cascadeco
New member
- Joined
- Oct 7, 2007
- Messages
- 9,083
- MBTI Type
- INFJ
- Enneagram
- 9w1
- Instinctual Variant
- sp/sx
This might sound overly cold, but I'm really not looking for any kind of friendship with the neighbors. I probably care less than I should about what my neighbors think of me, which is why I didn't think twice about calling the police to solve the 'kids throwing stuff' problem. Truly. I mean, I'm never blatantly rude or anything, but I absolutely never go out of my way to show friendship because I'm not interested. I don't like that it may sound elitest, but I just don't like wasting time on 'friendly behavior' with people who bore me. I'm not disrespectful to them, just incredibly, incredibly aloof.
Yeah, this can be how I am with neighbors, especially if I get a sense that I have little to nothing in common with them. I just won't even bother. I'll be polite, I'll say hello, maybe chitchat occasionally, but the fact that they're a neighbor doesn't mean much to me, in terms of any 'obligation' or need to try to become close to them.
Anywho..regarding the OP... I really, really related to the latter half of it..i.e. thought process re. the doorbell, then them randomly being in the backyard, you initially being somewhat offended/alarmed/bothered by them being back there without telling you, then that feeling backing off once you realized what they were doing and how concerned they were about all of it.
To the first bit about the police (although I read your later post that that wasn't an important element to the story), I would not have done that - especially if I didn't know the neighbors' personalities well enough, I wouldn't want to piss them off for fear that they'd start being subtly obnoxious in the future just to get back at me. haha. I'd probably have walked over and talked to them. BUT I guess the negative of doing that is you could end up with someone who wouldn't much care, and would take forever to fix it, when it would have been better to put the fear in them. I guess there are total unknowns no matter what the choice.
Also related to fidelia's post, re. one minor thing isn't a big deal, and I tend to be pretty mellow/chill about isolated things, but once patterns start forming, the sum of all of the no-big-deals can become a Big Deal.