WOW. I am in the midst of it right now, and I can't really see any way out. I have almost zero interest in the what I usually love (trying new things, spending time with people, intense physical experiences, discussing new ideas). I try making these weird routines for myself and I feel a little better for a short while but then everything becomes a mess and I get really frustrated with myself for being so unfocused and disorganized. I have found myself in a similar thick hopeless cloud at other times in the past, but I can't even tell what got me out of it. Or can't remember. Or can hardly remember being any other way.
What else have you found helpful, ENFPs/ENTPs? Are you usually able to identify what is causing it? Do you try to change the situation or try to change yourself, or do you just let things run their course?
I have scheduled an appointment to talk things over with a counselor, although the soonest available is April 28th. And I am trying to force myself to do those things that usually give me energy and a sense of wholeness. I just don't know, though, because it seems to be a combination of two situations that I can't really control entirely (i.e. I could control my "attitude" or make superficial changes, but, for the time being, I'm somewhat stuck). Or maybe I just PERCEIVE that I cannot change anything. I don't even know...
Advice, pls.
I can totally relate to what you are saying. I have been like that for years.
Depression really sucks, and if you're ENTP/ENFP it sucks even more, because people just think you're happy all the time, carefree, which is just dumb.
I get remarks like how do you do that? How can you not worry?
When in fact I DO worry a lot, but only irrational things. Well lately (2 months) I haven't had any trouble, the depression is wearing off for good.
But it completely ruined my adolescence, because I was very optimistic, then depressed, then optimistic.. I really did not get it..how could that be unipolar depression?! All the ups and downs.
But it proved to be unipolar...I was just excited when I got out of the depression. I am 100% sure it was unipolar because you can't have more than 2 months of 'normality' when you're bipolar..and I've been depression free for about 65 days.
The thing is that sometimes I can get so excited about people and ideas that it's like I'm hipomanic. But I'm not. There's a reason I'm so excited, when you're hypomanic there's no reason. There's just stupid chemestry going off the grid.
Being an ENTP/ENFP can be a tricky thing, some may never find the true pleasure of their types...because they're trapped.
But.
I got this all with cognitive behavioral therapy... I understood myself, and more importantly why I'm like that.
Depression doesn't just happen...it's an entire mechanism.
Depression feels random but I can assure you in most cases it is NOT.
It's like the mind's pain, when something inside of you is terribly wrong...depression needs a lot of stuff in order to survive. In my case it needed OCD/Hypochondria..and some more irrational stupid fears/concepts.
But the biggest issue was the Obsession. Without the O, the whole thing collapsed. Now I am free. I am happy. I get excited.
It's like my adolescence continued till I got 21. In adolescence you find out who you are what you want, you build your life brick by brick, your concepts, everything. I didn't do that.
Once I did that I came back to normal.
I still worry, I still get obsessed sometimes about my health, small aches make me see myself very ill in the future, but the fears are IRRATIONAL, as long as I fight them, they will never control me.
I like my introverted moments, I can't actually be an extravert all the time.. I just don't have enough energy...I need to spend time within myself to find myself. But when I was a teen.. I was terrified by that.
Well anyway.
This reply is getting too long...and when it gets too long people just don't read it.
The conclusion is that a good therapist antidepressives and sport can fix you.
Though I don't really recommend pills...