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  1. #241
    Queen hunter Virtual ghost's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by tinkerbell View Post
    Scary isn't the issue its appropriateness. Jen's date yelled at her....

    As for my prospect he doens't get angry... which I don't believe but we will see.

    Can you define what angry actually means in this context?



    The thing is that I am one of those INTJs that "don't become angry".
    (So I am asking)

  2. #242
    Senior Member tinkerbell's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Antisocial one View Post
    Can you define what angry actually means in this context?



    The thing is that I am one of those INTJs that "don't become angry".
    (So I am asking)
    sorry I can't really help... Jen's experience was with an ENTJ - who in my experience are rather angry at times and scary...

    My INTJ guy prospect and I were IMing and we were talkign about being angry, and he said he doesn't get angry... which I liked... he does seem calm and I'm thinking he will take most things in his stride... but I also think he get a wee bit passive agressive at times...

    So I couldn't/wouldn't go over to see him during the summer.... he had decided to make prohibative choices and he snipped at me a few times and basically tried to make it my fault when his life decisions were getting in the way. He wasn't angry though, which caused me to wonder if his snipping was a way of expressing himself rather than getting anrgy.

    So what do you do instead of being angry (and sorry I can't be more specific about what that is)

  3. #243
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    Quote Originally Posted by tinkerbell View Post
    sorry I can't really help... Jen's experience was with an ENTJ - who in my experience are rather angry at times and scary...

    My INTJ guy prospect and I were IMing and we were talkign about being angry, and he said he doesn't get angry... which I liked... he does seem calm and I'm thinking he will take most things in his stride... but I also think he get a wee bit passive agressive at times...

    So I couldn't/wouldn't go over to see him during the summer.... he had decided to make prohibative choices and he snipped at me a few times and basically tried to make it my fault when his life decisions were getting in the way. He wasn't angry though, which caused me to wonder if his snipping was a way of expressing himself rather than getting anrgy.

    So what do you do instead of being angry (and sorry I can't be more specific about what that is)

    It seems like I am quite similar to your guy.
    Instead of getting angry I will analyse and make plans.
    This is automatic reaction about which I can't do something about. However if I see that I will have to make a pressure to assure that things go as planned then I can become passive argressive in some cases.
    I do this simply because I want that the other person realizes what I want.
    However my Te can come as anger to many people. Especially since they don't expect so much Te from so introverted person.

  4. #244
    Senior Member tinkerbell's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Antisocial one View Post
    It seems like I am quite similar to your guy.
    Instead of getting angry I will analyse and make plans.
    This is automatic reaction about which I can't do something about. However if I see that I will have to make a pressure to assure that things go as planned then I can become passive argressive in some cases.
    I do this simply because I want that the other person realizes what I want.
    However my Te can come as anger to many people. Especially since they don't expect so much Te from so introverted person.
    In fairness hes my wannabe guy....

    So you plan your way out....now tell me how does my P-ness get this guy to break camp and come and have a life... I have a horrible feeling his fixing his house up could take many weeks, which is begining to make me feel like he is not really interested/or sees it as a priority.

    LOL so the passive agressive thing is simply to get people to conform to the PLAN... GOSH this is what the thread is all about... J-ness running rampant on my P-ness. Rationaly speaking I saw him getting snippey because I wasn't conforming to his plan - a plan which I had no involvement in making and was simply not in any possition to conform to it.......

    So does this mean the INTJ basically get their own way all the time because of thier plan...?

  5. #245
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    I don't think I could ever make it work with a P.

  6. #246
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    Quote Originally Posted by tinkerbell View Post
    In fairness hes my wannabe guy....

    So you plan your way out....now tell me how does my P-ness get this guy to break camp and come and have a life... I have a horrible feeling his fixing his house up could take many weeks, which is begining to make me feel like he is not really interested/or sees it as a priority.

    LOL so the passive agressive thing is simply to get people to conform to the PLAN... GOSH this is what the thread is all about... J-ness running rampant on my P-ness. Rationaly speaking I saw him getting snippey because I wasn't conforming to his plan - a plan which I had no involvement in making and was simply not in any possition to conform to it.......

    So does this mean the INTJ basically get their own way all the time because of thier plan...?

    I don't know how things are going exactly in your case so I will not give you concrete advice. (especially since I don't have any expriance with relationships)

    However I will say that you should talk to him about what he wants (aka his plans). If he is interested in you he will tell you alot of things. (in my opinion this is a good indicator about how much he is actually interested)

    In general INTJs are willing to compromise if they don't have to change plans too much. Especially if it is possible to achive multiple goals while not losing too much "efficiency".

  7. #247
    Senior Member tinkerbell's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Antisocial one View Post
    I

    In general INTJs are willing to compromise if they don't have to change plans too much. Especially if it is possible to achive multiple goals while not losing too much "efficiency".
    Hes been really open about plans to day, about a lot of things, and actually indicated that they were open to change etc..... So I do think he is being ligitimate.

    I just have things I want out my life in the next few years, so his ability to compromise and or take on other peoples agendas will be paramout. We do seem to get on very well, and are drifting towards being quite close and comfortable...

    LOL @ the efficiency... such an NTJ thing, my former boss ENTJ couldn't go anywhere without trying to organise the efficency..... god help minimum wage guy in a hotels when the team went away... they were always told how to change their operating processes, we all ganged up on him with paper bags on our heads at one point...

  8. #248
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    Quote Originally Posted by tinkerbell View Post



    These are all great responces, I was recently hit on by an INTJ - which is a type I'd not considered, I was a bit intimidated by his J-ness - or perhaps I was ashamed of my P-ness
    Would you care to explain this statement in more detail ?
    I ask since people usually get scared when I show the full strenght of my J/Te.

  9. #249
    Senior Member tinkerbell's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Antisocial one View Post
    Would you care to explain this statement in more detail ?
    I ask since people usually get scared when I show the full strenght of my J/Te.
    Oh thats easy... I'm not a planner, and I'm a typical ENTP - which means I am bad at managing my own money, have no problems managing other peoples money give me a walloping budget and I will give you change (and not over run) and close the budget on time, however I don't manage my own money very well.

    He on the other hand is Oooober planned and very good at managing money.

    I don't plan in life I am spontaneous, and tend to be opportunistic, which I like, but it also leaves me vulnerable in many ways. He has a very firm plan of next steps...which if not over done would really be useful to balance him. I think he likes my spontenatey which would lighten him up... but it's when ts over done... my Pness may drive him nuts (although I've never had my phone cut off because I forgot to pay it), I know if I feel overly controlled I will go for the thorat and incite a power struggle.

    I want to encourage him to express his desires without making it about my lack of compromise... I'm actualyl fairly easy going but I don't like being told I'm not compromising when he is requesting something outragious

  10. #250
    Senior Member MiasmaResonance's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by jenocyde View Post
    No worries. We more than likely hate you, too.
    "A spill at the plant increased the phosphates in the lake and produced a scum of algae so thick that the swamp smell filled the air, infiltrating the genteel mansions. Debutantes cried over the misfortune of coming out in a season everyone would remember for its bad smell."

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