RisaMoccasin
New member
- Joined
- Jul 13, 2012
- Messages
- 91
- Enneagram
- 4w3
- Instinctual Variant
- so/sx
Now I merely await more input and bump post because I don't want my topic to fall to the abyss.
XD
XD
Turns out there were HUGE CHUNKS of the ISFJ profile that I would not do and am not like, or that I don't relate to, and a few sentences that I would do/am like/do relate to. And there were huge chunks of the INFJ profile I related to, and only a few sentences I didn't relate to as much but have done or been like at some point or another in my life. ...
If you're curious, I'm an INFJ 4w5 sx/sp. And somehow I'm glad the war is over.
I don't relate to INFPs at all in most descriptions, I relate to ISFPs strongly in some descriptions and I basically always relate to INFJs. (I'm taking into account both behavior/trait descriptions, function descriptions and dichotomy descriptions.)
I'm also very sensitive. I don't come across as sensitive at all. ... But I cry a lot at home when I'm alone in my room and no one can hear me if I ever get criticized or insulted. I have a pretty bad temper that I keep hidden, too, but sometimes I blow my top off.
I also, while I wouldn't change having a depth of emotion, wish I could change what TRIGGERS it because I get SO upset over stupid things all the time, all day every day.
I think very intensely and I feel very intensely. I. Feel. Everything. Absolutely everything. I don't think I can even tell you enough, I FEEL EVERYTHING. ...
When I feel emotions, I feel them from the very deep of my core. If you took a key and opened me up like a box, you would not find any single half-hearted feeling. They are all very intense, and very real, and I feel every single emotion physically. ... And when I get [very] stressed and ... emotional, I subconsciously get so caught up in it that I lash out at other people, sometimes hurting people I love dearly. (Which I, right afterwards, get an intense feeling of guilt and regret, which only makes me feel worse.)
I usually act like I'm not into the unusual things that I'm into. ... I don't mention a lot of the things that run through my head, any of my feelings, or act as hyper and giggly as I actually am because I feel like I'll get judged. I also feel really uncomfortable doing things like wearing the clothes I want to wear or asking to get my hair cut the way I want it cut and I don't really know why.
Nobody ever really understands what I try to verbalize except for my INTP boyfriend, and he's the only person who really truly knows everything that goes on in my head. My INFJ and ENFJ friends know me very well, too, but not quite as well. Sometimes I feel not understood by them, but more understood by them than the majority of the people I know.
My ESTJ mom, as I've mentioned before as well, doesn't understand me at all.
I recently read something somewhere or another that I keep wanting to mention and continue to forget. It said that ISFJs tend to prefer small talk and don't like deep conversations whereas INFJs prefer deep conversations over small talk. In this case I think I'd be an INFJ because I love to talk in depth about deep subjects and whenever I'm with S-users they always backtrack the conversation to something else when I try to push deeper on a subject, like they feel uncomfortable going so deep, while I try to keep talking about that one thing.
I don't understand a lot of the things that my age group (I'm 14) does. In fact, I can't understand a lot of things that people do. It doesn't make those things bad, I just... can't understand them. Laughing over stupid pictures, cackling, being concerned with whether your false eyelashes are the right size or not, having seven boyfriends in one year, petty high school drama and middle school minds, or immature adults. I just... I don't get it. Again, it's not necessarily bad, I just can't understand it at all. That's why with a lot of people I don't talk very much. ... I don't understand how people could waste time laughing over stupid pictures or stabbing their best friends in the back or how people could not take other people, or life, seriously. We don't have that much time in this world so why the freaking hell are you wasting it?
Independence of Mind: Ni dominants confidently trust their intuitions, insights, ideas, and inspirations - often no matter what others say. Their thoughts become part of who they are, and they are completely independent of the world they live in. Ni dominants are the most independent minded of all other types, the insights they pick up on in their lives are completely original and subjective. For this reason, many Ni dominants feel like aliens, as if they perceive a completely different reality from everyone else.
12. What are most of the ideas/thoughts you get generally centered around?
This is another tough one. When I think, it's so deep that I don't even know what I'm thinking about half the time if someone asks me. Well, I know, but I have no clue how to articulate it.
Lots of times I'm really poetic. I tend to think about people and their emotions a lot, and I kind of theorize a lot. It's not really logical though, it's more of about the nature of people--how we're so wonderfully broken and complete all at once, and all the different things that split us up into different pieces or can repair us. That kind of thing. I'm really not sure how to answer this question, it's so difficult to put my thoughts into words.
I honestly can't understand why people can't all just be best friends and tolerate and respect each other and be kind and loving and help one another. I, personally, almost like the "different", "weird" or "unique" kids better. In fact, take out that almost, I do like them better. Everyone is wonderful and everything has something amazing about them (and something not so amazing about them), but the people that I can relate to and speak with the easiest are the "strange" ones. I like unique people. Usually they have depth to them that people who follow the crowd don't.
lol I'm such a J and he's such a P. I don't even have to offer you proof with how much that fit, we just are.
go to dance when I'm sick, because I don't want to ruin my perfect attendance record. I feel like I'm being immature, irresponsible, or letting people down if I just slack off or don't do something I'm supposed to do. ...
I have escape, self-defense and hiding plans for every section/room of the house in case someone will break in, and I basically have my whole life mapped out.
I have an almost perfect track record, too. I've only missed 4 dance classes in 4 years (I have 10 a week on average) and that was when I was so sick I couldn't get out of bed without getting dizzy. (People were actually texting me asking me if I died in a car crash because they're certain even if that happened my ghost would be there. xD)
This is how getting ready for events goes:
I make a list of everything I need to take with me the night before, set 10 alarms ranging from 3 hours before I have to be there to 2 and a half hours before I have to be there, make sure everything about my appearance is perfect, quadruple check that I have everything, and get to the event 20 minutes early minimum (and still feel like I'm late.)
I don't think I'm better than [all those people my age who I can't understand] -- not at all, I have a very very very very very far way to go as a person. But I take life very seriously. I take commitments very seriously, deadlines very seriously, my hobbies very seriously. I am a perfectionist to the extreme. And I can't choose that. I wish I wasn't.
I often appear lighthearted on the outside, or like a mature, lighthearted person, but I'm very serious (and often dramatic) when people get to know me well, and even more so on the inside.
I always take other people seriously unless it's really, really obvious that they're joking about something. People often laugh at me and say "You thought I was serious?", then I feel really embarrassed and creep back into my turtle shell.
6. What in life do you find to be of importance?
I find taking life seriously and treating everything special as special as it is is a big thing for me. This translates into chastity (I asked my parents for a purity ring when I was 12), for example. Kindness, humility (I need to work on that one), strength (of mind, not body), love, and faith are all big ones, too. Anything along the lines of those.
I do tend to do what it mentions in there somewhere about 'becoming so set in thinking they're right that they block out other opinions.'
My judgments and opinions usually start as very rigid, clear-lined and no-nonsense, but the more I hear a different opinion the looser they get, until I finally become open to hearing other opinions.
I have a hard time with not being stubborn, so I may not admit that I was wrong if I realized that I was, but I wouldn't be stubborn to the point of stupidity.
I do get really, really bossy a lot, though, like when my INFJ friend stops paying attention to talking about things I don't want her to talk about when there are other people around, I'll be like "SHUT UP!" And when she talks in dance classes I'll just glare and go "SHHH!" I've been told to stop being bossy a lot by her >>) I get bossy more than I get critical of inconsistencies and what have you. ... I can recall four times the last year I was told to stop being bossy. XD
[As a child] I was very obedient and got bossy if others didn't follow the rules.
I was a very obedient child. I was very much myself, and very creative, and thought of many things that shocked adults and made them call me precocious, but because of my maturity beyond my years I followed rules easily and often tried to remind others to follow them. Adults thoroughly enjoyed my company because I was a bright kid and other kids usually hated my company because I was a 'bossy know it all'.
I tend not to talk about [things I'm in the middle of learning about] or to talk about my opinions on them ... until I've completed them completely, because I feel insecure about my information, conclusions and descriptions if I do.
13. Describe your relationship to order and chaos. What do order and chaos mean to you? How do they manifest in your daily life?
I like order, but it takes too much work to attain/maintain it. I hate chaos, it makes me feel sick and anxious and jumpy.
Although I believe everyone is unique and no one should be 100% labelled, I find comfort in having loose-fitting labels, because it makes something seem more easily understandable and less of the dangerous, great unknown.
I have a lot of depth to me. I have this person, tucked away, very deeply inside of me, who I will call Inner Me. Inner Me is dying to get out. Inner Me wants to be seen and understood and loved, and there is only one person who has seen and understood Inner Me without even being told she is there--that would be INTP Boyfriend. And the people who Inner Me tries to show herself to and say "There is more to me than the Outer Me you see", they shake her off. They think they know her. But they don't. Only INTP Boyfriend does.
...
So when those things that Inner Me expresses herself via get shot down ... or only gets short replies, ... she becomes very deeply scarred and hurt. And then, from that person, she will draw away and think "This person will never understand me. This person doesn't think I'm worth understanding." until that person proves her otherwise. And that especially sucks because I want so badly to be understood by people and loved for who I really am on the inside and praised for who I really am on the inside and not the person they think I am or what they want me to be.
Dear ___,
I don't know where to begin, really, on describing myself, but I would like for you to understand me. That's one of the key components of me: I want to understand other people and to be understood, in turn, by other people.
I go back and forth CONSTANTLY from choosing a future career in dance, a future career in art, and a future career in psychology.
What activities energize you most?
Writing, performing, art, and talking to a handful of people who understand me well. ...
[As a child] I loved stories. Loved them. I used to write stories all the time, tried writing novels that I always abandoned (though at the current date I have completed 3 novels, have my 4th planned out, and have edited 2 novels of mine thoroughly).
Fi is typically more robust and, in a way, less sensitive to how other people feel than Fe. Fi can be more defiant, whereas in situations that produce negative reactions in people, especially in groups can be very stressful to Fe - because they take on those feelings internally.
I hate conflict. With a passion. I feel ill when I listen to people argue.
Anything even slightly stressful just drives me over the edge and I freak out at everyone for everything. (I have literally gone to my room to cry because my mom corrected me while I was making cookies before.) Then I immediately feel bad about making everyone else feel bad or freaking out on someone and get angry at myself, then the whole thing loops. I'm a really busy person and I almost constantly have tense, tight, sore shoulders, stabbing stomachaches and painful headaches.
What are some of your most important values?
Um, I don't really know what my biggest value is overall or what order my values come in, but I think among my tops are probably... My love and compassion for other people and how much I love helping them, probably, along with my faith (in God mostly, sorry if that offends anyone...) I would say some other strong values in my head and heart, or things that I feel weird about if I cross or if others across, are truth, authenticity, and... Maybe chastity, but I don't think that's as high-ranking as the others XD (I do have a chastity/purity ring that I wear every day and am intending to keep my promise, so...).
What about your personality most distinguishes you from everyone else?
I think that my biggest trait that's different from other people's is how much I'm obsessed with helping people and how open-minded I am and how loyal I usually am to my close friends and boyfriend.
one of my goals is to help people. Not really in a day-to-day "let me get the laundry done for you", "wash the dishes", "cook you food", "get you medicine" (though I love doing this for people I'm close with when they're sick or very busy), I mean more of mentally and emotionally. I love playing counselor and therapist. I love holding my friends when they're crying. It's just something I like.
4. What kind of person would you LIKE to be?
I want to be the kind of person who inspires others. I want to help them along in their life journey and watch them thrive and grow.
What is it that you desire in life? What do you strive to achieve?
I desire to help people psychologically and emotionally, and to watch them thrive. I want to start an organization with my boyfriend, similar to TWLOHA, that caters to these needs. I'm not sure where they come from, I just know that I have to do it and that I'm one of the best people for the job at the present moment in time.
I give and give and give until I wear myself thin, having no more to give, but then I still give even more. I give oceans to people who wouldn't cross puddles for me simply because I feel bad not helping them, despite the fact that I know they don't deserve my help. It's actually a really unhealthy trait because I've given to the point that I had nothing left for myself anymore and became very unhealthy.
I guess you could say I'm very humanitarian. One of the things I'm fascinated with is the Golden Gate Bridge. I really want to move to San Fransisco at some point in the distant future and spend all my free time sitting at the Golden Gate Bridge. Even though I know the chances of me being able to talk someone out of suicide there are probably pretty slim I would at least like to try.
8. How do you treat hunches or gut feelings? In what situations are they most often triggered?
I usually listen to them because when I get them I'm normally right. Normally I have a really good perception on what type of person someone is upon meeting them. ... And usually if I'm talking to a friend, even if they act perfectly normal I sort of just know that they're upset. The hunches and gut feelings on people are usually dead-on and I get them really often, probably at least once or twice a day if not more.
I have this natural instinct for if my friends are hurting and I always know the exact right time to bring something up. I also have random people I see in a crowd where I immediately become drawn and attracted to them, such as 'I can tell this person is a very kind person and I want to get to know them and become their best friend for all of life!' That also goes the reverse way--I can look at someone and go 'I feel uncomfortable around this person. There must be a reason for that.' and then I start avoiding being alone with them. So far, my instinct has proved right on people every time but once.
I love other people, yet I also hate them. I love studying the human condition. ...
I often have intuitions about other people that I can't quite explain. They mostly come in forms of, "I really want to talk to this person", or "I should stay away from this person". Sometimes I immediately know what to say to make situations feel better, and sometimes I immediately can guess what's wrong, or why they did a certain thing. It's sort of like a sixth sense.
I will ... take a chainsaw to the face of anyone who hurts you, regardless of who's in the wrong.
I don't want to hurt other people, ever. No matter who they are. I would rather help someone who abused me for years and years than say a mean word to a murderer. I just cannot do it. (This, however, only covers being mean, not being defensive....)
reckful said:If there's an MBTI type most likely to cherish movies like Braveheart, I'd say it's the NFJ. There seems to be something about the combination of NF with J that leads people to particularly love stories where powerful evildoers finally get their (often violent) comeuppance at the hands of the noble, oppressed little guys and justice is served ... [and] it sounds to me like you've got a fairly strong streak that corresponds to that special hate that it seems to me that NFJs (and perhaps INFJs especially) are prone to have in the face of some powerful person or group inflicting oppression/injustice/etc. on some underdog or disadvantaged group, and that special calling to nobly stand up for the oppressed and fight the oppression.
I absolutely hate injustice. I don't understand it. At all. It makes me very, very angry. I want to do something about it, I want to stop it, I want to befriend the underdog.
12. Describe your relationship to authority. How do you perceive authority? What does it mean to you, and how do you deal with it?
Authoritative figures should be respected even if you don't particularly like or agree with them. I tend to just do what they say. If I don't like them, I'll rant to my friends or my mom about that person while they're not around, but politely. ... If I really don't agree with them, I might make a side comment disguised as a joke/compliment that they'll never figure out was actually a snide comment about them, because I'm too afraid of ruining what they think of me, of humiliating them in front of other people, and of hurting their feelings.
One of my friends (she believes she's an INFJ) has a complete lack of respect for authority, and it really annoys me because she goes out of her way to be rebellious and 'different'. It wouldn't bother me if she was just naturally that way, but she acts that way on purpose to defy the system, and for that reason alone. She wants to dye her hair purple just to make people at her school mad. She got a cartilage piercing only because her mom didn't want her to. She identifies as LGBTQ ONLY because it makes her feel rebellious, not because she actually is a part of that community, and other similar things. It really agitates me because I don't understand why she just can't be herself, and it seems disrespectful to everyone and to herself that she would act that way only for the reasons she does. It's something I can't understand because going along with rules (as long as they aren't absurd) and following the system is a necessary part of excelling and for society to be orderly.
What are some of your most important values?
Purity in most senses of the word. Love, friendship, loyalty, protection, safety, kindness. I also think you should know who you are and think past the superficial things in life. I think everyone is a human being and thus even if you disagree you should be very kind to one another.
I can also be really manipulative, which makes me feel really bad because I hate doing that to other people and I think they'd hate me if they knew, but I have such a hard time not doing it. I know what other people's buttons are and exactly how to make them feel what I want them to feel for them to do what I want them to do.
Visionary Drive: The sense of the future and the realizations that come from Ni have sureness and an imperative quality that seem to demand action and help us stay focused on fulfilling our vision or dream of how things will be in the future. The Ni user can hold the ideal future society or system within their Ni, and rigorously drive toward this goal to turn it into reality.
extraverted Feeling (Fe) ****************************************** (42.1)
excellent use
introverted Feeling (Fi) ********************************************** (46.1)
excellent use
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tl;dr: RisaMoccasin is a Limbic INFJ.
Is it common for INFJs to be charged by other people if those people are the kind of people they like to talk to?
For example, I went to a thing for writers a few days ago where we all wrote and talked about our novels while we were there, and this guy sitting across from me at my table was really interesting. Didn't talk to him for long enough to get a secure hold on his type, but he seemed like an ENFx, at the very least an EN. He had a lot of really interesting viewpoints and he told me he's in college for psychology, gender studies, other things along those lines. When he left I felt really energized because I had had such a good, in depth discussion with him.
Because of the situation, I would say it's more of just an NF getting a glimpse at rare like-minded people than an extrovert, right?