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  1. #1
    Patron Saint Of Smileys Gloriana's Avatar
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    Default Is This Typical For An ESFP?

    I have a relatively new guy friend that I hang out with pretty often, he did a couple of intakes and came back as ESFP. I was just wondering what things about him are typical ESFP and what things are just HIM.

    1.) Is it pretty standard for ESFPs to be so damn charming that it's hard to say "No" to them even if you really effing want to?

    This guy is an insomniac (and so am I pretty much) and wanted me to go to Wal-Mart with him at 4AM one morning because he hadn't seen anyone for 10 straight hours and he was (I quote him) "Fucking dying". I had said no twice, but he kept coming back with megawatt enthusiasm and this disgustingly irresistible good nature in his tone until I caved.

    He also seems to have this knack to make friends with everyone, everywhere. Once I was hunting through bins of used video games at an EB while he talked about Madden Football with the two clerks. Fifteen minutes later they were exchanging email addresses, and they were all hanging out at this bar/arcade for beers the next weekend. That sort of thing astounds me. I said he had 'Voodoo charm" but his response was just 'Nah, just bein' me baby girl!" with a huge shit eating grin.

    2.) Do ESFPs have a tendency to be "grabby"?

    He has to touch EVERYTHING, including me. If we walk down an isle together in a store, he touches EVERYTHING. We were in a Best Buy and we went down an isle with laptops, I was reminded of a 12 year old kid because he had to fiddle with the keys on pretty much all of them.

    It's like he can't stand to be unoccupied for even a moment. He will smell shampoos, examine greeting cards for all occasions, or even toss a bag of maxi-pads around just to have something to do if I'm occupied with my own shopping choices. He will also grab on the back of my shirt to stop me if he wants to show me something instead of JUST SAYING "Hey, hold up, look at this". I've threatened to kick his ass for this, but he responds to that as if it's just another fun and exciting activity we can do together.

    3.) Are ESFPs scattered as hell in conversation?

    I will be on the phone with him chatting, and I'll bring up a particular topic. He will start by responding very briefly to said topic, then he'll veer off into something semi-related. We'll talk about the semi-related thing for a bit, then move on to something else. Then, out of nowhere, he will RETURN to the original topic as if I had JUST asked him about it.

    He also has a habit of failing to answer questions I might ask him, but then bringing them up out of nowhere in a subsequent conversation that might take place a week later. Like I might ask him "So how did you like that new movie?". He'll give a short answer and proceed to talk about some other subject directly on his mind. Then a week later we might be eating out and he'll just go "So yeah, that new movie was alright, not too bad" and I'm like 'Wait, WTF?".

    Is this typical ESFP sort of stuff?
    "Nobody in life gets exactly what they thought they were going to get, but if you work really hard, and you're kind, amazing things will happen. I'm telling you...amazing things will happen" --Conan O'Brien

  2. #2
    PEST that STEPs on PETS stellar renegade's Avatar
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    Ohmygod, you have no idea how hard I was laughing at this. It all sounds way too familiar. hahahaha XD

    If there were anybody in the apartment, they would've for sure come over to figure out what had me cracking up so hard.

    I have to say I make friends about as easily as this guy does. I met a couple people in Austin just about a month and a half ago and hung for just a couple of days. Before I knew it they were inviting me up to Oklahoma where they live so I spent the past week with them.

    I'm probably gonna live near them for a bit.

    Quote Originally Posted by Gloriana View Post
    3.) Are ESFPs scattered as hell in conversation?

    I will be on the phone with him chatting, and I'll bring up a particular topic. He will start by responding very briefly to said topic, then he'll veer off into something semi-related. We'll talk about the semi-related thing for a bit, then move on to something else. Then, out of nowhere, he will RETURN to the original topic as if I had JUST asked him about it.

    He also has a habit of failing to answer questions I might ask him, but then bringing them up out of nowhere in a subsequent conversation that might take place a week later. Like I might ask him "So how did you like that new movie?". He'll give a short answer and proceed to talk about some other subject directly on his mind. Then a week later we might be eating out and he'll just go "So yeah, that new movie was alright, not too bad" and I'm like 'Wait, WTF?".

    Is this typical ESFP sort of stuff?
    That sounds like me!!! I usually talk about what I want to talk about but I also want the other person to feel like I'm interested in what they have to say, too, so I'll talk about what I want first and come back later to what they mentioned. I have a pretty good memory, too, and usually I'll "feel bad" about not talking about what they wanted and remember it for an extended period of time.

    He actually sounds more like my type. Maybe he thought he was a feeler because he's so charming.

    OMG BRING HIM HERE!
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  3. #3
    Patron Saint Of Smileys Gloriana's Avatar
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    Maybe he is mistyped. I have another friend I've known since I was 15 and he's an ESTP, and he's very much like this new friend of mine. They're both bottomless pits of enthusiasm and they charm the pants off everyone they meet.

    My ESTP friend is crap at relating to me about emotions (unless they are HIS emotions) and I fight with him a hell of a lot more (venom spewing from both sides, followed by insults, followed by silence, followed by "Ok, we did that, what's next?") whereas my friend typed as ESFP really seems to GET my emotions/how I feel even if it doesn't relate to him and he doesn't seem as perplexed by my INFJ tendencies.

    For instance: ESTP friend will get irritated at me if he finds out I'm in one of my recharge periods of doing solitary things and start lecturing. Even after all the years of knowing him, he still considers "Time spent alone" as equaling "Abnormal".

    ESFP friend prefers to be around people as much as possible but doesn't give me a hard time about the stretches I spend doing my own thing. He doesn't take it personally, listens to my side of it, accepts it, and just gets excited when he can succeed in yanking me out of my lair.

    ESFP also meets me halfway on doing activities we both might enjoy whereas ESTP friend will complain because he thinks HIS social way is just THE ABSOLUTE RIGHT WAY, lol.

    You know what? I bet you anything I could get my ESFP friend on the phone right now and go "Hey, you want to drive out to Texas with me to meet this person I exchanged messages with on an online forum?" and he'd probably be like 'Aw sweet, when do we leave?", hahahaha.
    "Nobody in life gets exactly what they thought they were going to get, but if you work really hard, and you're kind, amazing things will happen. I'm telling you...amazing things will happen" --Conan O'Brien

  4. #4
    PEST that STEPs on PETS stellar renegade's Avatar
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    Then DO IT! hahaha.

    Yeah, the first thing about letting you have time alone might be just a product of being well-developed but the other stuff does sound like an ESFP.

    All that stuff in the OP sounds like typical ESXP in general but a couple of things just struck me as being things that might be ESTP in particular.
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  5. #5
    Senior Member King sns's Avatar
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    I think he sounds quite ESFP.
    He reminds me of this type description
    in particular.

  6. #6
    Obsession. Lethe's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Gloriana View Post
    Is this typical ESFP sort of stuff?
    I also had a good laugh from your original post. That has been 100% of my experience with male ESFPs.

    He also seems to have this knack to make friends with everyone, everywhere.

    I said he had 'Voodoo charm" but his response was just 'Nah, just bein' me baby girl!" with a huge shit eating grin.

    He has to touch EVERYTHING.

    It's like he can't stand to be unoccupied for even a moment.
    HAHAHA! True!

    He will start by responding very briefly to said topic, then he'll veer off into something semi-related. We'll talk about the semi-related thing for a bit, then move on to something else. Then, out of nowhere, he will RETURN to the original topic as if I had JUST asked him about it.

    He also has a habit of failing to answer questions I might ask him, but then bringing them up out of nowhere in a subsequent conversation that might take place a week later. Like I might ask him "So how did you like that new movie?". He'll give a short answer and proceed to talk about some other subject directly on his mind. Then a week later we might be eating out and he'll just go "So yeah, that new movie was alright, not too bad" and I'm like 'Wait, WTF?".
    I do this too occasionally, but in my mind, all those topics share a foundation. It can drive others completely up the wall, even ENFPs and ENTPs. (This can be excused by my ADD. When I take medication, the topic-to-topic jumps happen less. Only ADD individuals and ESPs could keep up with my space-cadet tendencies.)
    "I cannot expect even my own art to provide all of the answers -- only to hope it keeps asking the right questions." -- Grace Hartigan

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  7. #7
    Patron Saint Of Smileys Gloriana's Avatar
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    Damn, I had an excerpt from a story I was writing recalling the adventure at Wal-Mart at 4AM but the damn blog won't let me post it all in one. I wrote it all down afterward because I thought it was amusing but looking at it now I think it higlights the ESFP/INFJ differences between us rather well. Me being in my head and him being completely out in the surroundings, lol.

    Stupid blog character limits!!! Hmmmmm *plots*
    "Nobody in life gets exactly what they thought they were going to get, but if you work really hard, and you're kind, amazing things will happen. I'm telling you...amazing things will happen" --Conan O'Brien

  8. #8
    Senior Member King sns's Avatar
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    Don't know how many esfp's you know,
    but I personally get along very very well with INFJ's..
    On this forum and IRL. (Although like I keep saying, I only know a few IRL. Never met a confirmed one that I haven't liked yet.)
    I think that its a good match!!!

  9. #9
    RETIRED CzeCze's Avatar
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    Hey Gloriana, I also have a male friend who typed as ESFP. We got a long really well, partly for the randomness and also the winding conversations. I was a little surprsied that he was ESFP because my rudimentary grasp of MBT and from what folks say on the forum, our conversations shouldn't have flowed so well. He's also a bit random, we have also asked each other what the other is up to at 3am - himself moreso than me.

    Soooo, thanks for validating he may indeed be an ESFP?

    FWIW, I like feeler men irl. They are so nice to talk to and easy to relate to. And very easy to be platonic friends with.
    So just wanted to say - hey
    “If you want to tell people the truth, make them laugh, otherwise they'll kill you.” ― Oscar Wilde

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  10. #10
    PEST that STEPs on PETS stellar renegade's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Gloriana View Post
    Damn, I had an excerpt from a story I was writing recalling the adventure at Wal-Mart at 4AM but the damn blog won't let me post it all in one. I wrote it all down afterward because I thought it was amusing but looking at it now I think it higlights the ESFP/INFJ differences between us rather well. Me being in my head and him being completely out in the surroundings, lol.

    Stupid blog character limits!!! Hmmmmm *plots*
    Then just post it a chunk at a time.

    Quote Originally Posted by shortnsweet View Post
    Don't know how many esfp's you know,
    but I personally get along very very well with INFJ's..
    On this forum and IRL. (Although like I keep saying, I only know a few IRL. Never met a confirmed one that I haven't liked yet.)
    I think that its a good match!!!
    And I get along really well with INTJs usually. Crazy, huh?

    I have an INFJ coworker and it took us awhile to really get along. He seemed to think we had a friendship going before I ever did, though. I guess he saw through my sarcasm and snarky comments to him.
    -stellar renegade
    coo-oo-ooool this madness down,
    stop it right on tiiiiime!


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