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  1. #11
    Certified Sausage Smoker Elfboy's Avatar
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    1) open minded and independent thinking
    2) "down" with trying new things
    3) treats people well who are powerless
    4) doesn't abuse any kind of power they have
    5) willing to change
    6) has integrity and personal values
    7) when there is a miscommunication, they handle it proactively or take it personally
    8) non judgemental and doesn't put words in your mouth
    9) not offended by perverted humor (perverted, but not overly vulgar of course. that's what she said lines for instance)
    10) at least somewhat classy (you don't have to be Cary Grant to be my friend, but I certainly won't be friends with white trash, a hood rat, a whore or a dirty mexican*
    *for those of you who don't know, dirty mexican refers to the mexican equivilent of white trash. it's not referring to mexicans as a whole

    I refuse to be friends with anyone who doesn't meet all of this criteria. some added plusses may include
    1) funny
    2) intelligent (while intelligent people are vastly superior, I'm still willing to be friends with someone who isn't terribly intelligent)
    3) sophisticated
    4) able to contribute something of value to my knowledge base
    5) sexy. if you're a guy, I'm probably more likely to be your friend if you're sexy lol
    6) stylish
    ENFP: We put the Fi in Fire
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  2. #12
    Senior Member King sns's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Elfboy View Post
    1) open minded and independent thinking
    2) "down" with trying new things
    3) treats people well who are powerless
    4) doesn't abuse any kind of power they have
    5) willing to change
    6) has integrity and personal values
    7) when there is a miscommunication, they handle it proactively or take it personally
    8) non judgemental and doesn't put words in your mouth
    9) not offended by perverted humor (perverted, but not overly vulgar of course. that's what she said lines for instance)
    10) at least somewhat classy (you don't have to be Cary Grant to be my friend, but I certainly won't be friends with white trash, a hood rat, a whore or a dirty mexican*
    *for those of you who don't know, dirty mexican refers to the mexican equivilent of white trash. it's not referring to mexicans as a whole

    I refuse to be friends with anyone who doesn't meet all of this criteria. some added plusses may include
    1) funny
    2) intelligent (while intelligent people are vastly superior, I'm still willing to be friends with someone who isn't terribly intelligent)
    3) sophisticated
    4) able to contribute something of value to my knowledge base
    This is really specific....How many friends do you have?
    06/13 10:51:03 five sounds: you!!!
    06/13 10:51:08 shortnsweet: no you!!
    06/13 10:51:12 shortnsweet: go do your things and my things too!
    06/13 10:51:23 five sounds: oh hell naw
    06/13 10:51:55 shortnsweet: !!!!
    06/13 10:51:57 shortnsweet: (cries)
    06/13 10:52:19 RiftsWRX: You two are like furbies stuck in a shoe box

    My Nohari
    My Johari
    by sns.

  3. #13
    Insert witty line here... Ponyboy's Avatar
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    I think time and life are the biggest factors along with how much a person meant to you. There are people I have thought were good friends then next thing I know a couple years have past and I find myself thinking "I wonder what happened to "so&so". (And if they're thinking about me! lol)
    I'm never wrong, I'm just sometimes less right

  4. #14
    Senior Member Eckhart's Avatar
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    Too bad, the server ate my post. New try.

    I don't know if I consciously filter friends. I don't think I can name simple specific "facts" (which would seem superficial to me anyway) which make me decide on if that is a good friend or bad friend. It decides usually on how I feel around the person, how well we get along with and if we have fun and if there is a good atmosphere. If there is not, then I will be less likely to spend time with that person. Or if people let me down frequently, it will make me drift away from that person eventually. But I guess those are normal things which most people would think of to call people friends in the first place. It was never like that I would have a lot of "choices" from which I could pick of my friends out actually (and the thought makes me feel somehow awkward), especially not at the moment.

  5. #15
    Senior Member Santosha's Avatar
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    I will be friends, as in on good terms, with virtually anyone. Good friends? Well, I can be a bit of an elitist tbh. I already have a fairly good circle of close friends. I don't feel the need to add to that circle very often. If I do, it is because I've come across somone or a couple that is just awesome. They have similar interests, they don't pull any weird emotional crap, and they are a joy to do things with and talk with. I feel like I don't even have very much time for my long term friends, to be there for them day in and out. I don't like to add to this because my energy is already stetched pretty thin. People that aren't allowed to EVER join my 'circle of trust' are people with alot of personal problems. Call them emotional vampires, or just misguided, dtc. I just cant bare the weight of having them call my 3 times a day with different crises.
    Man suffers only because he takes seriously what the gods made for fun - Watts

  6. #16
    Senior Member Neutralpov's Avatar
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    1. Reciprocity in give and take
    2. trustworthy
    3. open with inner self, express themselves (not self-contained)
    4. similar life style (wanting community, having time to hang out, around my age of 20s-30s young professionals
    5. accept me as is and allow me to be myself
    6. straightforward honesty and a dash of sweetness underneath


    likes: strong women who like to have a social life, not required but adds the fun element

    All wishing to apply to inner two circles of trust must meet qualifications. Thanks and good luck! The rest are the myriad social groups and peeps for fun and activity based times.

  7. #17
    Post-Humorously stalemate's Avatar
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    I've never paid enough attention to know if I am actively doing anything to filter people or what. For all I know I'm getting filtered more than I am doing the filtering.

  8. #18
    meinmeinmein! mmhmm's Avatar
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    it's not so much me filtering them.
    i do what i want, and the ones that
    manage to keep up, stick around.
    the undesirables just filter out by
    default because they don't have the
    capacity to do so.

    an open mind and potential in a person
    is very attractive to me. i like people
    that know and understand the value of
    hard work. i also find objectivity incredibly
    attractive because it's what i lack, and it
    offers me a difference perspective. i like
    it when people are always creating value
    for themselves.

    i find dead weight the most unattractive.
    people that don't help themselves and
    always rely on others to bail them out,
    no accountability and self-victimization.
    makes me laugh at them. even funnier
    when they don't realise i am.
    every normal man must be tempted, at times,
    to spit on his hands, hoist the black flag,
    and begin slitting throats.
    h.l. mencken

  9. #19
    Phantonym
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    Well, I guess I see friendship as an equal process of give and take and trust. I definitely haven't mastered it myself, but I try. So, when I start to feel that I'm giving out way more than I receive and if I talk with them about it and things don't get better within reasonable time, things just start to cool down. Things might pick up again after a while, but they mostly don't.

  10. #20
    Senior Member Chiharu's Avatar
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    Umm... funny, not offended/mostly understands my humor, interesting, at least somewhat intelligent, willing to argue, isn't unnecessarily cruel, not usually hypocritical, not enslaved to mainstream... and I have to get a good vibe from them It's weird but I just get a sense about people... and if it's bad, BAM, I don't like them and probably never will. It sounds insane, but every time I ignore it and befriend someone against my better judgement, something goes horribly wrong.

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