It does sound like you want some conflicting things such as a "girly girl" who isn't sensitive.
I can only think of one woman I've met who fits that, and it has struck me that she would be the dream girl for a lot of guys. I'm not entirely sure of her type, except that she is a J and extroverted. At first I thought she was an ENTJ because she can handle a very dominant, somewhat erratic, controlling employer. Then one time when I was talking to her, she did do that 'mirroring' thing people ascribe to Fe. She wears a fair amount of makeup, has long brown hair, and dresses up nicely, but she isn't dainty built, but rather a bit tall. She also hunts, drives a big truck, and just doesn't take things personally. I can tell she really *gets* the way men think. She isn't a pushover, but she also doesn't push back too hard, but is cooperative overall.
My gut impression ( I can't remember if she ever said things to impress this on me or not) is that she was close to a very masculine father in a positive relationship where she wasn't coddled like a princess, but had an actual, successful connection with an uber-masculine father. That environmental factor could be more important than personality type.
You mentioned Nicole Kidman in a post, and her mannerisms imply a very sensitive type of woman. The type of feminine woman who doesn't take things personally would likely have a different feel about her than that dainty, vulnerable vibe.