A case in point is about a year ago, I made up my mind that I was going to have a ghost chili, which is among the hottest chilies on the planet. I spent an entire year training up to it, working my way up the Scoville scale, and somehow working spiciness into every meal that I had. By the time I was actually ready to take on a ghost chili, I pretty much had a capsaicin addiction, and needed that little bit of pain just to fully enjoy my meal. I was also essentially barred from using spice in meals that I cooked for others, because my thresholds were such that the level of heat required for it to register for me would ruin the dish for virtually anyone else.
Haha, that is INTENSE! =)
I think that my relationships run along the same lines. I don’t intentionally seek out extreme personalities, per se, but my particular configuration lends me a certain predilection for their company. That kind of appreciation in turn makes intense people gravitate towards me.
Same here. I think I've corrected myself in previous posts about the 6 - intensity is not really what the problem was; it was complete psychotic behavior in the form of intense ... smothering? Hyper-controlling? Over the top declarations of love, crying, punching windshields.. that kind of b.s. Intense minus major psychosis is super hot.
My sister and I are very close and she’s a 6w7. You’re absolutely correct about female 6s emotional depth, and the way they handle their intensity, even as phobics. Pound for pound, I’d say 6s are the most emotionally intense type for others. I think conventional wisdom points to 4s, but while 4s feel deeply, they’re more controlled in the expression of those emotions. There’s an element of performance in it. Not to imply inauthenticity, but I think 4s are as concerned with their sadness as they are concerned with the act of being sad. Or, in other words, ensuring that others experience of their sadness is as the 4 intends. You have to be pretty close to a 4 in order for them to really uncork and let loose on you in an unguarded way.
I really like the way you phrased this - especially the bolded. I wrote about an ex who was a musician in another post that I think you read..... he was a 4, and that is a perfect description of him. I love that word, "Uncork" .. haha. His heart shone through his music.. every note on guitar sang. If you've ever heard Jeff Beck, he could cover Jeff Beck and do it just as beautifully. He could cover anyone! Improvising with him.. we would just hold out a couple of long notes.. I'd use the mod wheel on the keyboard and he'd get into this intense sliding vibrato and we would synch up.... What...A...Heart. =,) He used to say "I try to make the guitar sing" and oh boy, he did. Most singers don't sing the way his guitar could sing. But in the name of authenticity, he turned down huge offers to make big money or get famous playing. He wanted to do it with his (imaginary) authentic original band..... etc.
Anyway point being, he was so intense musically, but very hard to "uncork" outside that context =p
Dude, I’m right there with you on 7s. They do absolutely nothing for me. I don’t really get 5s either. I’ve tended to be attracted to men along the 3-6-9 triangle, plus 4s. I think I respond to the qualities that I’ve bolded, but I need a little bit of an edge in a mate.
I need edge as well.
Hmm that's interesting that we share the experience with 7s, but not surprising. =) What don't you get about 5s?
There's a theory going around that you can sort of "react against" the wings surrounding your type, as in, we would react against 7 and 9 in a way. I think people react against the wing that opposes theirs, usually. So if we're both 8w9s it could also be that we don't want to see 7 in ourselves? I don't think my 9 wing is THAT overpowering - I see 7 in myself too, and times in my life where the 7 looks stronger, but overall it's 9. What about you?
I want someone who’s solid in himself: confident, together, and quietly charismatic. I prefer a man who’s smarter than I am (or at least intelligent in a complementary sort of way), because I like someone who can point out my blind spots. A driven sort of man who’s always ten steps ahead of everyone around him, who always sees all the angles, but still manages to come off completely unassuming. A good, thoroughly decent, pillar of the community sorta man that you can’t help but respect. A gentleman, in other words.
You just described someone I know..... and he's a 5. =,)
5s can have razor-sharp minds, but they can also be cuddly and adorable, and wild animals in bed, because they've got all this underlying lust (soul child 8), and when I bring it out.. it's so hot. =p
This may also be a product of my 5 & 4 fix though. I do really well with withdrawn types. I love drawing them out. And they're less threatening to my SP than other types. I'm a writer and I write music, too, so I need a lot of "alone time" when I'm not in an office. I need someone who "gets" that rather than me needing to boss them around about it. I like having someone I can be wild and intense with in bed, and have intense, probing conversations with, but also, can sit in a room with me on our separate laptops and ignore each other, or read books side by side.
I fear a 3/6/9 triader would be too "attached" and not "independent" enough for my taste, but I don't know. I mean, I want intensity, but not co-dependence? I am pretty sure I've never dated a 3, and only the one 6 who I had a bad experience with. The only LONG relationship I've had yet was with a 9w8, and we got along very well, but there just wasn't enough fire long-term, and also, his passive aggressiveness and failure to be straight forward was annoying to me.
I want a guy who’s a douchebag; damned if I don’t get exactly the douchebag I had in mind. I’m hoping that a healthier realignment of my intention will produce something just as loving and positive.
Haha, it's funny, I used to be like this. I guess I still want SOME douchebaggery. I need him to be innocent but my definition of innocent leans towards "honest" rather than "caring." I love a man who is selfish and goes after what he wants, pursues his dreams, lets nobody get in his way, stands up for himself, etc. Someone who would say "I'm selfish" but then melts in my arms. It's a strange dichotomy but I want someone who is soft and vulnerable underneath, but hard to reach on the outside - at least to anyone but me. That feeds my SX possessiveness; plus it's adversity over which I can triumph.. plus it's just... hot, peeling away all those layers. =p yummm. Also, I love a man who is tough and independent and has a razor-sharp mind and cuts right through my crap (and everyone else's), but who can break down and cry in my arms. If he can, then so can I.. and I can feel safe being vulnerable with him... which is what I really want more than anything.