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  1. #1
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    Default estp and friendship

    im an infp and have been friends with an estp (definitely estp) for almost a year now but we have known each other three years before. he was funny popular guy and i was (still is) loner quiet girl. he used to stare at me for ages before and after we became friends + it kinda freaked me out

    when i caught him staring he looked at the ceiling nervously or just carried on staring at me until i looked away. most of the year it was hard being friends because people didn't like popular and unpopular people talking. but he was always a loyal friend to me, never bullied me even though all his friends did it, sat next to me on the bus, even remembered my birthday.

    but now we are in our last year of school he is acting differently. on our first day back i was asked a question in class and he started laughing at me really loud and hysterically before i even answered?! (btw im a walking joke at school for poor grades and extreme shyness, im an easy target so when i am asked a question people snigger and laugh). i got the answer wrong because this estps laugh was so eratic it threw my concentration and hurt my feelings. than everyone else laughed too.

    then i thought i was being hypersensitive and just ignored it. but he hasn't spoken to me the whole week or anything like we were never friends. any estps remember when they were at school? would you have given in to peer pressure like that. my friend never did give into peer pressure before for a whole year so why start now?

    and whats with the constant staring do estps just like to stare. he stares at me alot in classes its very very uncomfortable especially as we are not talking anymore. his head is nervously looking around the room like a squirrel or like hes running from the police?.. but hes always glancing at me? he doesn't want to be my friend anymore but he's staring at me (he meant alot because i only have a hand full of friends).

    are estps loyal friends?
    i made him take the test loads of times and he came up as estp every time but he's not acting like one. i thought estps were loyal friends, didn't care what people thought? or am i wrong? it seems like he wants to be friends again or should i just move on from our friendship

  2. #2
    Whisky Old & Women Young Speed Gavroche's Avatar
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    As an ESTP, I can say that I'am definetly a loyal friend. Friendship is one of the most important thing for me and I'd prefer to die rather than betray a friend. Maybe it's because I'm a 6w7, but keep in mind that 6w7 is a very common type among ESTPs.
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    "Stereotypes about personality and gender turn out to be fairly accurate: ... On the binary Myers-Briggs measure, the thinking-feeling breakdown is about 30/70 for women versus 60/40 for men." ~ Bryan Caplan

  3. #3
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    Just be careful...and this is type aside. Just based on behaviour
    Im out, its been fun

  4. #4
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    I'd be careful around that guy, starers of any type can be stressful, even though I'm an ESTP, I've been labeled a laughing stock for not looking too different from my peers and being interested in similar things, but having a stronger personality than I let on and having enough imagination to not be afraid to be the first to step up to the bat if something seems like a fun challenge, like the smirking, glaring, and in some cases, outright ignoring, sometimes it really pushes my buttons, but I've learned not to let pushy personalities isolate me from social situations and not to let people bully me into toning my own efforts to succeed down so others trivial mistakes get swept under the rug, I'd pay attention to things like who tends to be around or in the background when this kind of thing goes on since for me, it started when a few people that everybody really liked weren't around anymore and people got bored, after a few frustrating months of it being an ongoing thing it clicked as to the timing

  5. #5
    Senior Member Mitsuko Souma's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Patricia Lavoie View Post
    im an infp and have been friends with an estp (definitely estp) for almost a year now but we have known each other three years before. he was funny popular guy and i was (still is) loner quiet girl. he used to stare at me for ages before and after we became friends + it kinda freaked me out

    when i caught him staring he looked at the ceiling nervously or just carried on staring at me until i looked away. most of the year it was hard being friends because people didn't like popular and unpopular people talking. but he was always a loyal friend to me, never bullied me even though all his friends did it, sat next to me on the bus, even remembered my birthday.

    but now we are in our last year of school he is acting differently. on our first day back i was asked a question in class and he started laughing at me really loud and hysterically before i even answered?! (btw im a walking joke at school for poor grades and extreme shyness, im an easy target so when i am asked a question people snigger and laugh). i got the answer wrong because this estps laugh was so eratic it threw my concentration and hurt my feelings. than everyone else laughed too.

    then i thought i was being hypersensitive and just ignored it. but he hasn't spoken to me the whole week or anything like we were never friends. any estps remember when they were at school? would you have given in to peer pressure like that. my friend never did give into peer pressure before for a whole year so why start now?

    and whats with the constant staring do estps just like to stare. he stares at me alot in classes its very very uncomfortable especially as we are not talking anymore. his head is nervously looking around the room like a squirrel or like hes running from the police?.. but hes always glancing at me? he doesn't want to be my friend anymore but he's staring at me (he meant alot because i only have a hand full of friends).

    are estps loyal friends?
    i made him take the test loads of times and he came up as estp every time but he's not acting like one. i thought estps were loyal friends, didn't care what people thought? or am i wrong? it seems like he wants to be friends again or should i just move on from our friendship
    My dad is an ESTP and I don't know how he is with friends of the opposite sex very much but putting type aside and going to his behavior... my guess is he lost his interest in you. Its a guess but I think he had a little schoolboy crush on you for sometime. Being nice even when his friends weren't is a big thing for anyone. It takes guts to not to do what your group of friends do for anyone. Now; he is conforming to his friends because I assume he doesn't see you that way anymore. The staring though; I see my dad stare at girls from time to time and type aside again; that is usually just a "guy thing." I also assume this is High School? If it is then he is still immature which could also be a factor of his "staring." Good luck.

  6. #6
    Senior Member Bamboo's Avatar
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    You're not going to find a type profile that says "these are the disloyal ones." MBTI won't tell you about that sort of thing. Individuals vary.

    It sounds like maybe on some level he likes you, but there may be many social pressure factors in play so he doesn't want to show it. In my opinion he's not a very worthwhile friend if he's going to treat you poorly, but from what's here he's probably motivated more by fear and anxiety to fit in than real malice.

    Even if you don't have a lot of friends, you might find that it's better to have good friends than ones who make you feel uncomfortable.
    Don't know how much it'll bend til it breaks.

  7. #7
    #KUWK Kierva's Avatar
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    It sounds like he's playing the hot and cold game with you.

    2 can play the game, and watch the ST freak out. I know if someone I like starts ignoring me, I freak out.
    C#2-C#5-F#5
    3 octaves, 2 notes and 1 semitone
    Supported range: F#2-F#4-C#5

  8. #8
    meinmeinmein! mmhmm's Avatar
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    he wants to see you naked.
    every normal man must be tempted, at times,
    to spit on his hands, hoist the black flag,
    and begin slitting throats.
    h.l. mencken

  9. #9
    Senior Member Bamboo's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by mmhmm View Post
    he wants to see you naked.
    this is probably true.
    Don't know how much it'll bend til it breaks.

  10. #10
    Junior Member Chickadee's Avatar
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    I am dating an estp, and he doesn't ever really stare at me. I don't think it's an estp "thing" to stare, probably just an individual thing. I would say he actually likes you, but he is probably too immature to handle these feelings, especially since you both run in difference circles. I would move on and try not to think about him. If he is being mean to you or unfriendly, just forget it and be strong with your own life. Ignore him It might prompt him to say whatever he has been meaning to say, whether it is good or bad. It -really- sounds like he wants to tell you something - but I could be reading too much into it. Either way, the strong thing is to ignore negative behavior and keep your chin up.
    Last edited by Chickadee; 10-13-2012 at 06:05 AM. Reason: grammar

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