INFJ or ESTP!??! How am I confused about this

[Grace]

I CANNOT figure out what I am and it drives me bonkers. I spent years thinking I was INFJ but now that I've met some I'm like, heck no I'm not an INFJ (no offense but I can't handle how phony some of them seem. Is that a thing or just the people I've met?)
I used to at least be confident I was an introvert but I'm not even sure about that anymore. I think I might just be a super lazy extrovert. I DON'T KNOW.
Now I'm wondering if I might be an XSTP which is the exact opposite of what I've always thought. Because I'm not sporty and I just figured all STPs were sporty. Like an idiot.
Blah
Anyway, this is pretty dumb but see if you can type me based on what characters I'm like according to other people. Yes this is inspired by that Facebook thing. These people came up with these lists independently of each other.
My cousin says I'm like Rory Gilmore, Donna (That 70s show), Hermione a bit, and Floyd (30 Rock) because he's "funny and polite."
One of my best friends says I'm like Rory Gilmore, Leslie Knope, Phoebe (Friends), a mix of Luna and Hermione, and Tiana or Elsa.
There, now typing me should be easy. Also, my favorite food is tacos.
Also, how do you know if you're an introvert or extrovert? I thought I knew.
Also, how do I know if I'm Ti or Te? Because I'm pretty sure I'm one of those.
Okay, thanks. Please help.

 

[Grace]

Also, I just took the test on 16personalities and got this:

ISTP-A

I - 58%
S - 53%
T - 60%
P - 58%
A - 78%

But the description of ISTP doesn't sound right for me because I am the opposite of a mechanic. I have no desire to pull things apart and see how they work or whatever. That sounds like a terrible time.

 

[Generalist]

Also, I just took the test on 16personalities and got this:

ISTP-A

I - 58%
S - 53%
T - 60%
P - 58%
A - 78%

But the description of ISTP doesn't sound right for me because I am the opposite of a mechanic. I have no desire to pull things apart and see how they work or whatever. That sounds like a terrible time.



Hmmmm, I feel your pain. I have also suffered from confusion thanks to all this typing stuff. Well here are some tips I have read about figuring out your type.

Figure out what types you are not?

Figure out which functions you don't use?

I think we use all functions, but there are four that are the strongest in the type. But just because you don't really feel like you use something doesn't mean it isn't in the top four. Like if you are an ISFP, you probably wouldn't feel like you have a strong use of a thinking function but Te is their inferior function.

Look back at your childhood, specifically during times of leisure, like summer break.

Talk to someone who knows you well


Also I have read there are certain barriers like how you were raised, the whole nurture vs. nature thing. How you were nurtured could be a barrier to you typing yourself.

Also you development could be in the way too. As your personality develops, according to type theory can certainly make things more confusing. To use ISFPs again, their third function is Ni and as that comes out, ISFPs could develop an interest in abstract concepts. Also I read from one source that your inferior function can really mess you up and cause you to mistype. For example, ISFJs' inferior function is Ne and it could cause them to speculate about politics and things like that.

I believe an INFJ's tertiary function is Se, I am not sure off hand what their inferior function is. So if you are having a somewhat Se development that could be it.

Plus these assessments aren't fool proof. You take these things and one says you are an ISTP and the next one says you are an INFP or an ESFJ.

I hope this helps, but if you really are being driven nuts, there is always the option of taking the MBTI and then talking to an actual person who is certified in MBTI typing that can help you interpret your results. Obviously you have to pay for that.

Good luck and don't worry, you are not alone.

 

[Forever]

If you don't have a desire to see how anything or anyone (that includes everyday strangers) works naturally, it may be then you are very much likely neither of the two.

 

[sardonic delight]

My cousin says I'm like Rory Gilmore, Donna (That 70s show), Hermione a bit, and Floyd (30 Rock) because he's "funny and polite."
One of my best friends says I'm like Rory Gilmore, Leslie Knope, Phoebe (Friends), a mix of Luna and Hermione, and Tiana or Elsa.

Rory is an ISFJ. Hermione a ESTJ. Leslie a ESFJ. Phoebe a xNFP. Tiana and Elsa are xSTJs. Methinks you have more Ne than Ni. I'm going to give you a link to the Keys 2 test. I find it more insightful.
Keys 2 Cognition - Cognitive Processes

 

[Grace]

Also I have read there are certain barriers like how you were raised, the whole nurture vs. nature thing. How you were nurtured could be a barrier to you typing yourself.

What do you mean by this? Do you have examples? And thank you for your thoughtful response.

 

[Grace]

Rory is an ISFJ. Hermione a ESTJ. Leslie a ESFJ. Phoebe a xNFP. Tiana and Elsa are xSTJs. Methinks you have more Ne than Ni. I'm going to give you a link to the Keys 2 test. I find it more insightful. Keys 2 Cognition - Cognitive Processes

I got ISFP when I took that. It says the only function I have excellent use of is Fi. I will be honest though, I feel like I didn't fully understand a lot of what I was answering. I put "somewhat" or "little use" for a lot of them simply because I was confused. I feel like I need concrete examples to be able to identify whether or not I identify with the statements. The way they are currently written seem too abstract for me to comprehend fully, which probably should tell me something about myself right there. (But I don't know what it tells me!)

 

[Grace]

If you don't have a desire to see how anything or anyone (that includes everyday strangers) works naturally, it may be then you are very much likely neither of the two.

I like understanding people and I've been told I ask probing questions to everyone I meet. As in, maybe a strength of mine is knowing what questions to ask people in order to get to know them. But I don't care about knowing how actual machinery works. I'm not interested in physically pulling apart something with my hands in order to study it, nor do I see something and wonder how it works (other than a human, as mentioned above).

 

[SearchingforPeace]

How old are you? It is a very important aspect of typing because the brain does not fully develop until 25 or so. And childhood can cause distortions and ego constructs that prevent scoring accurately on tests.

I took the official MBTI several times in college and scored as a ISTP, but I am absolutely not one.

But ISTP is not only the opposite of ENFJ but uses the same 4 functions. I just couldn't see myself clearly until I broke through some layers of denial. So how I lived and how I thought I lived were two different things.

It is often hard to see our primary function because we use it so naturally. As such, typing by using what we are like under stress is often useful.

What are you like when stressed? What helps you get out of stress?

 

[Mal12345]

I like understanding people and I've been told I ask probing questions to everyone I meet. As in, maybe a strength of mine is knowing what questions to ask people in order to get to know them. But I don't care about knowing how actual machinery works. I'm not interested in physically pulling apart something with my hands in order to study it, nor do I see something and wonder how it works (other than a human, as mentioned above).

You should start here. Myers-Briggs: Are You Judging Or Perceiving? | BrainFall

 

[Generalist]

What do you mean by this? Do you have examples? And thank you for your thoughtful response.

Well, it refers to how your external environment, upbringing, culture all that kind of stuff has affected your development. One really common example that I think people use is, a perceiver ends up in a really structured job so they start to think they are a judger, another would be someone who has become more outgoing and may start to think they are an extrovert. Plus another post I read talked about values, like for example this person was an ISFP who grew up in a family who placed a huge value on education, but overtime she came to realize that wasn't really what she was interested in, even though she had originally started down a career path in the sciences. And maybe your upbringing could cause you to view your type in a negative way. For example, I am pretty sure I grew up in a family of SJs, both my parents and brother were really responsible, organized and made smart choices, but me as an ISFP, I am the screw ball in the family. Disorganized and more interested in things other then my "responsibilities", really in the moment and way too nice to people. I came to view their way of doing things as the way you should be, so I wonder if I was resistant to admitting to myself that I am an ISFP because I got the impression that you should have things way more together and that to have the motto of I just want to enjoy myself wasn't good. Also keep in mind that these assessments are just going to spit back at you what you put into them. So if you aren't an INFJ, but really want to be and lie on the assessment to get INFJ answers, you will get INFJ. You have to try and be honest as possible. But they are essentially mirrors. I have found that the greatest challenge isn't finding your type but accepting it. Also consider that you might arrive at finally figuring out your type by not trying to figure it out. Sometimes it seems that when we stop looking for something that is when we find it. Good luck and take what I said with a grain of salt. I am not a type expert, therapist or anything like that. Just sharing some experience and info I have read. Good luck and don't get to obsessed with it, it just makes it harder to figure out. Good luck.

 

[Forever]

I like understanding people and I've been told I ask probing questions to everyone I meet. As in, maybe a strength of mine is knowing what questions to ask people in order to get to know them. But I don't care about knowing how actual machinery works. I'm not interested in physically pulling apart something with my hands in order to study it, nor do I see something and wonder how it works (other than a human, as mentioned above).

Describe your interest with people. What kind of questions would you ask me?

 

[Grace]

How old are you? It is a very important aspect of typing because the brain does not fully develop until 25 or so. And childhood can cause distortions and ego constructs that prevent scoring accurately on tests.

I took the official MBTI several times in college and scored as a ISTP, but I am absolutely not one.

But ISTP is not only the opposite of ENFJ but uses the same 4 functions. I just couldn't see myself clearly until I broke through some layers of denial. So how I lived and how I thought I lived were two different things.

It is often hard to see our primary function because we use it so naturally. As such, typing by using what we are like under stress is often useful.

What are you like when stressed? What helps you get out of stress?

I am 28 although I realize I probably sound much younger in that post. I started getting into typing when I was 18 or 19 so maybe that's why I don't feel like an INFJ anymore? Maybe now I'm fully developed or something. Also, when I first took the test I was dating someone who was a very strong T so maybe in my brain I identified more with F stuff just when comparing my personality to his, if that makes sense.

 

[Grace]

Well, it refers to how your external environment, upbringing, culture all that kind of stuff has affected your development. One really common example that I think people use is, a perceiver ends up in a really structured job so they start to think they are a judger, another would be someone who has become more outgoing and may start to think they are an extrovert. Plus another post I read talked about values, like for example this person was an ISFP who grew up in a family who placed a huge value on education, but overtime she came to realize that wasn't really what she was interested in, even though she had originally started down a career path in the sciences. And maybe your upbringing could cause you to view your type in a negative way. For example, I am pretty sure I grew up in a family of SJs, both my parents and brother were really responsible, organized and made smart choices, but me as an ISFP, I am the screw ball in the family. Disorganized and more interested in things other then my "responsibilities", really in the moment and way too nice to people. I came to view their way of doing things as the way you should be, so I wonder if I was resistant to admitting to myself that I am an ISFP because I got the impression that you should have things way more together and that to have the motto of I just want to enjoy myself wasn't good. Also keep in mind that these assessments are just going to spit back at you what you put into them. So if you aren't an INFJ, but really want to be and lie on the assessment to get INFJ answers, you will get INFJ. You have to try and be honest as possible. But they are essentially mirrors. I have found that the greatest challenge isn't finding your type but accepting it. Also consider that you might arrive at finally figuring out your type by not trying to figure it out. Sometimes it seems that when we stop looking for something that is when we find it. Good luck and take what I said with a grain of salt. I am not a type expert, therapist or anything like that. Just sharing some experience and info I have read. Good luck and don't get to obsessed with it, it just makes it harder to figure out. Good luck.

Thanks, that all makes sense. My family are all heavy J's but I don't know how that affects me. Either I am a J too but don't feel like one because it's less strong in me than them, or I'm not but just think I am because I was raised around them. I'm still confused by it but I get what you mean. My mom is an ISTJ and my best friend sees me as an ISTJ but I think it's because the choices I make in life are often based on what I think my mom would be pleased by. So I often do ISTJ-like things (responsible, practical, etc.) but it's moreso because I don't want to disappoint my mom than because I'm intrinsically motivated.

 

[Grace]

Describe your interest with people. What kind of questions would you ask me?

First i would ask if that's really a picture of you because I like it a lot. Since all I know about you is that you're into Myers Briggs, I would ask about that first. What got you into it? In what ways do you feel like you fit your type and in what ways do you feel like you don't? I would also ask what your favorite movie is because I think that says a lot about a person. I think my interest in people is mostly to find out what they're passionate about and then listen to them talk about it. I might ask what you do for a living and if you like it. If you do like it, why do you like it and if you don't, what would you rather be doing? I love talking to people about their families and the dynamics within. How many siblings do you have? Are you close with them? Who are the people you are closest with and what are they like? I guess to sum up, I like learning about the things that other people love (their hobbies, passions, family, work, etc.).

 

[Forever]

First i would ask if that's really a picture of you because I like it a lot. Since all I know about you is that you're into Myers Briggs, I would ask about that first. What got you into it? In what ways do you feel like you fit your type and in what ways do you feel like you don't? I would also ask what your favorite movie is because I think that says a lot about a person. I think my interest in people is mostly to find out what they're passionate about and then listen to them talk about it. I might ask what you do for a living and if you like it. If you do like it, why do you like it and if you don't, what would you rather be doing? I love talking to people about their families and the dynamics within. How many siblings do you have? Are you close with them? Who are the people you are closest with and what are they like? I guess to sum up, I like learning about the things that other people love (their hobbies, passions, family, work, etc.).

Haha if you mean my avatar then no, that's not a picture of me. I wish I've taken the chance and been brave to talk to her. She loved dancing with me! (Well, I was at her show lol.)

To the second question, I feel like I'm my type because I am original and like to find what's essence of people around me. What makes that person act that way? Why? Always more and more questions. Things that I know that science has a limit on (at least right now). I get so involved with the dynamics of a person and make for a highly analytical person where INFJ's are borderline feelers/thinkers. Things I do have to have my stamp of authenticity. I dislike it when people talk like they know it is and identify it when they bother not do the research. INJ's are especially the types who want to know things inside and out and don't have to wait for someone to answer. I point out inconsistencies with people. (Some even on this forum unfortunately, they are so image oriented!) I feel like I see more than just what's on the surface with people, which unsettles people why I "know" so easily. It isn't magic, it's just simply I take note of the small things and relate it to what they claim or project and then I start building a magnificent picture on their character. I find the abstract outline of people.

I guess what I don't identify with my type is that I am not some social/political justice warrior and I'm not engaged in politics. According to some descriptions people readily see INFJ's as adept mask wearers and can blend in. I like to keep it real. In fact, this question is even silly because the most authentic INFJ description is something that can apply to everyone. Because it's abstract and objective enough that you either identify with it entirely or you don't. Unfortunately, no such description exists. But that's just my theoretical opinion.

I'm a student. Do I like it? Sort of haha. I want to get the higher part of education so that I'm learning a speciality that applies directly to my interests. That's the kind of education I bathe myself in.

I have one sister who is younger, and no we aren't close. I believe she is Fi dom.

Idealistically, I'm closest with mija (girl in my avatar) She inspires me, I may not approve everything she does. But she's pretty cool regardless. I'm close with my mother the most, she's pretty practical so sometimes when it comes to conversations we may not always see eye to eye, but I'm thankful for the support she gives me in whatever way she can. Also helps balance my lofty outlook on life.

So to me, you seem to prefer Fe/Ti over Fi/Te. Learning about others and making that your own interest makes you in the FJ/TP field.

Do you like small talk? Are you more of a doer? Does talking sound more exciting than going to sports or is it the other way around?

Oh and on the movies.. I'm so terrible with favorite tangible things... hmmmm... I do like LOTR for a classic film. (Samwise Gamgee is my favorite character in the film, I think Frodo is more likable in the books)

Another good film is In Your Eyes, I liked it because it was about two people who connect to each other in a psychic way and were both framed as mental patients and they had to run away to Canada. It made me cry because I understand what it's like to not be understood for who you are.

 

[SearchingforPeace]

I am 28 although I realize I probably sound much younger in that post. I started getting into typing when I was 18 or 19 so maybe that's why I don't feel like an INFJ anymore? Maybe now I'm fully developed or something. Also, when I first took the test I was dating someone who was a very strong T so maybe in my brain I identified more with F stuff just when comparing my personality to his, if that makes sense.

Most people who type as INFJs as youths are not. It is the rarest type.

For females, 20% are xSFPs and 32% are SFJs. Unfortunately, the descriptions for these types are just bad and many confuse Introverted Sensing(Si) and Introverted Intuition (Ni), besides the huge confusion between introverted feeling (Fi) and extroverted feeling (Fe).

I am not saying you are not a INFJ, but the odds are really against you.

As I said before, I tested as a ISTP multiple times in college and had no reason to doubt it for the next 20 years, until midlife crisis hit and I needed to find myself. But I really had put up hige defenses due to childhood, and these defenses made it near impossible to see myself.

I thought I was severely introverted, focused on tangibe facts, and extremely logical. Of course, it was pretty opposiite of how I lived my life, as I was outgoing, people oriented, abstract, and looking for meaning and understanding. I worked in a field with lots of introverts and such and never noticed that they were much more introverted than me and much less social.

Childhood makes a huge impact on cognitive development and few exit fully formed with clear self understanding.

Additionally, some type theorists set forth the idea that we develop Dom first then Inferior, that a struggle occurs between the two during early adulthood, that hopefully results in the inferior being incorporated into the dominant.

Also, for many people, the tertiary is easy to see.

I don't know your type. I would recommend doing some of the questionnaires and posting the info here.

 

[Grace]

So to me, you seem to prefer Fe/Ti over Fi/Te. Learning about others and making that your own interest makes you in the FJ/TP field.

Do you like small talk? Are you more of a doer? Does talking sound more exciting than going to sports or is it the other way around?

Oh and on the movies.. I'm so terrible with favorite tangible things... hmmmm... I do like LOTR for a classic film. (Samwise Gamgee is my favorite character in the film, I think Frodo is more likable in the books)

Another good film is In Your Eyes, I liked it because it was about two people who connect to each other in a psychic way and were both framed as mental patients and they had to run away to Canada. It made me cry because I understand what it's like to not be understood for who you are.

I do *not* like small talk. I try to ask people interesting questions instead of surfacey ones. Am I a doer? Yes and no. I feel like I do what needs to be done but don't go above and beyond. Like, I'm pretty lazy and when I have free time I just want to watch movies or read or chill. But, when I was in school I made sure I knew exactly the minimum effort I'd need to put into a class to get a good grade and then I'd do it. I hate sports so anything is more exciting to me than that. I love talking though.

LOTR is great but I still haven't read the books. I will need to check out In Your Eyes. I've never seen it before. What are you studying in school?

 

[Forever]

I do *not* like small talk. I try to ask people interesting questions instead of surfacey ones. Am I a doer? Yes and no. I feel like I do what needs to be done but don't go above and beyond. Like, I'm pretty lazy and when I have free time I just want to watch movies or read or chill. But, when I was in school I made sure I knew exactly the minimum effort I'd need to put into a class to get a good grade and then I'd do it. I hate sports so anything is more exciting to me than that. I love talking though.

LOTR is great but I still haven't read the books. I will need to check out In Your Eyes. I've never seen it before. What are you studying in school?

IxFJ or IxTP then? Haha same here! Sorry you weren't interested in my heavy response. ._.

Yeah, it's on Netflix!

I'm studying biochemistry with maybe an idea of going back to philosophy. They're both so interesting!

What about you?

 

[Grace]

Sorry you weren't interested in my heavy response. ._.

If you're saying this because I didn't write a long response back, it's only because I had a purring kitten on my chest which makes it hard to type. :wobble: In school I studied a million things. I went from education to english to statistics to anthropology to psychology. I got my undergrad in Psychology with a minor in statistics then went back to school to get a graduate degree in education with an emphasis in language arts. I now teach first grade but I don't really love it and am wondering if 28 is too late to start a new career. But I don't even know what I'd want to do. So for now I am teaching.

What type is your mom? Do you live with her/near her currently? Why aren't you close with your sister? Does Fi clash with Fe? I've noticed that sometimes I find Fi people to be a little too sweet for me. What do you mean the people on this forum are so image oriented? Are you referring to the fact that everyone wants to be specific types whether or not they actually are that type? If so, that is one of the reasons why I keep trying to figure out my type because I would like to be honest about myself but I truly struggle with figuring out which type fits me best. Plus, on every test I take, I score very much in the middle for everything (except on some tests I show as a fairly strong introvert).