[ESFP] Friend Zoned by an ESFP?

[enfpjosei]

I'm an ENFP and I have been dating an ESFP guy for over 4 months now and we have great chemistry. we share the same interests, never run out of things to talk about, we always have fun together and we're both so spontaneous and just being around him makes me so happy and it's like i have something to look forward to every weekend. So it's only natural that I fell in love with his sweet personality and being around him makes me so happy.

We spend almost every weekend together and I know that he's not seeing anyone else because he told me so and showed me everything on his phone (i didn't even have to ask) and he basically proved that I'm the only girl he's seeing. He touches me from time to time (like playing with my hair, massaging my shoulders, hug me, stare at me for a very long time) but it's weird because we never held hands or did anything more than that, but we really enjoy each others' company and if we both have free time, we will definitely see each other.

All of the sudden 2 weeks ago he asked me what I thought about us, and I casually said I like being with him... But then he told me he's afraid i am wasting my time with him cause he might not be able to give me what i expect from him.... I told him, yes I do like him as more than a friend and i am happy just being around him.. And then he tells me that he cares about me and likes me very much and that I have become his source of energy and motivation, but for now he wants us to be just friends, especially now he is super busy with his work..., but he also said if it's okay with me, he wants us to keep seeing each other... when he told me this he had such a serious look on his face and i knew that it was hard for him to say that. I told him it's very hard for me to contain my feelings for him, but if that's what he wants then I am willing to compromise for him.. after that incident I sort of took a step back from him, but then he keeps texting me and asking me out again, it was as if that conversation never happened.

because there is no other girl in his life (as he told me and i chose to trust him), and if he cannot commit then why does he spend all his free time with me and makes me feel all fluffy inside despite knowing how i feel about him? My question is, is this ESFP stringing me along? or is this just a very ESFP thing to not be able to commit to a relationship? or does this ESFP not see me as anything more than a friend?

just fyi i plan on relocating to another country next month and i am super excited cause it's gonna be a new adventure.. I know he keeps mentioning the fact that I will leave soon, but when i see him i somehow feel like if he asked me to stay i would... As an ENFP and an ESFP we are both spontaneous and we both like adventures, but I know he is far more grounded than me and thinks very realistically while I always talk about theories of the future...

In a way i think that what we have is great and in another way i feel like i have been totally friend zoned... but i can't help but fall in love with him every time we are together and basically i really care about him and i cannot imagine myself being with anyone else but him right now... i know many of my friends think what we have is not normal, but i think its also a very ENFP thing for me to do to hold on to these kind of people and keep thinking how things could be better...

advice anyone? I would really love to hear what an ESFP think about this situation.

Thanks and sorry for the looooooong post...

 

[21%]

just fyi i plan on relocating to another country next month and i am super excited cause it's gonna be a new adventure..

Is this going to be forever or is this a short-term thing? If you have no plans to move back soon, I'd really advise against getting into a serious relationship, because it's going to be very, very difficult. I think this is also his concern as well.

 

[Jaq]

Is this going to be forever or is this a short-term thing? If you have no plans to move back soon, I'd really advise against getting into a serious relationship, because it's going to be very, very difficult. I think this is also his concern as well.

I agree with this poster.

 

[enfpjosei]

Is this going to be forever or is this a short-term thing? If you have no plans to move back soon, I'd really advise against getting into a serious relationship, because it's going to be very, very difficult. I think this is also his concern as well.

Well I haven't figured it out yet. As a typical ENFP I have this urgency to do things like travel and make the world a better place - but for me personally I don't think that a long distance relationship is a problem and if it gets serious and even if in the end I had to sacrifice my whole career for someone I am okay with that I think.

Btw, I was in a 2 yr LDR before with an ISFJ when I was studying abroad and I did everything in my power to actually see him as much as I can - although no matter how hard I try, eventually he broke up with me (after I moved back) due to incompatibility... But I did try real hard though... ^-^;

 

[wolfy]

He probably likes you but you are moving away. A LDR is a hassle and I wouldn't recommend it unless the relationship is already established. SFP need to have their partner close. It all depends on how long before then... why don't you suggest seeing how things go until you leave?