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  1. #141
    Senior Member chris1207's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by LindseyLadybug View Post
    Here are some random questions for you ENFJs:

    How do you read people's eyes? What can you tell about people based on how they look at you? Is it a silent way that someone tells you their life story?
    A lot. I can tell if someone's an IXTJ by looking into their eyes while they talk. IXTJ's have beady, unexpressive eyes even when they're talking about something that gets them moving their bodies in the passion of the subject.

    Quote Originally Posted by LindseyLadybug View Post

    What do you think about people who are introverted, yet wear vivid colors? Does this baffle you, give you insight, etc?
    Well, first off, I's, especially INFJ's, are the worst! In all seriousness though, I'd would be more surprised to find N's wearing something colorful cuz we don't give a crap about senses. In response, to earlier in this topic, I don't bother to look at what I'm wearing when I go out. Functionality over style.

    Quote Originally Posted by LindseyLadybug View Post

    I've had an ENFJ stop after speaking to a group (that I was in) and look at me intently with her head tilted to the side. Another time, she did this and half smiled. Both times I was laughing at a joke she had made (as was the whole group). It was like she was taking a mental note of something...?
    I'm surprised that you want to learn more about ENFJ's after she gave you the stink-eye like that. You shoulda torn her a new one. Who knows, maybe she noted that your introverted and was trying to figure out previously how she could make a connection with you and was pleasantly surprised that her humor had an affect on you. After that she had an outlet.

    Quote Originally Posted by LindseyLadybug View Post
    What traits/characteristics do you respect the most?
    Dependability. I like to plan everything out in advance and hate when people flake. It's disrespectful I tell ya.

    Oh and Ladybug! You totally remind me of this girl, Ashley, I used to know in college, or at least the picture of the person in your avatar does. She was really sweet and we always seemed on the same level when we'd talk about stuff. She was really easy to talk to. Unfortunately, we had some sort of tiff I can't quite remember and never talked after that. I didn't know about the MBTI back then but I would peg her as an INFJ based on what I know now.

    Later
    "... you think deeply about stuff [that] nobody cares about and hardly anybody can understand you." ~ Peguy talking about Ni users. So true.

  2. #142
    Senior Member LindseyLadybug's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by chris1207 View Post
    Well, first off, I's, especially INFJ's, are the worst! In all seriousness though, I'd would be more surprised to find N's wearing something colorful cuz we don't give a crap about senses. In response, to earlier in this topic, I don't bother to look at what I'm wearing when I go out. Functionality over style.
    Well, my ESFP mom introduced me to how much fun it is to dress in order to express myself. Of course, this does NOT include uncomfortable clothing. I think if I dress comfortably, modestly, and the clothes happen to be unique/colorful, I have succeeded in sending a nonverbal message about myself to others. I like that aspect of it.


    Quote Originally Posted by chris1207 View Post
    Who knows, maybe she noted that your introverted and was trying to figure out previously how she could make a connection with you and was pleasantly surprised that her humor had an affect on you. After that she had an outlet.
    Oh, that makes perfect sense! You're good!

    Quote Originally Posted by chris1207 View Post
    Dependability. I like to plan everything out in advance and hate when people flake. It's disrespectful I tell ya.
    Oh yeah, I take it personally when people flake on me for illegitimate reasons. I'm pretty reasonable about it the first couple of times, but then I start thinking they don't care about my time or feelings, etc.

    Quote Originally Posted by chris1207 View Post
    Oh and Ladybug! You totally remind me of this girl, Ashley, I used to know in college, or at least the picture of the person in your avatar does. She was really sweet and we always seemed on the same level when we'd talk about stuff. She was really easy to talk to. Unfortunately, we had some sort of tiff I can't quite remember and never talked after that. I didn't know about the MBTI back then but I would peg her as an INFJ based on what I know now.
    Oh weird. I must have a long lost twin out there somewhere. Hehe! A lot of people tell me I look familar...I don't know why.

  3. #143
    Senior Member The Third Rider's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by LindseyLadybug View Post
    If you don't know a person very well and aren't sure what your opinion is of them yet, what is something they could do/say that would almost instantly make you think positively of or love them? Or if you are still keeping your guard up around someone, what is something they could do/say to automatically cause you to let your guard down?
    Well I don't simply love people from one second to another. they must first prove to me that they are trust worthy. I give people a certain level of credability and respect until they prove that they other wise cannot be trusted. I personally look at the "small" things, I always say that it's the little things in life that make the difference. So I look at people's patterns to see who they are (I am sure most of us do), and I make a mental note of things you do, like, dislike, and causes certain reactions to you. That is how I form my opinions over people. So there isn't much that you can tell me that will make think better of you if for some reason I think low of you (which I hardly do over anyone). I remember a lot things about people so if you ever piss me off I will remember to bring up everything that upsets and pisses you off and it wont be pretty. but i hate to do that, I never like to make people feel like shit. Either way, if all else fails, slap-on a smile and crack a joke.

    You are indeed a guinea pig...*plots evil things* Muahahahahaha!
    As long as there are no needles involved.
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    If you read this I am sorry to say that you just lost 5 seconds of your life that you wont be getting back.*

    *Actual time may vary.

  4. #144
    Senior Member chris1207's Avatar
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    Oh and when it comes to music, heck if I can remember the lyrics. They're not really important to me. I find more meaning in the music. I like energetic music that gets me up and moving. I also have a tendency to have high standards for what I listen to. It's rare that I admit new albums (every couple of months) but when I find something I like I listen to it to death. As of 2008 I've taken great interest in mp3 players and headphones. I own three players and two sets of headphones and have been contemplating spending 200 or 300 bucks on new phones. The difference in detail between stock buds and even my 40 dollar pair is nothing short of amazing. I really gained an appreciation for more complex works in genres like jazz and classical!
    "... you think deeply about stuff [that] nobody cares about and hardly anybody can understand you." ~ Peguy talking about Ni users. So true.

  5. #145
    Senior Member LindseyLadybug's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by The Third Rider View Post
    Well I don't simply love people from one second to another.
    Oh sorry, I should've said "like" not "love"....very helpful info though.

  6. #146
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    bringing back ENFJ topics

  7. #147
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    I just joined Typology recently but I have been reading the MBTI books and the postings on this website. I am an ENFJ or Enneagram 1w2 and I think I have some things I wish my friends knew. I worked with an ENTJ and we looked similar but in the end I was not able to be as combatative and harsh with conflict or meetings with open anger. I was more sensitive to it in the long term to the point where I cannot stand it for long periods of time. I really get uncomfortable with conflict if it is prolonged and messy.

    Also I am a great group leader in my friends groups and really really social. It is fun because I can say I understand people and have good social skills. This I know and enjoy helping others be social with me and also enjoying it.

    I would say that I have had to struggle with when to put myself first instead of help others. I am directive and always notice and take charge to help others but sometimes I don't know if it is wrong or not to put my needs first. It feels selfish to and against my nature unless I am walked on. They it is real easy.

    I am naturally really meaning searching and religious. I cannot be happy unless right morally or it will nag me inwardly. My faith is serious and not to be joked about. I am tolerant an d curious about other people but my life has no purpose if there is not faith. And my search for meaning is completely circular and comes around again and again in time periods. But I am an enneagram 1 so I think other ENFJ's may not have such a strict moral view.

    I will date socially and have fun but a real relationship is rare in the sense that I need it to be deep and trust they won't leave in a few months. So it is a weird thing for me because I like dating and get hit on but feel that not many guys at all understand the depth, commitment, and maturity in supporting me. And it is pretty hard to ask for, in fact I ususally never tell them that I just watch to see if I think they can.

    I am a great public speaker and mentor and do it naturally. I got voted the Chaplain of an organization in college and it was news to me but it turned out great. I was also class president and it was funny to me but people voted me there and saw what I didn't in my speaking and leadership. One description of my personality says "we lead without appearing to" with our enthusiasm and front-loading of potential and possibility. This is what I think people saw? I was asked to speak as a senior in college on earnestness at a business school event and thought that fit me and was a HUGE compliment. I was also voted a to homecoming court and most trustworthy in high school.

    Verbal affection matters. In my current friendships I don't get verbal appreciation and I realize that it matters more than time spent with me. It is so baffling and frustrating that I need it but I had to tell the friend to tell me positive things or else the months of no positive direct statements=questioning whether the relationship is what I think it is.

    I think introverts must be annoyed with my need for social interaction. I hate that I talk so much and in circles usually. I have to get advice form a strong T person when upset because my intense feeling blurs any thought I have and gets me STUCK. So appreciate your T people they really balance us feelers. And I hate that I am emotional. UGH! I don't show it when I have strong feelings I try to go somewhere alone because other people cannot handle the strong emotion until I can let it pass.

    I most recently dated an ESTP and found him awful. So spontaneous that is annoyed me and indulgent to a fault. Not principled or deep. Brought out the worst in me in the long (5 dates) run. Although he was really fun and matched my extroversion and social prowess which is really hard to find! Bummer!

    I also got asked out by an INTP and just couldn't date him. I was attracted very much but the introversion was so mismatched with me. He saw me socially and loved my extroversion and affectionate personality but totally didn't know how to see my feelings or be extroverted in his feelings. They are too important to be with someone who doesn't read them well and respond in kind.

    Hope that helps. I want to hear more too from other ENFJ's.

  8. #148
    Filthy Apes! Kalach's Avatar
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    Question for ENFJs: what do you do if other people make decisions you don't like?


    (Yeah, it's a loaded question... but I do genuinely want to know. Especially about cases where those decisions are close to you if that's okay.)

  9. #149
    Senior Member chris1207's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Heather View Post
    I just joined Typology recently but I have been reading the MBTI books and the postings on this website. I am an ENFJ or Enneagram 1w2
    Scary! I know a guy who I think is an ISFJ who typed 1w2. Maybe he's an ENFJ! Yeesh! In all reality, he the Toby to my Michael Scott.

    Quote Originally Posted by Heather View Post
    I most recently dated an ESTP and found him awful.
    Yeah, they are! I work with one and he's always talking about all the women he's DOnE and all sorts of fights he's been in and I'm all like, "Alright, Russel Crowe"

    Quote Originally Posted by Heather View Post
    I also got asked out by an INTP and just couldn't date him. I was attracted very much but the introversion was so mismatched with me. He saw me socially and loved my extroversion and affectionate personality but totally didn't know how to see my feelings or be extroverted in his feelings. They are too important to be with someone who doesn't read them well and respond in kind.
    You should've give that relationship a try. ENFJ + INTP = Epic romance! You just have to give into it first!
    "... you think deeply about stuff [that] nobody cares about and hardly anybody can understand you." ~ Peguy talking about Ni users. So true.

  10. #150
    Senior Member chris1207's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Kalach View Post
    Question for ENFJs: what do you do if other people make decisions you don't like?


    (Yeah, it's a loaded question... but I do genuinely want to know. Especially about cases where those decisions are close to you if that's okay.)
    I tell them how the decision should've been made and if all else fails I call them a doody-head, NF-style!
    "... you think deeply about stuff [that] nobody cares about and hardly anybody can understand you." ~ Peguy talking about Ni users. So true.

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