Anja
New member
- Joined
- May 2, 2008
- Messages
- 2,967
- MBTI Type
- INFP
You needn't feel sorry about our values system conflicting.
I don 't "know the details" as you've said. So I can only comment on what I've seen.
What I saw was that you said you don't deliberately manipulate someone to cause them harm.
Then you did just that! An inconsistency either in your statement or in your values system. Yup.
Rogue said you had hurt her in your efforts to avoid a relationship with her and then did it again, publicly, when she again tried to approach you.
You admitted then that you had been hurtful but that she deserved it.
To me that's a conflict in your values system. Think about it.
"I don't hurt anybody, but. . ."
What's the rest of this sentence?
*If they deserve it? (By the way, that's what batterers and people who physically abuse children use for their excuse. Don't think you really want to go there.)
*If I feel unable to handle the situation in any other way?
*When my feelings are unmanageable?
You see what I'm saying?
A careful thinking on your own may help you see the conflict here. No pressure from me. I know plenty of people who lash out when they don't know what else to do and feel satisfied with that. And they have ok lives.
What I saw could have been handled by a pm that stated that you are done with your relationship and then repeating it, if necessary, next it happened again. That would have saved both you and Rogue some dignity.
Just something to consider.
It's a piece of my disappointment. I did expect you to manage this with the grace and humor I've seen before.
I won't lower my expectations just yet. Heh.
I don 't "know the details" as you've said. So I can only comment on what I've seen.
What I saw was that you said you don't deliberately manipulate someone to cause them harm.
Then you did just that! An inconsistency either in your statement or in your values system. Yup.
Rogue said you had hurt her in your efforts to avoid a relationship with her and then did it again, publicly, when she again tried to approach you.
You admitted then that you had been hurtful but that she deserved it.
To me that's a conflict in your values system. Think about it.
"I don't hurt anybody, but. . ."
What's the rest of this sentence?
*If they deserve it? (By the way, that's what batterers and people who physically abuse children use for their excuse. Don't think you really want to go there.)
*If I feel unable to handle the situation in any other way?
*When my feelings are unmanageable?
You see what I'm saying?
A careful thinking on your own may help you see the conflict here. No pressure from me. I know plenty of people who lash out when they don't know what else to do and feel satisfied with that. And they have ok lives.
What I saw could have been handled by a pm that stated that you are done with your relationship and then repeating it, if necessary, next it happened again. That would have saved both you and Rogue some dignity.
Just something to consider.
It's a piece of my disappointment. I did expect you to manage this with the grace and humor I've seen before.
I won't lower my expectations just yet. Heh.