I saw an article about immature INFJs in Ni-Ti loops and their use of Fe to make harsh judgments and I wondered if it applies to this.
I fear self-pity. Self-pity takes the attention away from others and puts it on me, but do my problems really deserve such attention? I intake information about people’s pain and compare it to my life to try and decide if I’m over-exaggerating my problems. How can I know if I’m a drama queen without external points of reference? Everyone HATES drama queens and ingrates.
I fear jealousy. Jealousy blocks me from empathizing with someone, because I’m thinking that their life or their talents are awesome and they aren’t allowed to complain. I’m paranoid that people are jealous of me, too. The more jealousy I deserve for my advantages, the less I am allowed to feel pain.
I try to do things or remember past events in a way that I think people would pity me for. It doesn’t matter if it affected me a lot or a little; all that matters is that many would pity me. I’m always feeling bad for other people…why can’t someone else feel bad for me for a change? I don’t talk about such things IRL (what a drama queen would I be then??), but it gives me private encouragement that I do deserve to pity myself when I am threatened by someone else’s sob story.
I know I’m terribly judgmental, rude, blind, etc. I don’t want to be this way. Do you think being an INFJ has anything to do with this?