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  1. #31
    Seriously Delirious Udog's Avatar
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    What we need is a few good taters.

  2. #32
    Senior Member defragmybrain's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Udog View Post
    How do you get an ESFP excited about something if they are already pretty happy with their life?
    i think a better term is 'content' with their lives. Nobody is ultimately happy, there are always some small inconveniences in daily life that bother us.
    If the guy likes video games,
    man there are billions of indirectly related jobs that he could pick up, eventually.

    I'm VERY happy with my life right now, but there are plenty of things to get me excited about when i'm out there getting a taste of it: figure drawing on an idle sunday morning, etc. Mmmm.
    - From your fun-loving ESFP.
    Se/Fi/Te/Ni, 44% E / 88% S / 62% F / 67% P

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  3. #33
    Sugar Hiccup OrangeAppled's Avatar
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    I'll preface this by saying I adore my ESFP sister & I think she is brilliant, but my parents did her NO favors by coddling her. She's 30, still lives at home & is jobless. Granted, she has mental health issues now, but nothing so debilitating she could not have become independent in the past or be working towards it now. Right now, she is waiting on government money to finish her schooling. All the years she worked & she never saved a dime, but blew it on partying & clothes. She could have finished school by now & be on her own if she'd had any self-discipline.

    She has also never fully bought her own car - someone always pays the down payment at least. She has never paid rent. She has never held a job for more than 2 years. She dropped out of college and never repaid the debt she owed. She has borrowed money from friends/family & never paid it back. Now that she has nothing, her friends pay for her to socialize because they love her so much & she is so much "fun". :rolli:

    My mom has always said she thinks my sister will never move out unless she marries someone who can take care of her (god help that man). She is simply incapable of being financially independent & responsible. She doesn't connect how her actions affect her family & the people around her either. She's been a huge financial burden on everyone. She wants adult freedom, but not adult responsibility.

    The ESFP needs to realize that their happiness & fun is not the only issue. Their decisions affect other people, people they care about, and they need to stop being selfish & grow up.

    The point of my little rant here is a warning, that's all. I have an ESFP friend who is similarly dependent on everyone around her & irresponsible in many ways. I'll spare you that drama....

    I think with ESFP children, you gotta throw them out to sink or swim. Most will swim, because most people are capable of independence, IMO. If they sink badly, then you can scoop them as any caring family would, but not to the point of shouldering all responsibility again. As mentioned, REAL consequences have to be implemented, and that may mean seeing your little baby hurting (something my mom cannot deal with...).
    Often a star was waiting for you to notice it. A wave rolled toward you out of the distant past, or as you walked under an open window, a violin yielded itself to your hearing. All this was mission. But could you accomplish it? (Rilke)

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  4. #34
    reborn PeaceBaby's Avatar
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    Thanks everyone for your thoughts and feedback. It is appreciated.

    I think I will set some inspirational limits ... and continue to try to engage his natural enthusiasm.

    I'll update the thread from time to time. I think the first is a driver's licence timeline. Get licence by 1 August. Or momma's not drivin'.

  5. #35
    Seriously Delirious Udog's Avatar
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    I think that's a wonderful first step. Good luck - just remember the follow through if he decides to test you!

  6. #36
    Senior Member ColonelGadaafi's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Udog View Post
    I think that's a wonderful first step. Good luck - just remember the follow through if he decides to test you!
    Yes... be rash aswell and dont back down. Search for your inner ISTJ, and stand firm on the battle of wills.
    "Where can you flee? What road will you use to escape us? Our horses are swift, our arrows sharp, our swords like thunderbolts, our hearts as hard as the mountains, our soldiers as numerous as the sand. Fortresses will not detain us, nor arms stop us. Your prayers to God will not avail against us. We are not moved by tears nor touched by lamentations."

  7. #37
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    OP, point a gun at them. I also second Orange Appled's decision. That's how you use your T!

  8. #38
    reborn PeaceBaby's Avatar
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    UPDATE: ESFP son got driver's licence yesterday. Took 4 months of having no one to drive him, aside from having to pay for a cab.

    But he did it, and passed. Yay!

  9. #39
    veteran attention whore Jeffster's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by PeaceBaby View Post
    UPDATE: ESFP son got driver's licence yesterday. Took 4 months of having no one to drive him, aside from having to pay for a cab.

    But he did it, and passed. Yay!
    Yay! Now get ready for him often taking off driving and not coming back for awhile.
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  10. #40
    @.~*virinaĉo*~.@ Totenkindly's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by PeaceBaby View Post
    UPDATE: ESFP son got driver's licence yesterday. Took 4 months of having no one to drive him, aside from having to pay for a cab. But he did it, and passed. Yay!
    yay!

    The only way I've found to motivate my ESFP kid is to offer him something he wants and that isn't some vague abstract goal to him.

    ... usually, it's money.
    "Hey Capa -- We're only stardust." ~ "Sunshine"

    “Pleasure to me is wonder—the unexplored, the unexpected, the thing that is hidden and the changeless thing that lurks behind superficial mutability. To trace the remote in the immediate; the eternal in the ephemeral; the past in the present; the infinite in the finite; these are to me the springs of delight and beauty.” ~ H.P. Lovecraft

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