Am I an INTP or a depressed INFJ?

[Quark]

Hi all

As this is my first post I hate to start things off on a somber note, but I've been puzzled about my MBTI type for quite a while and I think it has to do with the fact that I've been severely depressed. While most of you probably associate depression with feelings of melancholy or guilt, in my case it's presented as a complete absence of emotion that has robbed me even of the ability to feel sadness. Unsurprisingly this emotional detachment - which includes a lack of empathy - has caused me to gravitate towards IxTx type descriptions, and I have typed myself as an INTP because I prefer Ti over Te and I am absolutely sure that I am an intuitive. No matter how much I try to accept that this type makes sense, however, I cannot seem to internalize it as part of my identity. It feels alien, somehow. Although I may be crippled emotionally, for instance, I cannot consent to the claim that ideas are more important than people - I believe that the happiness of other human beings is the most important goal in life, it just happens to be a goal I fall consistently short of. I feel a deep obligation to humanity despite feeling nothing for the people who love me most, and this strikes me as the caricature of an (admittedly unhealthy) Fe user. I am not sure if the INTP's inferior Fe would exert this sort of effect. Even in my day to day interactions with people, I am much more considerate and socially savvy than the INTP's descriptions suggest, and it often turns out I am aware of other people's feelings far before they share them openly.

I started reading about INFJ's as they also use both Ti and Fe, and I immediately felt more of an affiliation than I did towards the INTP descriptions. Although I clearly fall short of the warmth and generosity that one would expect from an auxiliary Fe user, part of me wonders if there is a warm and generous person locked beneath whatever I have become. I recognize that this could be wishful thinking. After all, I've been depressed for so long that I have almost no recollection of what I used to think like or feel like - I was really just a kid back then. But I don't want to be a robot forever, and if I knew that the essence of who I am was something greater than just that, maybe it would give me more hope for the future.

Do you think it's possible that a person can 'change types' for a period where they are depressed, then? And can they revert back to their former selves once they get better?

As to the INTP/INFJ distinction in particular: Is it possible that I am just an INTP with a well-developed inferior Fe? And how would that differ from an INFJ with an underdeveloped auxiliary Fe?

Thanks for your time, folks.

 

[pluviophile]

It's funny that you said robot because I call that my robot mode. I used to look forward to robot mode after too long in overwhelmingly bad feelings mode, but I got stuck there for about two years once and now I fight it. I know you didn't ask this, but I got out of it by spending time being grateful. I couldn't find anything to be thankful for except grass and trees and stars so that was pretty much it for a long time. It helped though, I think. Then again, who knows. Later I found out I have Bipolar Disorder, so maybe I was just crazy manic grass tree star lady hahahaha.

To answer what you did ask. I don't think your type ever changes. I've read a lot of stuff that says that when you're under stress you use your inferior functions more, but not really in a good way. Maybe it's the same. There's lots to google about that. Then there's stuff that talks about shadow functions, but I haven't even looked at that.

I do know an INTP with well developed Fe. Maybe I'm misinterpreting what you're saying in the robot place, but I don't really think INTPs are robots. They do have feelings and they can be really caring, just like any other type. Maybe they aren't going to be a natural counselor or something, idk, but they aren't robots. Not caring about people you know seems more likely to be another symptoms of depression than something related to type, imo. However, I'm an amateur.

I don't know, but it doesn't seem like you could accurately type yourself when you are really depressed and don't remember anything else.

I hope you find your way out of depression land soon.

 

[rmrf]

The MBTI type is a hierarchy of the dominance of your Jungian function in your cognitive realm. All 8 play a role in everyone, regardless of type, but some are used a lot more than others. They describe in terms of tendency and rules of thumb, rather than a concrete and consistent definition. I see the MBTI type as a description of your 'default' or 'expected' style, i.e what you are like most (but not necessarily all) of the time.

INTP doesn't mean an absence of feeling; an essential component of the human condition.

Some more 'soft' INTPs can be quite emotionally connected with people, and thus can resemble Fe, but what is often the case, is that your Fe roles are being facilitated through Ti. You feel things in the context of thinking about them. The fact that you are aware of being depressed, yet feel 'nothing', I can relate to.

INTPs when depressed (speaking first hand) usually present with a sense of lethargy, apathy, and lack of motivation, a sense of numbness and watching from third person. The dysphoria presents as negativity of thoughts, pessimism, rumination etc, as opposed to crying etc. You start focusing on ways things have/will go wrong and why things won't get better.

INTPs can sometimes be good at having an understanding of other people's feelings through their use of Ti and Ne to analyse and evaluate people's emotions by creating a regression of how emotions and behaviour correspond. This differs from the use of Fe; Fe is associated with feeling the emotion on someone's face from looking at a photo for example. The Ti/Ne approach makes inferences from pairing behaviour-feeling.

I am quite generous, and understanding of people, despite very little Fe, because being an understanding ear, acting overly 'nice' and being generous is how I know how to bond with people, as opposed to the Fe types who can create emotional bonds without really doing anything. INTPs often feel the need to turn the other cheek and be overly accepting of people's behaviours (going with the flow) in social situations because they are uncomfortable and pragmatically 'lazy' with taking the lead and standing up

Your sense of not knowing your self, an enigma around your identity also points to INTP, as an INFJ whose primary function is Introverted Intuition would be quite familiar with working out 'how they tick'.

I'm rambling a lot, so will end here. I can relate to most of what you said; I'm quite confident you are INTP

 

[Quark]

Thank you both for the detailed and considerate replies. It seems I have been fooled by some excessively one-dimensional descriptions of INTP's from elsewhere on the net.

 

[baccheion]

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