Qre:us
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- Nov 21, 2008
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[MENTION=5645]Qrious[/MENTION] did you figure out your wing? I was curious about this, too. I just don't ID or understand Sixes at all (I was married to one). But I can't see myself being as aggressive as an 8, either (I am judging based on what I see in my sister who is an 8). I can be aggressive but it's more likely to arise from impatience (my worst vice), so I get the bomb thing. I'm much likely to say how things are going to be and proceed to do it than approach it from a "don't try to stop me!" kind of thing.
I'm ambitious, too, but mostly for the economic power it will bring. I'm sick of being poor! There's not a lot I want to buy, I simply want the power to buy it if I want to...I like hanging onto money more than I like spending it. Can you talk more about your ambition? What has it led you to or want to do right now?
I did an enneagram test, and the top preferences that came out are 7 and then 5. I know I'm not a 5, though. (I wished I had saved those results).
I do believe I'm 7w8, moreso than 7w6. One main reason is, when faced with a confrontation, I am more agressive and on the offensive, than defensive, avoidant and anxious. If I become impatient (ditto, on it being one of my worst vices) - I am more likely to become stubborn about getting results/outcome re: the issue, bulldozing to get shit done, than internalize it, and become anxious over it. I also have issues with being seen as weak (vulnerability), which points to my 8 wing.
I am playful, very easy going about most stuff in life, but with a tinge of tart, rather than sweet. I do not particularly care about (nor like) any position of authority or power (whether it be someone else holding that position, or it being asked of me - as part of the current Management team, this is a double-edged sword for me). It is meaningless to me, in the grander scheme of things - as what they DO (not what they are, or their title), will make up my mind about whether I respect them, or defer to them, rather than a mere title. My supervisors know this side of me, well. Don't ask me to do tedious, stupid shit, because I will sarcastically point out how stupid and tedious the shit is, that you're asking me to do. And you better have a good, logical reason, especially regarding the consequences, of why you're asking me to do the stupid, tedious shit. It helps that my CEO is also another ENTP. We get each other.
My ambition? I'm not ambitious about making more money - although, that's never a bad thing - but it doesn't drive me. It would be different if I was at a different stage in my life, where I felt limited, not independent, due to my financial state, so I understand where you're coming from. I've been there (but I didn't have others depending on me financially, so it was faaaaaaar easier to juggle/manage). I.e., when I just graduated, as a poor, broke student, I had a substantial debt of student loans.
I detested the idea of being in debt (because I don't like feeling like I owe ANYONE ANYTHING - it feels constricting to my sense of independence, like I'm choking on it), and I'm pretty good with being smart about money, so I gave myself a goal, to pay off the debt within 1 year. Got an entry-level job (not even directly in my field), made a lot of sacrifices (no frivolous spending, didn't have a cell phone for 3+ years, which is unheard of apparently, didn't buy clothes unless absolutely necessary, kept rejecting friends' invites for social events, like going to watch movies, go out to dinner, etc, etc), and had a very strict budget that I followed, along with smart investment moves (and in 8 months, rather than a year - I had paid off all my loans). I can be very self-disciplined if I am motivated (which is a misunderstanding of 7s or Ps, I guess). It's just that getting to that point of being motivated is a bitch and a half when it comes to most things in life - because they're not all that important. Health, security, happiness. Everything else is really not all that important, so it's hard to feel duly "motivated" about most shit in life. I can always see a ray of hope, that translates bad to "it's not as bad as it could be, there's still possibility here, here, and here...."
Career-wise, I get pretty impatient about being "stuck", no matter how fast I've moved up the organization. But, the ambition is a by-product, almost, not a primary motivator. Does that make sense?In this way, I guess I am very, very ambitious. If I feel that I've mastered the skills at that level, I get antsy to move up (if there's possibility within the organization), or move on (if there's no possibility within the organization). I may feel bad about leaving a company because I like the environment, the people I work with, but I won't think twice about wanting to move on, given those reasons. I am learning to be more patient with this though. As things do come to me, if I wait, rather than start to charge ahead, as soon as I start to feel "bored" (which translates to impatient for something more, to be challenged). I'm also not hesitant to let my supervisors know when I feel I'm at that stage - basically, I'm saying, given my performance review, you can utilize me in more ways than currently I'm being utilized or I'll find another place that can better utilize my current skills, as well as, give me opportunities to learn and grow. Thus far, it has not led me astray. If anything, I've been given amazing opportunities because I'm hungry for it. But, one has to be smart, and realistic about it. Just because one thinks they are "too good" for something, doesn't mean they truly are. I am my own worst critic, about my level of expertise, so I make sure that I evaluate myself as critically as possible. Doesn't matter if I think a job is "beneath me", I will do the best I can in it, if I take responsibility for it. In my latest performance review, I remember my supervisor gave a pretty glowing review of my work, to which I replied, "That's great. So...what are my areas of improvement?" She was stuck. I was irritated.
So, yes, I'm ambitious because I get hungry as soon as I get bored of the same ol' meal (this obviously is towards things that are not of a personal nature, like my relationships, that is sustained by something deeper than hunger).
In summary:
- Pros of my ambitious nature:
* I'm very driven, can become very, very intensely focused and self-disciplined if I can find a motivation that speaks to my being
* I am not afraid to communicate my ambition/my hunger - and am very transparent about it
* I thrive on challenge - so if I set it up as a personal challenge - where I'm warring to prove myself wrong - it can drive me to produce great results
* I am not driven by status, image or money, as long as I am financially comfortable to enjoy life and its adventures and opportunities to play (my most expensive hobby - travelling - I travel probably 3-4 times a year).
* I can be very critical about my own skillset so it doesn't come as any surprise to me, others' evaluation of my skills, because it's probably less harsh than what I've evaluated myself to be
- Cons of my ambitious nature
* Slow and steady win the race - a lesson I must learn to hear, and follow, in life
* Impatience for outcomes, in terms of progress, can limit me (blind me) from seeing progress that take a while to fully form, be made apparent, and I am likely missing out on seeing the benefits of these
* I can burn bridges with my blunt ways. But, with a great sounding board/support system, I've learned to temper this aspect of myself
* Learning to recognize that an idea or plan of how to *quickly* achieve something, given steps A to Z, all laid out, might not be how it manifests. Sometimes, winding roads can lead to a far greater outcome. To recognize that, to be open to that, to be accepting of that - all the detours in life. It's counter to my ambitious nature, to wait. But, waiting is a humbling skill that I'm learning to master, but I'm a hell of a long way away.
* I don't always take such criticisms well, like, "I can definitely see you do/be X, Y, Z, but, in time....." It feels very vague adn flippant, like I've been shut out/down without any concrete answers. Like there is no explanation of what I'll need to improve upon to get there, how long is "in time"? Etc. Wishy-washy answers irritate me greatly (GREALTY!) - and this is another reason I likely have an 8 wing rather than a 6 wing.