User Tag List

First 8910111220 Last

Results 91 to 100 of 212

Thread: N v. S

  1. #91
    Senior Member
    Join Date
    Oct 2008
    Posts
    1,702

    Default

    Quote Originally Posted by Bougal View Post
    I have lived my whole life in this kind of situation. My Mother is a very strong S, and when I am talking to her about something conceptual, no matter the level of importance, she will have sudden, unrelated outburst about a bad driver, something she needs to clean or something she needs to add to a shopping list. It is like we are on to different wavelengths. I think I would go insane if my whole family was comprised of Ss, but luckily, I have an INTJ brother and father.

    Unless there are activities involved, Ss and Ns don't really mesh too well. Talking to a strong S is like talking to a brick wall. If it interests me, like if we are talking about a concept, then they never contribute to the conversation.
    Not every S is like your Mother. Changing the topic to something that needs to be done eg. the cleaning or bad driver story just sounds rude to me.

    If an N is talking to me about something "conceptual" I'm focused on them and pay attention to what they are saying after all that is truly what is in the "now".

    What I input back with is generally helping them put their thoughts into practice. S and N work very well together.

  2. #92
    Senior Member animenagai's Avatar
    Join Date
    Aug 2008
    MBTI
    NeFi
    Enneagram
    4w3
    Posts
    1,573

    Default

    i think the S vs N clash is really a problem only if the S and N are both very strong. i have a tonne of S friends who i feel like i can talk to (though not usually about theory or abstract stuff). when i do throw out something quite N, most of them is at least willing to entertain the idea a little bit. there are lot of strong S's in the world though that i have trouble communicating with.

  3. #93
    Babylon Candle Venom's Avatar
    Join Date
    Feb 2008
    MBTI
    INTJ
    Enneagram
    1w9 sp/sx
    Posts
    2,128

    Default

    i know i overstate this alot, but sharing functions can really smooth this all out.

    especially when you share N or S like ENXJ and ISXP do with tertiary Se or Ni.
    Not as pronounced smoothing over as ISXP & ENXJ, but for instance, one of my good friends is ESTJ. The Te communication makes the N vs S clash less of a problem.

    One of my best "team" relations is an IXTP friend of mine (probably ISTP). We play support/rescue to each other, multiple times a day. One of us misses or messes up where the other saves the day (Ti Se vs Te Ni... oppositional dominants)

  4. #94
    Member
    Join Date
    Feb 2008
    MBTI
    INTJ
    Posts
    32

    Default

    Quote Originally Posted by Babylon Candle View Post
    i know i overstate this a lot, but sharing functions can really smooth this all out.....

    for instance, one of my good friends is ESTJ. The Te communication makes the N vs S clash less of a problem.
    I absolutely agree with this since one of my best friends is also ESTJ and I find the Te side of both of us is our connecting point. I also have a best friend who is ENTJ and it is very similar in that we connect via Te but also have a great shared imagination (Ni) also. But I've found also the experience of how my ENTJ friend has Fi 4th down the hierachy quite useful in understanding my ESTJ friend too.

  5. #95
    Senior Member Darjur's Avatar
    Join Date
    Oct 2008
    MBTI
    INTJ
    Enneagram
    5
    Posts
    493

    Default

    It's pretty much impossible for me to talk to strong S's. I either bore or annoy them or they bore or annoy me.

    I also have absolutely no capability of using "small talk", not paying attention to any sport or fps game whatsoever helps that communicational barrier.

  6. #96
    Senior Member
    Join Date
    Nov 2008
    MBTI
    ENTP
    Posts
    116

    Default

    if you have reasonable conversational skills, you should be able to make acquaintances with Ss, but the only ones I've ever been good friends with shared a particular interest - like hunting, golf, or baseball

    when I was in college, there were a few S chicks who I was friends with, but mostly because we were in the same clique, they weren't deep connections, S guys have been easier to become friends with, mostly because of common sports interests

    When I'm around Ss, I turn on the Dale Carnegie skills - asking questions, discussing common friends and interests, and sharing funny stories, but after doing that for too long, I can't wait to call up an N and start debating politics

    also, Ss with few outside interests wear on me quickly, my ENFJ girlfriend senior year in college had an ESFJ roommate who could go on forever about shopping lists, laundry, and her cats, but we used to shut her up by starting debates about impressionist painting styles

  7. #97
    Senior Member King sns's Avatar
    Join Date
    Nov 2008
    MBTI
    enfp
    Enneagram
    6w7 sp/sx
    Socionics
    IEE
    Posts
    6,748

    Default

    I get along equally well with N's and S's I think.

    But if i'm around a big group of people who start talking about N-like things,(politics or constellations or modern physics or something.) I can only stay afloat for so long before I zone out a bit. I try to keep up and stay in the conversation but I usually end up getting bored and sleepy and focusing on something (a fire, a plant.) or any variety of things that a simple S can think about for a while, until someone breaks my daze. "hey !! you're staring of into space!"

    and then I try to jump back in again.

    This happens to me a lot actually.

  8. #98
    Senior Member King sns's Avatar
    Join Date
    Nov 2008
    MBTI
    enfp
    Enneagram
    6w7 sp/sx
    Socionics
    IEE
    Posts
    6,748

    Default

    Quote Originally Posted by Bougal View Post
    I have lived my whole life in this kind of situation. My Mother is a very strong S, and when I am talking to her about something conceptual, no matter the level of importance, she will have sudden, unrelated outburst about a bad driver, something she needs to clean or something she needs to add to a shopping list. It is like we are on to different wavelengths. I think I would go insane if my whole family was comprised of Ss, but luckily, I have an INTJ brother and father.

    Unless there are activities involved, Ss and Ns don't really mesh too well. Talking to a strong S is like talking to a brick wall. If it interests me, like if we are talking about a concept, then they never contribute to the conversation.
    Grr.. my mom does this a lot!! she's an esfj. I was telling her about something very exciting in my life yesterday and she goes. "thats nice. So and so came over yesterday after I did the laundry."

    Quote Originally Posted by Lukepd View Post
    Not every S is like your Mother. Changing the topic to something that needs to be done eg. the cleaning or bad driver story just sounds rude to me.

    If an N is talking to me about something "conceptual" I'm focused on them and pay attention to what they are saying after all that is truly what is in the "now".

    What I input back with is generally helping them put their thoughts into practice. S and N work very well together.

    and I would agree with this. Not all S's are going to change the topic when you're talking!

  9. #99
    Senior Member Anja's Avatar
    Join Date
    May 2008
    MBTI
    INFP
    Posts
    2,967

    Default

    I'm trying to put this into the context of my relationships with Esses whom are close to me.

    I do know that my MIL and her other Sensor friends seemed incapable of discussing ideas with me. So the conversation was continuously being pulled back to the subjects of people, places and things.

    Not deliberately rude. But frustrating nonetheless.

    And any converation I have with my ISTJ will invariably get around to what needs to be done next or what was just done.

    My ninety-something MIL (ISTJ?) has kept a daily journal for about seventy years. I thought "What a treasure trove of her inner thoughts will be preserved for her grandchildren!"

    Once I had access to the stacks and stacks of notebooks and glanced through a random few. I was disappointed to see the mundane and matter-of-fact reporting of daily tasks. Every page was identical beginning with a brief weather report and going on to list the day's work. Who's birthday it was. Whom she received letters from.

    Decades of this with absolutely no personal reflection!
    "No ray of sunshine is ever lost, but the green which it awakes into existence needs time to sprout, and it is not always granted to the sower to see the harvest. All work that is worth anything is done in faith." - Albert Schweitzer

  10. #100
    soft and silky sarah's Avatar
    Join Date
    Sep 2008
    MBTI
    isfp
    Posts
    548

    Default

    Okay, listen up all you people who believe that preferring Sensing means you do nothing BUT sense: If that were true, then the reverse would also be true. Everyone who prefers Intuition would be completely incapable of using their senses. That would mean if Ns try to move, their muscles wouldn't respond and they'd be like blind bats blundering around, bashing into everything. That would also mean that Ns are certainly not capable of playing sports, or reading (because that uses your eyesight), cooking, driving, walking, etc.. and they absolutely can't create art or play music, because that requires sensing, which You As An N Person Do Not Possess. In fact, the only thing Ns are capable of doing is sitting around daydreaming and philosophizing -- about purely abstract stuff, naturally. You wouldn't even be able to philosophize about art or music, because you wouldn't have the ability to sense and savor the art and music in the first place.

    If that sounds stupid to you, then know that this is how utterly stupid it sounds to my mind to hear that I'm supposedly incapable of having abstract conversations.

    Which is why I think it's far more reasonable to acknowledge that people enjoy both, and that very few people are extreme N or S, but that some people who prefer Sensing prefer not to talk about abstractions when there is stuff worth admiring and doing in the physical world around them, and the abstractions would only distract rather than intensify the experience.

    I find it extremely annoying when I'm trying to concentrate on what I'm doing with my hands and someone's trying to have a conversation with me. I can't do both at once. Sure, I can have abstract "deep" conversations, but not when there's a lot worth noticing in the real world around me. Does that make sense?

Posting Permissions

  • You may not post new threads
  • You may not post replies
  • You may not post attachments
  • You may not edit your posts
Single Sign On provided by vBSSO