and blunt. I use to be super open with everybody, but I have overwhelmed them with with my emotions, my intensity, my depth or thought or feeling, and/or my insights others may not "get". Learning by doing is my best method of learning and this is a lesson learned the hard way. This has caused me to see if you truly care, before you can see my deeper side.
Can you describe what your "core", your truest self feels like? What face would you choose to show the world if you knew that you would be unconditionally accepted for everything that you are?
My core self would like to tell you what I think and/or how I feel at any given moment. The reasons listed above is what is stopping me.