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  1. #21
    Unapologetic being Evolving Transparency's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by skylights View Post
    To explain this, as a Social-first you are blatantly aware of your social surroundings and are very aware of your presence in them. So a Soc-dom won't be able to just pass through a crowd of people they know and ignore them without feeling keenly aware that they're ignoring them. So even though maybe I'd prefer to just socialize with my boyfriend at a certain point (and sometimes in social settings I do choose to hang behind him and let him take the lead), I'd feel very irresponsible and kind of like a jerk if I didn't acknowledge others who I had relationships with that were in my environment. It's essentially a compulsion. So that still might bother you, of course, but at least you can see how it's not really a voluntary sort of thing. It's not generally for the pure enjoyment of it (though it can be enjoyable), but because of a sense of "need". I kind of think of the variants as different pairs of glasses we put on that highlight different things. For the Sx-dom, certain priorities light up; for the Soc-dom and Sp-dom other priorities light up. Soc glasses just make you painfully aware of the environmental interactions going on, the who and what and how. Sx glasses make you painfully aware of the quality/chemistry/intensity of those interactions, I think.
    Wow this is really good!

    I love the glasses metaphor!


    Ehhh. Again, maybe somewhat, but it's too superficial. Attractiveness is so complex and there are so many levels it takes place on. And again no self-respecting Social with e4 in their tritype is going to take kindly to the idea of just going along with a trend. I just don't think that being mainstream is a Social thing. Maybe Socials are more aware and attuned to it, and maybe there are more Soc-doms who are like that, but I don't think all the connotations of superficiality and normalcy and fads being linked to Soc-dom is accurate.
    Hmm. I think it's just my experience then. That makes sense.
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  2. #22
    Senior Member The Great One's Avatar
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    @Urarienev

    Hmm...socials are def not as intense about sex, ime. But I'm not sure how they are when working a room.

    I know that they like to keep the group positive. But I never paid attention to their other characteristics...
    No, socials are generally not as intense about sex, and I hate this about them. Also, the more extraverted socials often do work the room. Well unless they are like a social 5 or something, they are generally nerding it up on World of Warcraft, lol.

    Yea, I don't wear a lot of make up. Hmm. lol I don't think that I fit with this sx thing in that regard. I dress up to feel sexy for me actually. Now that I think about it more. I mean, if I know I'm going on a date or going to meet a guy, I will probably put more energy into it. But I would put just as much energy into that as I would for going out dancing, just for myself. I probably have to think about this some more. This is a hard one.
    I think that this is an Fi vs. Fe thing. I've noticed that Fi users tend to market themselves based on how they feel about themselves and Fe users tend to market themselves towards other people.

    That sounds more 3-ish I think.
    Yeah I have both a strong 3 and 6 fix, but I'm not sure which is my core type, probably 6.

  3. #23
    Senior Member The Great One's Avatar
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    @skylights

    Yes, I am sure you are very correct about that.
    I know I'm correct about it. I also am a 9 fixer and I seek it too.

    Lol, yeah. I feel the opposite, like it's too fast for me. I need time for my whole self, subconscious and all, to make a shift on that scale of magnitude. But I'm glad that there are others like you who are on your page, and others like me who are on mine. My Sp/So needed even more time than I did. And my So/Sp friend is like molasses.
    I just connect to someone fast. I want someone that also connects fast. I feel like I have to wait a long time for sx seconds to connect and I don't even try with sx last types, because it just won't work. I know it won't.

    This does sound Social and 6 to me. (Not necessarily Soc-dom)
    Ah once again my variants are a mystery.

    To explain this, as a Social-first you are blatantly aware of your social surroundings and are very aware of your presence in them. So a Soc-dom won't be able to just pass through a crowd of people they know and ignore them without feeling keenly aware that they're ignoring them. So even though maybe I'd prefer to just socialize with my boyfriend at a certain point (and sometimes in social settings I do choose to hang behind him and let him take the lead), I'd feel very irresponsible and kind of like a jerk if I didn't acknowledge others who I had relationships with that were in my environment. It's essentially a compulsion. So that still might bother you, of course, but at least you can see how it's not really a voluntary sort of thing. It's not generally for the pure enjoyment of it (though it can be enjoyable), but because of a sense of "need". I kind of think of the variants as different pairs of glasses we put on that highlight different things. For the Sx-dom, certain priorities light up; for the Soc-dom and Sp-dom other priorities light up. Soc glasses just make you painfully aware of the environmental interactions going on, the who and what and how. Sx glasses make you painfully aware of the quality/chemistry/intensity of those interactions, I think.
    I am also very much aware of my relationships with people and would feel rude if I didn't acknowledge them as well. However, I generally just use social relationships as a tool to get to the top. I generally have 2 categories of people in my mind: 1) People that I use as social contacts just to get ahead in life and that I generally don't give a fuck about. 2) People that I feel very close to and that I love and would do anything for. Those two groups of people are just about it. I will acknowledge people at a party for example that I need to keep a relationship with in order to gain something out of it. However, I generally will keep it brief and then the rest of the time I will be hitting on hot women at a party or I will be hanging out with a friend. I generally talk in depth to maybe two or three people at a party and that's it and will have brief conversations with everyone else.
    I might assign "awareness of trends" to Social, but not necessarily following trends. Any Social with e4 in their tritype isn't going to be particularly fond of just going with the mainstream, after all, and I know there are plenty of others. I think Socials are just more likely to be aware which trends they are picking and choosing to follow.
    True, e4 does do that. Also, I notice that sx second ads it's on sense of swag to the social trends as well.


    I do think there can also be a significant social component to relationships, at least longer-term, more permanent ones. Sexual attraction is important to me personally because I do want a sexual relationship, but also because I want a sexual relationship to be a part of a larger, more encompassing romantic relationship that also evolves into a permanent relationship and continuation of my family. For me it's a facet of the bigger picture. I feel like that's a very Soc > Sx way to look at things. I am fairly sure my Sp/So boyfriend (Sp > Soc > Sx) also feels similar.
    I don't think I've EVER for a second thought how my family would accept a woman. I just think, well she's my beautiful lady that I love and care for and if other's don't like her, then to hell with them.

    I think you're generally right about sx-last, but I also do think that all of these things - to want to be attractive, to want a mate, and to be sexual - are fairly fundamental to the human experience. Of course there are some people (asexuals, eg) for whom this does not count, but in general, I think it is fairly common.
    I guess the reasons why someone would want those things also would come into play.

  4. #24
    i love skylights's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Urarienev View Post
    Wow this is really good!

    I love the glasses metaphor!
    Thank you!! Yeah it just kind of hit me... I think of them as lighting up different "colors" of things... I am such a visual thinker, lol...


    Hmm. I think it's just my experience then. That makes sense.
    Well and I will be the first one to admit that I do know Soc-doms who are kind of like this. But it's funny, because it's not always really consistent.

    Like I know an INFJ Soc-dom, and she always buys these popular knockoff celebrity perfumes that a friend of hers makes. She's crazy about the newest scents. And she's always keeping up with the who/what/when/where at our workplace. But then she wears 90s-style clothing and is clueless about current events.

    Or my ENFP Soc/Sp friend, who's a classic sorority girl and went to a preppy private school and wears stereotypical preppy white girl clothes, but her life is really all about her family and her dogs. She's pretty quiet and a dork in a lot of ways. And she has all these funny scattered strong likes and dislikes, such as watching 4+ hours of the Olympics a day if they're on TV, or hating people touching her hair. You'd think from some of her outward presentation she's just a shallow princess but she's actually smart and quirky.

    I dunno. It sort of seems like we see these things outwardly (Sp/Soc/Sx concerns), and maybe they look stupid or shallow to people of other variants or stackings because they don't really understand them. Like a non-Sx-dom could look at an Sx-dom and wonder why the hell they're blowing so much energy on something so transient and potentially destructive.

  5. #25
    Unapologetic being Evolving Transparency's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by skylights View Post
    Thank you!! Yeah it just kind of hit me... I think of them as lighting up different "colors" of things... I am such a visual thinker, lol...
    You prolly got yourself some Ne there




    Well and I will be the first one to admit that I do know Soc-doms who are kind of like this. But it's funny, because it's not always really consistent.

    Like I know an INFJ Soc-dom, and she always buys these popular knockoff celebrity perfumes that a friend of hers makes. She's crazy about the newest scents. And she's always keeping up with the who/what/when/where at our workplace. But then she wears 90s-style clothing and is clueless about current events.

    Or my ENFP Soc/Sp friend, who's a classic sorority girl and went to a preppy private school and wears stereotypical preppy white girl clothes, but her life is really all about her family and her dogs. She's pretty quiet and a dork in a lot of ways. And she has all these funny scattered strong likes and dislikes, such as watching 4+ hours of the Olympics a day if they're on TV, or hating people touching her hair. You'd think from some of her outward presentation she's just a shallow princess but she's actually smart and quirky.

    I dunno. It sort of seems like we see these things outwardly (Sp/Soc/Sx concerns), and maybe they look stupid or shallow to people of other variants or stackings because they don't really understand them. Like a non-Sx-dom could look at an Sx-dom and wonder why the hell they're blowing so much energy on something so transient and potentially destructive.
    Yeah I think that people just need to be reminded that we don't all have the same compulsions lol
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  6. #26
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    Quote Originally Posted by The Great One View Post
    However, as an Sx dom, my precedence is on being sexually attractive. Right now, I have a gagging problem that keeps me from being able to do anaerobic exercise because I throw up every time I work out. I am soon to get a full-time job though, and get health insurance, so I am soon to get this problem solved. This problem drives me absolutely insane because I can't exercise, and as a result I am fat. I HATE BEING FAT! Every time I look in the mirror, I am disgusted right now and it's a problem. I've noticed however, that I am not as upset with the fact that I have a physical health problem or the fact that being fat is unhealthy, but I am much more upset by the fact that I am unattractive.
    As for the bolded. Possible you are just trying to work out too hard? Try to reduce the load a bit and see if that works.

    Also, you can lose weight very well through aerobic exercise, so the throwing up from anaerobic exercise isn't a good excuse if you do really want to be slim instead of being fat.

    PS: I'm just trying to help here.



    Quote Originally Posted by The Great One View Post
    However, I often question whether I am sx/so or sx/sp. I don't feel as though I need to "fit in" so to say. However, I do tend to know what the social trends are. I am very active on Facebook and I tend to watch celebrity gossip shows such as TMZ quite often. I don't think that I do this to check up on what's going on socially though. I think that I do this to fantasize about what it would be like to live the lifestyles of the rich and famous. I've always wanted to be ubberly successful: kind of successful doesn't cut it for me, and I need loads of success. I need to have lots of money, gorgeous women around me, a very nice house, a nice car, etc. Watching celebrity shows kind of shows me what that kind of life would be like, and therefore I believe that I use these shows as a way to fantasize.
    Haha I used to question sx/so vs sx/sp for myself. I figured sx/sp in the end because I'm more aware of sp than soc and it's simple and causes no issues, while the soc stuff is just such complicated crap. You sound like sx/so though, over sx/sp. (Going by that stuff about how you were trying to do french fries and also going by what scared you there. And by the lot of social thingies you mentioned in this thread.)


    Quote Originally Posted by skylights View Post
    To explain this, as a Social-first you are blatantly aware of your social surroundings and are very aware of your presence in them. So a Soc-dom won't be able to just pass through a crowd of people they know and ignore them without feeling keenly aware that they're ignoring them. So even though maybe I'd prefer to just socialize with my boyfriend at a certain point (and sometimes in social settings I do choose to hang behind him and let him take the lead), I'd feel very irresponsible and kind of like a jerk if I didn't acknowledge others who I had relationships with that were in my environment. It's essentially a compulsion. So that still might bother you, of course, but at least you can see how it's not really a voluntary sort of thing. It's not generally for the pure enjoyment of it (though it can be enjoyable), but because of a sense of "need". I kind of think of the variants as different pairs of glasses we put on that highlight different things. For the Sx-dom, certain priorities light up; for the Soc-dom and Sp-dom other priorities light up. Soc glasses just make you painfully aware of the environmental interactions going on, the who and what and how. Sx glasses make you painfully aware of the quality/chemistry/intensity of those interactions, I think.
    Thanks for that cool description! It just confirms soc-last for me even more. My soc "glasses" get put on relatively rarely and even then I feel pretty antagonistic. Having the sp-glasses on is a state that's neutral, simple, somewhat boring but no real trouble either. And sx-glasses haha you described that so well.


    Social people want to be a part of something, they want social acceptance, they want to be included in the world, they want to fit in, etc.
    Just maybe this contrast I'm going to present here helps OP about sx/so vs sx/sp plus maybe I'm wrong anyway about my variants huh. So, this stuff in my case is something I would definitely like to have, I just don't have the ability to actively do so whatsoever. Does that make sense? Does that sound like soc-last?

    OP on the other hand seems to be not only much more aware of these things but is much more interested in and driven by them and consequently much more adept at this stuff.


    I would assume e8.
    Well see that explains her intensity :P


    Anyway TGO... point being... I don't know, at one point I thought Sp/Sx for you but now maybe Sx/So. I just don't see you having that high of an intensity level. It seems like you want intensity but on here you don't come across as intense. And I'm not really sure how to rectify that.
    I agree about so > sp for OP. I haven't tried figuring out the place of sx for him but one note, just because in a few forum posts he doesn't seem intense it doesn't mean a thing, at all. Sorry if that's trivial info haha but I find it gets neglected way too often. IRL stuff is different than online stuff.

  7. #27
    The Dark Lord The Wailing Specter's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by The Great One View Post
    1)Yes I have VERY STRONG Fe, and I believe that this makes me want to get along with others and to not offend them and to not lose my good standing with them. Also, this makes me think that I am more 9 fixed now. I looked up the 693 descriptions and they all elude to the fact that 693 tri-types tend to be very diplomatic and tend to want to keep their good standing with others, and to want to keep up a good image to people. It also says that they almost always type as core 3's. So this explains a lot.

    2) Interesting? So you say that you don't devote much time to being sexually attractive? I find this peculiar because Naranjo says that the need to be sexually attractive is both a Sp and an Sx thing. In fact, typewatch (who is full of shit) tried to convince me that it's unanimously an Sp thing, and Sx doesn't care about it as much. I knew that this was a lie. However, it seems that many Sp doms wind up being attractive because they often are very invested in their health, and as a result often diet and exercise to stay healthy. This in turn gives them a slim and healthy physique and makes them look more sexually attractive. However, I find that many Sp doms that are healthy but yet they still don't look that great are still happy because their goals of being healthy are still accomplished despite the fact.

    However, as an Sx dom, my precedence is on being sexually attractive. Right now, I have a gagging problem that keeps me from being able to do anaerobic exercise because I throw up every time I work out. I am soon to get a full-time job though, and get health insurance, so I am soon to get this problem solved. This problem drives me absolutely insane because I can't exercise, and as a result I am fat. I HATE BEING FAT! Every time I look in the mirror, I am disgusted right now and it's a problem. I've noticed however, that I am not as upset with the fact that I have a physical health problem or the fact that being fat is unhealthy, but I am much more upset by the fact that I am unattractive.

    It's really funny because I am always upset by things that could harm my level of physical attractiveness. For instance, I recently was cooking french fries myself for the first time at my friend's house. I had never tried to cook the fries before and my father told me how to cook them. Anyway, he told me to buy this hot canola oil to cook them in and to just let it heat up. So I let it heat up and heat up and nothing happened: it didn't bubble or anything. However, I then turned up the temperature because it didn't look hot enough. However, it still didn't boil. I then turned up the temperature again, and still no boil. At this point, I got frustrated and asked my father what to do. He then told me that the water didn't start to boil or sizzle until you threw some french fries in. So I then threw some fries in and was kind of careless. The grease was so hot that when I threw the fries in, they turned jet black and went to charcoal within like 3 seconds of putting them in. Also, when I threw the fries a great deal of the grease came flying out and spilled out of the pot. The grease came VERY close to hitting my stomach and this terrified me.

    My so/sp friend was with me at the time, and he said, "Wow, that grease was super hot". If that grease came into contact with your stomach, you would be in excruciating pain and would have to go to the hospital. That would hurt like hell." I knew this as well, and I wasn't fond of the idea. However, what really terrified me wasn't the fact that the grease would harm me so much, it was the fact that the grease would most likely have disfigured me. My stomach would have never looked the same if that grease hit me. My stomach would look burned and would have been terribly scarred. If that happened, then I would have felt in my mind that I could never be sexy ever again. This would have been enough to drive me absolutely off the deep end, and I may have even become a serious drug addict because of this or even have committed suicide. I am much more afraid of things harming my appearance than of them actually hurting me.



    I wonder if you are a so/sx 6w7? After all, you said that you relate to the dorky, phobic guy in most comedy shows that gets picked on. To tell the truth the dorky, fearful guy in most comedy shows is usually a so/sx or a sp/so 6w7, but suprisingly is almost never a so/sp 6w7. So this leads me to believe that you, in fact, aren't so/sp, but more likely sp/so or so/sx.
    perhaps.

    So/sx is what I typed as until a lady said So/sx doesn't even care about safety...
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  8. #28
    Senior Member The Great One's Avatar
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    @valaki
    As for the bolded. Possible you are just trying to work out too hard? Try to reduce the load a bit and see if that works.

    Also, you can lose weight very well through aerobic exercise, so the throwing up from anaerobic exercise isn't a good excuse if you do really want to be slim instead of being fat.

    PS: I'm just trying to help here.
    No, it's not that I am working out too hard, it's that I have some type of physical health problem. I really need a couple tests like an upper Gi, and an upper endoscopy to really find out what's wrong with me. I just can't afford it right now.

    Haha I used to question sx/so vs sx/sp for myself. I figured sx/sp in the end because I'm more aware of sp than soc and it's simple and causes no issues, while the soc stuff is just such complicated crap. You sound like sx/so though, over sx/sp. (Going by that stuff about how you were trying to do french fries and also going by what scared you there. And by the lot of social thingies you mentioned in this thread.)
    Yeah I'm leaning more towards sx/so then sx/sp at the moment, but I'm not 100% sure. I will say that being aware of sp issues was something that was developed though. I'm always been aware of intensity within myself and magnetism towards others, and I've also been aware of social relationships between myself and others. So self-pres last would make sense.

    Just maybe this contrast I'm going to present here helps OP about sx/so vs sx/sp plus maybe I'm wrong anyway about my variants huh. So, this stuff in my case is something I would definitely like to have, I just don't have the ability to actively do so whatsoever. Does that make sense? Does that sound like soc-last?

    OP on the other hand seems to be not only much more aware of these things but is much more interested in and driven by them and consequently much more adept at this stuff.
    What do you mean that you don't know how to actively do so what-so-ever? How can you not do this?
    @skylights

    Anyway TGO... point being... I don't know, at one point I thought Sp/Sx for you but now maybe Sx/So. I just don't see you having that high of an intensity level. It seems like you want intensity but on here you don't come across as intense. And I'm not really sure how to rectify that.
    Why can you not see me having a high enough intensity level to be sx/so?
    @Magic Qwan

    perhaps.

    So/sx is what I typed as until a lady said So/sx doesn't even care about safety...
    Yeah safety doesn't seem to be a high priority to them.

  9. #29
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    Quote Originally Posted by The Great One View Post
    No, it's not that I am working out too hard, it's that I have some type of physical health problem. I really need a couple tests like an upper Gi, and an upper endoscopy to really find out what's wrong with me. I just can't afford it right now.
    (Not trying to argue here) Are you sure you do have a health problem? If there is nothing specific to go on, other than the exercise problem, I would say it's really unlikely. Now of course if you have more specifics on it, forget what I said then.

    Oh yeah and as I said, to lose weight, you can still try aerobic exercise *hint hint* Unless you do explicitly have a health problem preventing you from that too


    Yeah I'm leaning more towards sx/so then sx/sp at the moment, but I'm not 100% sure. I will say that being aware of sp issues was something that was developed though. I'm always been aware of intensity within myself and magnetism towards others, and I've also been aware of social relationships between myself and others. So self-pres last would make sense.
    I'm the same way with soc, some awareness of it was developed later.


    What do you mean that you don't know how to actively do so what-so-ever? How can you not do this?
    Well I was responding to this: "Social people want to be a part of something, they want social acceptance, they want to be included in the world, they want to fit in, etc."

    And right, you understood, I can't actively work towards this. To break this down into more specifics; I do like the idea of social acceptance and inclusion, however I cannot do anything to try and fit in because I lack enough awareness, and then some of what seems to be required feels limiting to me; for example I can't force a social mask on myself that would help me achieve this. Btw, I do have automatic awareness of some soc stuff but I often take the antagonistic stance by default.

    So, I will be a part of social interaction only if others are explicitly including me and that can only happen if they are taking the active initiative, not me. It did happen before and it was pretty nice so it's not that I'm completely antagonistic towards the idea of social stuff.

    Note this is specifically about group-related interactions, I am fine with sx-related interactions. Those can even happen inside a group, with me being unaware of the social group as such or not unaware but keeping a "don't care" attitude.

    I guess you asking these questions points towards to you being sx/so over sx/sp. You could even be so/sx but no way in hell you're soc-last :P

  10. #30
    Senior Member The Great One's Avatar
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    @valaki

    (Not trying to argue here) Are you sure you do have a health problem? If there is nothing specific to go on, other than the exercise problem, I would say it's really unlikely. Now of course if you have more specifics on it, forget what I said then.

    Oh yeah and as I said, to lose weight, you can still try aerobic exercise *hint hint* Unless you do explicitly have a health problem preventing you from that too
    I've had this problem for 7 years now and I have no clue what it is. I'm about to get a full-time job with insurance and maybe I can figure out what the problem is then.

    Oh yeah and as I said, to lose weight, you can still try aerobic exercise *hint hint* Unless you do explicitly have a health problem preventing you from that too
    It's not a hard enough exercise to get the body that I want, so I don't give a shit.

    I'm the same way with soc, some awareness of it was developed later.
    But I have strong self-pres now. I guess it came from years and years of living in poverty. Now it seems that my whole life is about making money. However, I guess poverty will do that to you.

    Well I was responding to this: "Social people want to be a part of something, they want social acceptance, they want to be included in the world, they want to fit in, etc."

    And right, you understood, I can't actively work towards this. To break this down into more specifics; I do like the idea of social acceptance and inclusion, however I cannot do anything to try and fit in because I lack enough awareness, and then some of what seems to be required feels limiting to me; for example I can't force a social mask on myself that would help me achieve this. Btw, I do have automatic awareness of some soc stuff but I often take the antagonistic stance by default.

    So, I will be a part of social interaction only if others are explicitly including me and that can only happen if they are taking the active initiative, not me. It did happen before and it was pretty nice so it's not that I'm completely antagonistic towards the idea of social stuff.

    Well I was responding to this: "Social people want to be a part of something, they want social acceptance, they want to be included in the world, they want to fit in, etc."

    And right, you understood, I can't actively work towards this. To break this down into more specifics; I do like the idea of social acceptance and inclusion, however I cannot do anything to try and fit in because I lack enough awareness, and then some of what seems to be required feels limiting to me; for example I can't force a social mask on myself that would help me achieve this. Btw, I do have automatic awareness of some soc stuff but I often take the antagonistic stance by default.
    So you have no idea how to navigate the social arena then? Wow, this comes very natural to me. This is not hard for me at all.


    I guess you asking these questions points towards to you being sx/so over sx/sp. You could even be so/sx but no way in hell you're soc-last :P
    Yeah this is what everyone says that I am not social last. God I hope I'm not so/sp though. I'm gonna kill myself if I'm so/sp, they just anger me.

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