First, let me paraphrase by saying I love my mother, I really do. She's funny, she's dynamic, she's a fantastic public speaker, and she's one of the best teachers I've ever had the opportunity to meet. She is an amazing artist and she creates, on average, five to ten beautiful/large paintings a month. She's also been a teacher (K-through 12), an alchol/drug/rehab counselor, and for many years she was a teen runaway counselor.
But she can drive me nuts.
The hardest part in our relationship now, I think, is the superficiality of it. I care dearly for her but I don't feel like she "knows" or "gets" me - and I guess I feel the same about her. It's been nearly 40 years, and I can count on one hand the number of deep conversations we've had.
This is my question for you SP'ers out there: How can I deepen my relationship with my mother? How can I share my feelings with her before she overloads me with all the surface things going on in her life and our family's lives? How can I get her to open up to me, and tell me what's going on in *her* life?
Here's the kicker, though: Because she's been a counselor, if I want to "talk deep" she assumes I'm looking for answers to a problem. She jumps to the conclusion that I'm looking for a quick fix, when all I want to do is find out how she's feeling.
Anyway, here are a few of my concerns right now: She's getting older (65 in June) and she hates doctors. She hasn't gone in over 30 years unless it's been an emergency, and I think she has some kind of tumor in her stomach. Sometimes she starves herself and uses herbal medicine "cures" to take care of her health, but I'm afraid to breach the doctor subject with her because A)No insurance (she's semi-retired and works as a substitute teacher) and B)"Doctors don't know what they're doing."
Does anyone have any solutions for me?
Thanks for your help - I know this is a lot, but I'm worried that she's dancing around some major issues, and I don't want a simple solution to become a major issue later down the line.