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  1. #71
    i love skylights's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Magic Qwan View Post
    I bundle those, but I find those just as hard to find. I try to derive deep happiness from those experiences, but it all feels so shallow. At least I can pretend to be happy.

    I lost my train of thought, again…



    I understand why.
    Not to sound like a broken record, but again you're 18, and you're in the place where life for many people is sort of a muddled mess. You're learning how to blaze your own trail apart from what you've always known and loved when you were younger, you've seen the fallibility of your parents and the community, and you are beginning to dip your toes in the "real world". I think a lot of people feel disillusionment - especially us idealistic types - because adult life is not as as it seems it will be when you're younger. It's hyped up into this magic arena of opportunity where you will do what you love and you will build a big beautiful career and you will become somebody important and you will find exactly what you were meant to be and all of that dream stuff. And then you realize that there's a lot of bullshit and criticism and difficulty and failure. And people still expect you to look at it with the same the starry eyes that you had before, and part of you wants desperately to do that, and the other part of you wonders if you'll ever find happiness again.

    But, as you go, you find out that there is a small happiness to be found in the ups and downs of daily life, even though it may not be quite what you pictured, and that things do seem to sort themselves out. There's some line about how life is what happens when you're making plans, but I also think that plans tend to arise while you're busy living. If you go about whatever it is that you're going about, knowledge about what you want and what you need are going to arise as a natural consequence. I don't think you need to pretend to be happy, not in the sense that you need to stuff your feelings down while putting on a happy face. But I think what Coriolis is saying is try to do the things that make you stop thinking about happiness for a while. Get engaged, get involved, get caught up in something fun or ridiculous or difficult or puzzling. Go live some more life and forget about happiness for the moment being. Depth is inherent in life. You will find it if you are out there. And I think someone said this already, but exercise, if you're not. It basically guarantees you a period of chemically-induced happiness.

  2. #72
    Senior Member AzulEyes's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Magic Qwan View Post
    I'll probably only be on less often. I find it difficult to stay away.
    Oh good!
    I try retiring from forums and then I regret it. I'm the same - trying to take longer breaks. (:
    It takes courage to grow up and become who you really are. ~e.e. cummings

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  3. #73
    The Dark Lord The Wailing Specter's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by skylights View Post
    Not to sound like a broken record, but again you're 18, and you're in the place where life for many people is sort of a muddled mess. You're learning how to blaze your own trail apart from what you've always known and loved when you were younger, you've seen the fallibility of your parents and the community, and you are beginning to dip your toes in the "real world". I think a lot of people feel disillusionment - especially us idealistic types - because adult life is not as as it seems it will be when you're younger. It's hyped up into this magic arena of opportunity where you will do what you love and you will build a big beautiful career and you will become somebody important and you will find exactly what you were meant to be and all of that dream stuff. And then you realize that there's a lot of bullshit and criticism and difficulty and failure. And people still expect you to look at it with the same the starry eyes that you had before, and part of you wants desperately to do that, and the other part of you wonders if you'll ever find happiness again.

    But, as you go, you find out that there is a small happiness to be found in the ups and downs of daily life, even though it may not be quite what you pictured, and that things do seem to sort themselves out. There's some line about how life is what happens when you're making plans, but I also think that plans tend to arise while you're busy living. If you go about whatever it is that you're going about, knowledge about what you want and what you need are going to arise as a natural consequence. I don't think you need to pretend to be happy, not in the sense that you need to stuff your feelings down while putting on a happy face. But I think what Coriolis is saying is try to do the things that make you stop thinking about happiness for a while. Get engaged, get involved, get caught up in something fun or ridiculous or difficult or puzzling. Go live some more life and forget about happiness for the moment being. Depth is inherent in life. You will find it if you are out there. And I think someone said this already, but exercise, if you're not. It basically guarantees you a period of chemically-induced happiness.
    I could join a sorority. That sounds ridiculous enough that I just might like it. That said, my studies must always come first lest I lose my scholarship. I can only imagine what my mother would say. There is also that UU place I've been meaning to try. My mother has a tracker in me and always knows where I am, and she would be pissed if she knew I went across town to see a church, especially a non-JW church.

    I've been fast-walking at night a few times a week, but I should do more.

    I really can't mess up this next job. It will give me the power and resources to help others. Everybody should be helpful.
    Enneagram: 6w7 (phobic) > 2w1 > 9w1
    Alignment: Chaotic Neutral
    Holland Code: AIS
    Date of Birth: March 15, 1996
    Gender: Male
    Political Stance: Libertarian Liberal (Arizona School/Strong BHL)
    ATHEIST UNITARIAN UNIVERSALIST HUMANIST
    and
    SCIENCE ENTHUSIAST


    I say this as a reminder to myself, but this goes for everyone:

    You can achieve anything you set your mind to, and you are limited only by how dedicated you are to succeed!

    -Magic Qwan

  4. #74
    The Dark Lord The Wailing Specter's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by AzulEyes View Post
    Oh good!
    I try retiring from forums and then I regret it. I'm the same - trying to take longer breaks. (:
    I understand.
    Enneagram: 6w7 (phobic) > 2w1 > 9w1
    Alignment: Chaotic Neutral
    Holland Code: AIS
    Date of Birth: March 15, 1996
    Gender: Male
    Political Stance: Libertarian Liberal (Arizona School/Strong BHL)
    ATHEIST UNITARIAN UNIVERSALIST HUMANIST
    and
    SCIENCE ENTHUSIAST


    I say this as a reminder to myself, but this goes for everyone:

    You can achieve anything you set your mind to, and you are limited only by how dedicated you are to succeed!

    -Magic Qwan

  5. #75
    i love skylights's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Magic Qwan View Post
    I could join a sorority. That sounds ridiculous enough that I just might like it. That said, my studies must always come first lest I lose my scholarship. I can only imagine what my mother would say. There is also that UU place I've been meaning to try. My mother has a tracker in me and always knows where I am, and she would be pissed if she knew I went across town to see a church, especially a non-JW church.

    I've been fast-walking at night a few times a week, but I should do more.

    I really can't mess up this next job. It will give me the power and resources to help others. Everybody should be helpful.
    Awesome! I think actually a little extracurricular activity tends to raise grades. Some correlation with busier people and better time management. You can always back off a little if you need to focus more on your studies for a bit.

    Your mom has a tracker on you? (Wait - in you?) It's up to you, but I think that would feel like crossing a rightful privacy line to me. You are a legal adult at this point, after all.

  6. #76
    The Dark Lord The Wailing Specter's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by skylights View Post
    Awesome! I think actually a little extracurricular activity tends to raise grades. Some correlation with busier people and better time management. You can always back off a little if you need to focus more on your studies for a bit.

    Your mom has a tracker on you? (Wait - in you?) It's up to you, but I think that would feel like crossing a rightful privacy line to me. You are a legal adult at this point, after all.
    Sounds awesome! They are doing rush right now on campus, so I'll probably just jump into some random one and have a good laugh with some people my age. Why not?


    Yes, she put it in years ago, and if I won't tell her where I've been, she can just look it up. That, and the fact that she has eyes and ears everywhere means I never got away with much. Still don't.

    I grew up with lots of surveillance and no expectation of privacy. That is how my mother found out I had dissent with the JW moral structure before I said anything. She checks my history and spies on me all the time. She has always been like "I always know what's best," but I disagree now. She gives great practical advice and is good at picking up details I miss(my personal weak points), but her morals and imagination could use a tune up. I feel that her perceptions of right and wrong are very skewed toward tradition over reason.
    Enneagram: 6w7 (phobic) > 2w1 > 9w1
    Alignment: Chaotic Neutral
    Holland Code: AIS
    Date of Birth: March 15, 1996
    Gender: Male
    Political Stance: Libertarian Liberal (Arizona School/Strong BHL)
    ATHEIST UNITARIAN UNIVERSALIST HUMANIST
    and
    SCIENCE ENTHUSIAST


    I say this as a reminder to myself, but this goes for everyone:

    You can achieve anything you set your mind to, and you are limited only by how dedicated you are to succeed!

    -Magic Qwan

  7. #77
    i love skylights's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Magic Qwan View Post
    Sounds awesome! They are doing rush right now on campus, so I'll probably just jump into some random one and have a good laugh with some people my age. Why not?


    Yes, she put it in years ago, and if I won't tell her where I've been, she can just look it up. That, and the fact that she has eyes and ears everywhere means I never got away with much. Still don't.

    I grew up with lots of surveillance and no expectation of privacy. That is how my mother found out I had dissent with the JW moral structure before I said anything. She checks my history and spies on me all the time. She has always been like "I always know what's best," but I disagree now. She gives great practical advice and is good at picking up details I miss(my personal weak points), but her morals and imagination could use a tune up. I feel that her perceptions of right and wrong are very skewed toward tradition over reason.
    Haha, do it!! Awesome!!

    That's kinda scary, about the tracking. It's one thing to be a little overprotective, but that is sort of violating your right to independence as a person. It's one thing in your four-year-old for safety... Very different in an 18-year-old. Does she have a plan to let you get it out at any point? Like I said - I don't need to make your decisions for you any more than your mom does, but that one leans a little too far into the cult zone for me, especially now that you're an adult. If it's an implant, you could probably get a medical professional - maybe an urgent care, even - to very willingly take it out.

  8. #78
    The Dark Lord The Wailing Specter's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by skylights View Post
    Haha, do it!! Awesome!!

    That's kinda scary, about the tracking. It's one thing to be a little overprotective, but that is sort of violating your right to independence as a person. It's one thing in your four-year-old for safety... Very different in an 18-year-old. Does she have a plan to let you get it out at any point? Like I said - I don't need to make your decisions for you any more than your mom does, but that one leans a little too far into the cult zone for me, especially now that you're an adult. If it's an implant, you could probably get a medical professional - maybe an urgent care, even - to very willingly take it out.
    Never thought much of it, but I can probably do it. She has one in my phone, too, I got a text that I was being tracked by her number. I thought that was just being redundant.
    Enneagram: 6w7 (phobic) > 2w1 > 9w1
    Alignment: Chaotic Neutral
    Holland Code: AIS
    Date of Birth: March 15, 1996
    Gender: Male
    Political Stance: Libertarian Liberal (Arizona School/Strong BHL)
    ATHEIST UNITARIAN UNIVERSALIST HUMANIST
    and
    SCIENCE ENTHUSIAST


    I say this as a reminder to myself, but this goes for everyone:

    You can achieve anything you set your mind to, and you are limited only by how dedicated you are to succeed!

    -Magic Qwan

  9. #79
    Analytical Dreamer Coriolis's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Magic Qwan View Post
    Yes, she put it in years ago, and if I won't tell her where I've been, she can just look it up. That, and the fact that she has eyes and ears everywhere means I never got away with much. Still don't.

    I grew up with lots of surveillance and no expectation of privacy. That is how my mother found out I had dissent with the JW moral structure before I said anything. She checks my history and spies on me all the time. She has always been like "I always know what's best," but I disagree now. She gives great practical advice and is good at picking up details I miss(my personal weak points), but her morals and imagination could use a tune up. I feel that her perceptions of right and wrong are very skewed toward tradition over reason.
    You need this tracker out now, ASAP. It's bad enough to do that to a kid, but you are an adult now, and have the same expectation of privacy as every adult. Get a new phone as soon as you can, too. For now, you might be able to frustrate the tracker there by having the phone entirely off - battery removed and all. And do check out the UU place. Do things - as Skylights and I have both said now, find things to do: work, school, UU, exercise, time with friends/classmates, whatever. Focus on those, and happiness will find you.
    I've been called a criminal, a terrorist, and a threat to the known universe. But everything you were told is a lie. The truth is, they've taken our freedom, our home, and our future. The time has come for all humanity to take a stand...

  10. #80
    The Dark Lord The Wailing Specter's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Coriolis View Post
    You need this tracker out now, ASAP. It's bad enough to do that to a kid, but you are an adult now, and have the same expectation of privacy as every adult. Get a new phone as soon as you can, too. For now, you might be able to frustrate the tracker there by having the phone entirely off - battery removed and all. And do check out the UU place. Do things - as Skylights and I have both said now, find things to do: work, school, UU, exercise, time with friends/classmates, whatever. Focus on those, and happiness will find you.
    Thank you.
    Enneagram: 6w7 (phobic) > 2w1 > 9w1
    Alignment: Chaotic Neutral
    Holland Code: AIS
    Date of Birth: March 15, 1996
    Gender: Male
    Political Stance: Libertarian Liberal (Arizona School/Strong BHL)
    ATHEIST UNITARIAN UNIVERSALIST HUMANIST
    and
    SCIENCE ENTHUSIAST


    I say this as a reminder to myself, but this goes for everyone:

    You can achieve anything you set your mind to, and you are limited only by how dedicated you are to succeed!

    -Magic Qwan

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