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  1. #1
    Senior Member Habba's Avatar
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    Smile Just moved in with an INFJ!

    Any survival tips? Are we already doomed?

    If you (as an INFJ or NF) would move in with an ISTJ (or SJ), what would be the most likely reason for it not to work? What irritates you about us?

    As we are both I and J, we both acknowledge each other's need for quiet and stable time at home (= no guys @ 11pm coming to watch a football match without a notice).

    But what about me being a ST and she being NF? I already noticed I'm way more pragmatic than she is...
    "The present is theirs; the future, for which I have really worked, is mine."
    -Nikola Tesla

  2. #2
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    Quote Originally Posted by Habba View Post
    Any survival tips? Are we already doomed?

    If you (as an INFJ or NF) would move in with an ISTJ (or SJ), what would be the most likely reason for it not to work? What irritates you about us?

    As we are both I and J, we both acknowledge each other's need for quiet and stable time at home (= no guys @ 11pm coming to watch a football match without a notice).

    But what about me being a ST and she being NF? I already noticed I'm way more pragmatic than she is...
    are you in a relationship or just room mates?

    regarding the Ti(aux)<Fe(ter) vs. Fe(aux)<Ti(ter), take my word: don't argue logically against what she feels about what you feel that she feels that you feel (the chains go forever man just keep on with it).... it just doesn't work. let it express itself and if you disagree (let's say its something about you that you know is wrong), figure out a course of action or gesture to show her otherwise.

  3. #3
    Senior Member ceecee's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Habba View Post
    Any survival tips? Are we already doomed?

    If you (as an INFJ or NF) would move in with an ISTJ (or SJ), what would be the most likely reason for it not to work? What irritates you about us?

    As we are both I and J, we both acknowledge each other's need for quiet and stable time at home (= no guys @ 11pm coming to watch a football match without a notice).

    But what about me being a ST and she being NF? I already noticed I'm way more pragmatic than she is...
    If nothing else, you being the SJ and she being the NF will be helpful, unless she doesn't subscribe to traditional gender roles. I'm betting that you do and that might be a problem.
    I like to rock n' roll all night and *part* of every day. I usually have errands... I can only rock from like 1-3.

  4. #4
    Senior Member pinkgraffiti's Avatar
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    aren't you an ISTJ? is that match even possible?

  5. #5
    Lay the coin on my tongue SilkRoad's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Habba View Post
    Any survival tips? Are we already doomed?

    If you (as an INFJ or NF) would move in with an ISTJ (or SJ), what would be the most likely reason for it not to work? What irritates you about us?

    As we are both I and J, we both acknowledge each other's need for quiet and stable time at home (= no guys @ 11pm coming to watch a football match without a notice).

    But what about me being a ST and she being NF? I already noticed I'm way more pragmatic than she is...

    If we're talking about just roommates, I think living with an ISTJ would be just fine for me unless they were super-anal or something! I've definitely had good ISTJ friends.

    For a relationship, I'd actually quite like to be with an xSTJ, in theory anyway. I don't have a problem with traditional gender roles - well, I say that... I have issues circling round that area probably due to my enneagram 6; I'd like to be with a guy who took the lead in the relationship, but who also respected my autonomy (along with trust and caring, of course) - and that could be challenging.

    But I like people who are practical and reliable. And I'm also a reasonably pragmatic INFJ. Based on INFJs I've known who've had relationships with xSTJs, the problems seem to circle around the xSTJ being oblivious to the INFJ's emotions, and the INFJ getting upset when the xSTJ can't read their mind. I think in some ways IxxJs generally go well together (my best friends, and my family, are mostly IxxJs) but xSTJ and INFJ seem to experience a lot of major communication problems.
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  6. #6
    Senior Member Winds of Thor's Avatar
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    I would do the, you know, be kind and respectful..do your part around the house...dishes, trash, cleaning etc.

    I'd make sure boundaries were established first. Rules are necessary to have a stable, civil home (My parents and my sister are all SJs so I undertand this is essential) where everyone deserves to be able to expect to be able to come home to a peaceful home, a safe place.

    I'd be finding out quickly her version of home living and living together.

    INFJs generally don't like a lot of rules (neither do ENTPs) but you all ought to get that established stability so everyone might have a peaceful place to live.
    "..And the eight and final rule: If this is your first time at Fight Club, you have to fight."
    'Men are meant to be with women. The rest is perversion and mental illness.'

  7. #7
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    Quote Originally Posted by Avatar7 View Post
    INFJs generally don't like a lot of rules (neither do ENTPs) but you all ought to get that established stability so everyone might have a peaceful place to live.
    they do suffer from the same conditions other judging types seem to have - the need for an organized environment to keep an organized mind. an ISTJ would just be a little bit more exreme but they'd be facing the same direction.

  8. #8
    Senior Member Winds of Thor's Avatar
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    I've lived with one.
    Here's a thought..How old is your roommate?
    ISTJs are generally really stable and orderly, rules are good and civility is valued and expected.
    Is your roommate respectful? Are they 'independent' and 'closed off' in communication? Or will they have a conversation with you with whatever you ask about?
    Would you entertain...I'd be paying close attention to any cues because what seems like a small problem, if your values are significantly different, could possibly turn into something neither of you want. And that home life would be really unpleasant.
    I'd be thinking about what fits your style. For both of your health.
    "..And the eight and final rule: If this is your first time at Fight Club, you have to fight."
    'Men are meant to be with women. The rest is perversion and mental illness.'

  9. #9
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    Quote Originally Posted by Avatar7 View Post
    I've lived with one.
    yours didn't suffer from that condition?

  10. #10
    Senior Member Winds of Thor's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Mane View Post
    yours didn't suffer from that condition?
    Nah she was very unhealthy. Spilled food in the middle of the walkway and left it there for days.
    "..And the eight and final rule: If this is your first time at Fight Club, you have to fight."
    'Men are meant to be with women. The rest is perversion and mental illness.'

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