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- Joined
- Jan 25, 2014
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This is primarily for E1's but anyone can chime in with thoughts/opinions of course.
The vice of E1's is anger, and ever since I learned I was a 1 I felt this was the only thing that was largely amiss. It wasn't until Monday that I realized that yeah, anger is definitely a thing with me, I just don't well understand it.
I have always considered myself to not have a temper, and that I don't snap easily. In certain regards that still holds true, but in others that's a laughable notion. It's partly due to the fact that I have a few mental disorders that colored my self perception growing up and lead me to stifiling who I am and not coming into my personality. Now at 26, I'm pretty much solidly into who I am and who I am going to be for the rest of my life.
I'm starting to notice that I am not all that self aware of my anger, and convince myself that emotions I feel aren't that but instead are annoyance, frustration, irritation, or all kinds of other descriptors that are like anger, but don't carry that label. It's often said that despite feeling angry frequently, 1's suppress this as they regard it as a reprehensible thing to express and therefore makes the individual "bad" to do so. While I don't actively think this, I am noticing that I suppress anger releases against my own will, even when I want to let it out in full force pretty badly. It still comes out, but it's always a controlled leak and ultimately not satisfying and if anything makes things worse.
There's sort of this burning desire to just enter into it fully, and in hindsight I find myself looking for situations that could allow me to do so. I.E. looking for a fight or a reason to be angry. In reflection I can see I find these sorts of experiences exciting and satisfying, as if I am proving something, but in the end it never goes quite how I want (the endgame doesn't feel completely or done right). I'm not entirely sure why, but it's definitely there. Part of me wants to say it's because it's permenantly bottled up, but I don't consciously think that.
Anyway, for other 1's, what's your relationship with anger, how do you experience it/release it. For others, if you know any 1's, how do they do with it?
The vice of E1's is anger, and ever since I learned I was a 1 I felt this was the only thing that was largely amiss. It wasn't until Monday that I realized that yeah, anger is definitely a thing with me, I just don't well understand it.
I have always considered myself to not have a temper, and that I don't snap easily. In certain regards that still holds true, but in others that's a laughable notion. It's partly due to the fact that I have a few mental disorders that colored my self perception growing up and lead me to stifiling who I am and not coming into my personality. Now at 26, I'm pretty much solidly into who I am and who I am going to be for the rest of my life.
I'm starting to notice that I am not all that self aware of my anger, and convince myself that emotions I feel aren't that but instead are annoyance, frustration, irritation, or all kinds of other descriptors that are like anger, but don't carry that label. It's often said that despite feeling angry frequently, 1's suppress this as they regard it as a reprehensible thing to express and therefore makes the individual "bad" to do so. While I don't actively think this, I am noticing that I suppress anger releases against my own will, even when I want to let it out in full force pretty badly. It still comes out, but it's always a controlled leak and ultimately not satisfying and if anything makes things worse.
There's sort of this burning desire to just enter into it fully, and in hindsight I find myself looking for situations that could allow me to do so. I.E. looking for a fight or a reason to be angry. In reflection I can see I find these sorts of experiences exciting and satisfying, as if I am proving something, but in the end it never goes quite how I want (the endgame doesn't feel completely or done right). I'm not entirely sure why, but it's definitely there. Part of me wants to say it's because it's permenantly bottled up, but I don't consciously think that.
Anyway, for other 1's, what's your relationship with anger, how do you experience it/release it. For others, if you know any 1's, how do they do with it?