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Thread: Si and hoarding

  1. #21
    i love skylights's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by EJCC View Post
    WTF is that ESTJ doing enabling her?? He needs to grow some balls Te.

    /a little hyper, sorry
    Lol, no worries. They have an adult son (xNFP) with mood disorders (bipolar and NOS) who requires a lot of their time and energy, and when he's in the mania phase of bipolar, he buys lots of trinkets, so some of it comes from there. The ESTJ himself is a techie, so he spends much of his time collecting new gadgets, and he's known for the pile of unopened gifts under his ping pong table since he's one of those people who literally "has everything". He's also very thrifty, and will buy lots of items in bulk to save money, which contributes. So the men in the house are the ones bringing new things in, and then the IxFP gets hyper-attached and doesn't want anything to go out. She's filled two and a half rooms upstairs in their house, but no food, nothing dirty, and relatively neat piles of things - just LOTS of things. About 6 months ago the ESTJ went through a bunch of the stuff and is still working on cleaning it out. But it's very hard - she's very stubborn and gets really attached... I assume she is INFP because it's such a Fi-Si kind of attachment. She breathes meaning into every object and artifact. A lot of the trinkets her NFP son buys are religious, so I think it's especially hard for her to let go of those, because she's very faithful. She's always had a soft spot for cute animals, too, so she really enjoys little figurines. She also had a knee replacement recently, which of course makes it much harder for her to do any major work. And they're getting towards their 80s. We would help them, but they live about 600 miles away. It's one of those situations that sounds easy to solve until you understand the details of the thing.

    They're my grandparents, actually.

    Quote Originally Posted by EJCC
    Letting things pile up makes me madder and madder until the only way I can get rid of all that energy is by purging E V E R Y T H I N G .
    Me too. Stuff accumulates and at some point EVERYTHING MUST GO. I try to be good and sort through it for the useful or donate-able things first, but sometimes I just purge and run. I tend to get lost in the details and memories if I sift too finely.

  2. #22
    Senior Member prplchknz's Avatar
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    my dad hoards old computers and electronics, that don't work and are 20 plus years outdated but eh you know. I'm like him in my rationale, I should save this because one day I'll do this with it, when in reality that's never going to happen. I am my dad's daughter. I think he's INTJ
    In no likes experiment.

    that is all

    i dunno what else to say so

  3. #23
    Member + patch's Avatar
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    Default purging

    Quote Originally Posted by Southern Kross View Post
    Yeah, I admit I hoard a little. I just have difficulty throwing things away. I will keep something stupid and useless just in case I might need it some day. And it's pretty ridiculous what I think might be necessary - sometimes the apocalypse would be required to make that object useful.

    I will also cop to attaching personal significance to objects. I sometimes even feel guilty about throwing certain things out because it's like I'm rejecting it.

    I do think it is tertiary or inferior Si, because the Si doms/aux in my family don't do it. My ESTJ sister has regular purges of possessions that I find to be brutal and ruthless.
    I regularly purge objects or give them away or throw them away or sell them. It creates free space and its easy to clean the place, but I sometimes get rid of things that I need later, especially paperwork. I attach sentimental value to only a few things. I throw away some important telephone numbers in particular, because I dislike clutter.
    That which does not kill me, improves my looks. - Michael Jackson

  4. #24
    As Long As It Takes.... Redbone's Avatar
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    I'll play. I can hoard things, too. Stupid stuff. I'm not having any more kids so why do I still have baby slings and wraps? Keys to cars that no longer exist. But it's also coupled with periodic, massive throw-it-all-away sprees. Everything must go! Fueled by a desire not let any possession possess me.

    My INFP roommate and I were just discussing our hoarding habits and the possibility of an upcoming purge-o-rama. I think he's worse than I am with it. But at least he's not constantly buying stuff that's already here like I do...

  5. #25
    Administrator highlander's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by fidelia View Post
    Whoa! I never thought about it before, but I know two INFP hoarders and one ENFP hoarder.
    I know one ISFJ that is a hoarder and one ISFJ whose motto is, "When in doubt, throw it out." Not sure this has anything to do with type.

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  6. #26
    Senior Member Tabula's Avatar
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    Worst I know is my ESFP sister, weirdly. I think her hoarding is a byproduct of her pace in life, though. "I don't wanna figure out if I really need this right now, so I'll just throw it over there and think about it later. That way, if I do need it, it's there; if I don't, I'm never here anyway so who cares?" Something like that.

    I used to be somewhat of a hoarder, myself. The piles of accumulated shit with sentimental value, I realized, really didn't mean anything in and of themselves, but were sort of functioning as a symbolic stabilizer-protector, and anchor to my past. Then there was the "I'll probably need this in some distant future time or place" shit. So my "Great Purge" was one part moving on with my life and one part getting rid of simply, utterly useless crap. I gave away, donated, and threw out basically everything I owned save for the essentials and a couple extras.

  7. #27
    Sugar Hiccup OrangeAppled's Avatar
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    I don't hoard. I don't like being bogged down by lots of stuff or the maintenance stuff requires. I don't get sentimental attachment to most objects, save the occasional piece of clothing I wear a lot.
    My ISFJ mom tosses stuff ruthlessly.
    My ISFP step-dad likely would be a hoarder if not for my mom (and this is a source of contention for them).

    It's tiring to see negative qualities tossed at Si & Fi without any real connection between them & the theory, yet criticisms of other types taken directly from their type descriptions are protested against as being unfair. Si collecting is more of an example of how a mentality can play out. Collecting is not hoarding. I can't remotely see how this connects to Fi - and if someone says "personal values" then I really know they don't have a clue what Fi even is.
    Often a star was waiting for you to notice it. A wave rolled toward you out of the distant past, or as you walked under an open window, a violin yielded itself to your hearing. All this was mission. But could you accomplish it? (Rilke)

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  8. #28
    Temporal Mechanic. Lexicon's Avatar
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    I know an ESFJ hoarder, I know [of] another ESFJ hoarder, as well. My mother could be a hoarder (ISFJ) if she weren't such a neat freak. She owns copious amounts of utter useless shit. "It could be WORTH MONEY someday!" (no, it won't, crazy lady)- "xxxxx GAVE it to ME [insert sentimental story]" (I go on mental autopilot, here). My ESFP aunt is a hoarder. ISTJ aunt keeps her house in pristine order with no superfluous items to speak of- & I've heard this of a friend's ISTJ mother, as well. My ISFP stepfather has this cache of flashlights (no idea why, just his "thing," - he really hates not having one I guess) - & a few shelves worth of old CBs / ham radios/ parts that he might tinker with/sell from time to time. He rarely sells them though, & that was the point of collecting them to begin with. Or so he claims.

    Not sure if Si/Fi have much to do with it. Given my small sampling, it seems like it's got more to do with who has a higher propensity to give in to compulsions/gets overly attached to things/gets overwhelmed by how much crap they own & the prospect of sorting it is too daunting even to consider beyond transient thought. Psych/behavioral issues aren't related to typology at all, imo. Just illustrated differently based on type.



    Personally, I try to keep my belongings at a minimum. I do have some items that are of sentimental value (things my now deceased father & brother gave to me/left to me)- but even those I've whittled down, & about 99.9% of it has some day-to-day functionality to it (all right- the dingy pink bear in my bed isn't exactly functional beyond the realm of feelings, but.. let's overlook him, ok? k). Examples include a hideous piggypank my bro got me after breaking into my old standard one when we were kids- it holds a good amt of change (it's almost FULL! *feels rich*). His military issue all-weather jacket (I didn't have a rain-coat before this, now I do). My dad's belt buckles. This neat little brass USN submarine shaped pencil sharpener- I use for makeup pencils, haha. If it has 0 utility beyond my own emotional attachment- it's been given to other relatives/donated already (except for the bear- but we've agreed to leave him out of this, right?).

    However, if it were up to my mom, it'd all be gathering dust in shadow boxes, never again to be touched by human hands- only to be gazed upon with nostalgia for what once was. Romantic little glass caskets on the wall. Or buried in the cellar- containers likely to be left unopened henceforth. Shallow graves of days past. She does (at the very least) know I can't live like that, & the previous owners had it all because they used it for some period of time. So, I prefer to actually use the things I need, & feel comfort/happiness when it's something that was theirs. I can't clutter my life with all of someone else's stuff- though admittedly it was initially very hard to throw certain things away years ago; few sparse remaining items- bits of their handwriting on it. Old post-its or whathaveyou. Their font's almost an echo, I dunno. Voices on paper. But you can't keep it all, so I tried to be pragmatic about it, & I have no regrets. If it was all just ...still here.. at that point it'd only serve to amplify the fact that they're no longer present to use these things anymore. Needless pain. Life is now, so I keep what's got purpose now, & I sort of get to "keep their memory alive" (I hate that canned phrase but I can't sum it up another way, atm) in those little things, that way. I'd be sad if these items were lost/stolen/destroyed, but I'd get over it. The worst already happened.

    Whatever the motivation, hanging on too hard just weighs you down.
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  9. #29
    Wake, See, Sing, Dance Cellmold's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by + patch View Post
    You may be onto something Diz. My ISTJ brother in law hoards money. Hes one of the richest guys in a small town, but lives in a small house and drives an old car.
    I think they call that a miser. Just ask Scrooge.

    I myself don't hoard anything if I can help it. Although stuff does build up in my room, after a few weeks I go into frenzy mode and clean it again, then it's given a few more weeks before the pattern begins anew.

    Quote Originally Posted by EJCC View Post
    I am so guilty of this. Letting things pile up makes me madder and madder until the only way I can get rid of all that energy is by purging E V E R Y T H I N G .
    You sound just like my dad. It builds up and up and then BAM he goes mental and everything is being thrown out....sometimes through the window, but he has got better and less temperamental with age.
    'One of (Lucas) Cranach's masterpieces, discussed by (Joseph) Koerner, is in it's self-referentiality the perfect expression of left-hemisphere emptiness and a precursor of post-modernism. There is no longer anything to point to beyond, nothing Other, so it points pointlessly to itself.' - Iain McGilChrist

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    "Suppose it didn't," said Pooh, after careful thought.
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  10. #30
    Senior Member pinkgraffiti's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by OrangeAppled View Post
    I don't hoard. I don't like being bogged down by lots of stuff or the maintenance stuff requires. I don't get sentimental attachment to most objects, save the occasional piece of clothing I wear a lot.
    My ISFJ mom tosses stuff ruthlessly.
    My ISFP step-dad likely would be a hoarder if not for my mom (and this is a source of contention for them).

    It's tiring to see negative qualities tossed at Si & Fi without any real connection between them & the theory, yet criticisms of other types taken directly from their type descriptions are protested against as being unfair. Si collecting is more of an example of how a mentality can play out. Collecting is not hoarding. I can't remotely see how this connects to Fi - and if someone says "personal values" then I really know they don't have a clue what Fi even is.
    Yes. I don't hoard. I like simplicity and feeling that my house is minimal therefore I can feel free to move when I want. My INFP gf also doesn't hoard.
    I read once that Se types tend to go for complexity and Si types for minimalism. I don't know if that could explain something...

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